The Truth about Intelligent Design... The Animator speaks out...

[The Animator]

There has been a great deal of heat in the U.S. lately as science teachers battle the religious right in school boards across the country. Supporters of a hypothosis called Intelligent Design (or ID)claim that the creation of the Universe was guided by some higher intelligence, that some all powerfull force had a hand in making things happen the way that they do. Now advocates of this concept call Intelligent Design a Theory, however as defined by the scientific method, it is about as far from a theory as you can get. It's takes many, many years of research, and scores carefully executed tests that show consistent results for a hypthosis to come anywhere close to being a theory. Intelligent Design is only a hypothosis, and a poorly conceived hypothosis at best, because it contains variables that simply cannot be tested. If a hypothosis cannot be tested, then it can never become anything more than a hypothosis.

See you can call something a duck, but if it has sharp fangs, slithers, and makes rattling noises, well... I hate to brake it to you, but it's not a duck.

Educators across the nation are up at arms about the prospect of having to teach Intelligent Design in science classes. Not only does it directly contradict the fundamental principles of genuine science, but some feel it is a "trojan horse" designed to introduce religous principles, in the guise of science, into publicly funded schools.

Now as ass backwards as fundemental christians are, sometimes shots in the dark can actually hit something. After about 190 posts I'm finally going to break cover... It's time you knew the truth.



I designed the Universe. It was all me, now I'm not God mind you, but he appointed me to be head of the design team. I guess it was because of a book I published some years before entitled "How to Create a Universe in Seven Easy Steps".

He said "Look I want it to be really big, and have lots of cool stuff in it. I want alot of black, with a whole bunch of little white dots all over the place... Oh and um... I'm gonna need it done in a week."

Talk about deadlines, an entire universe in seven days. Even for an all powerfull entity such as myself that's a pretty friggin' tall order. I delegated alot of the small stuff, but all the really important aspects of the inner workings of this universe were all part of my creative vision... by creative vision I mean hallucinations brought on by sleep deprivation. By day three things were really getting difficult, but fortunately by that time, I had invented Cuban coffee.

God would pop in once or twice a day and say "Hey how are things going in here." And I'd take a minute or two explain some of the details and he'd smile and nod. When I got a little too technical for him his eyes would glaze over and he say something like.. "Well, OK.. go ahead and keep doin' what you're doin' and uh... I've got a meeting..."

By "meeting" of course he ment he was headed to the bar down the street to get shitfaced while I was stuck engineering "his" project.

Well, anyway, to make a really long story short, my team and I busted our collective assses to get the Universe done on schedule. We even worked straight through the weekend. We finally put the finishing touches on it late in the evening on Sunday, we called God and said, "Hey your Universe is ready, come and take a look."

No answer.

Um God, hey it's me... the Head of the Creation team...

Are you there?

Hello?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The lazy bastard fell asleep!!!!

Well, it was probably the booze and the blow he did down at the bar Saturday night, course the hookers probably wore him out too.

Anyway God comes in first thing Monday morning grinning from ear to ear, through I'm sure it was more to do with the hot chick in the blue dress he was with, than with the Universe I had created for him. Honestly I don't know if he even cares about this project anymore, the last three days of the project he didn't even show up to check on us. Anyway he's telling this Lucy chick all about my Universe, but he's getting it all wrong, cause he wasn't even here when we built the damn thing.

She's fawning over him like he's some kinda genius. If it wasn't for my artistic skill there wouldn't be a Universe for her to drool over at all. Then she asks him.

"Did you really build this whole thing in seven days?"

Well at least this is the part where his ego deflates a bit and tells her that it was my design team and I that did all the work. After all, all he did was commision and bankroll the project, credit for the actuall creation of the universe should go to....

"Actually I did it in six, on the seventh day I took a nap."

"Seriously, you did it in six? That's amaizing, you're one hell of an artist."

"Yeah, well what can I say sweetheart, I'm God, I can do anything."


What the Fuck?

Did he just take credit for all my work? Did he just say that he built this whole fucking thing in six days, all by himself?

Alright he wants to play that game, he can play that game... I quit the project, and took the whole team with me. Before I left, however, as I took one final look at my creation I had another brilliant idea.

I added a little something to his universe, something that really shouldn't be there. Now if he really gave a damn about this Universe of his he would notice this problem and put a stop to it before it was too late. However, since you're all still here he obviously hasn't changed much. In a thousand years or so when you guys cause the total destruction of his universe I'll be at the bar, with Lucy, lauging my ass off.

[Bunny]

1. hahahaha!

Good one!

[dbonds]

2. I am not a Christian , but I do not mind the concept of ID

If they are saying that the universe was created out of a pattern defined by the rules of science and nature just adding in the concept that all the universe itself is intelligent, then to me that is fine. If it leaves in place all science, then any awareness within the universe itself and all rules of physics as the pattern it set forth comes under freedom of religion and is not in conflict.

[IrateCitizen]

4. "Intelligent design" completely violates the scientific method...

That is why it should not be taught in public schools. It is a hypothesis that cannot be either proven or disproven through experiment and observation. It is not based on holding up under experiment, it is simply a blind faith.

[dbonds]

6. What do they mean by teaching it?

Are they saying simply, "some people think these events occured over time guided by the rules of physics, but some people think the rules of physics is set forth by an intelligent pattern set to guide things", then go on with the other stuff. Or is there more to it?

[grumpy old fart]

7. Yep that's the whole ball of wax. God is behind it all...whoop Dee doo..

adds nothing to our ability to do or learn anything. A Duck created the design, Satan created the design, Zeus created the design...it's just another way to sneak religion into schools and stifle thought....

[IrateCitizen]

8. It's the idea of an "intelligence" being behind the design...

... of the universe. IOW, the idea that God created the universe.

Now, I'm a person of religious and spiritual faith. But this has absolutely NO BUSINESS inside a science class. It makes a mockery of science.

Intelligent Design is just another name for Creationism. Just like "personal SS accounts" is just another name for "privatized SS accounts". Don't believe the propaganda to the contrary.

[dbonds]

10. I agree if they are saying it IS by ID.

I thought they were just providing a 'possibilty' hook for religion outside of school.

[H2O Man]

9. I think the mere mention of it

in public school is to be avoided. I say that as a person who believes 100% in I.D. But to discuss it is public school is wrong, because it is my religious and spiritual belief system. If I want my children to be exposed to it, I can talk to them at home, and bring them to any or every house of worship I want. I can even enroll them in private school. But I should not expect my religious/spiritual beliefs to be promoted in public school.

[IrateCitizen]

11. EXACTAMUNDO!

Personally, I believe in some kind of "intelligent design" as well. But it's a religious/spiritual belief, not a provable hypothesis. Therefore, it has NO BUSINESS in a science classroom.

[Falalalalala]

3. You are a smart ass son of a gun.....

but, what else is new? If there is a god, she is a woman. Men don't get the details....a man couldn't make a lovely rose, a fuzzy baby kitten or the pink cheeks on my darling little daughter.

[atommom]

5. O great Animator, won't you come to Kansas and explain all that

to our fundie school board members? I'd be forever grateful. :D

[Felix Mala]

12. Perhaps some Carl Sagan quotes might help

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense.


It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in
delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.


Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.


We are star-stuff.


You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep seated need to believe.


The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition.