What Would Jesus Eat? Fundies Turn To Bible ( for $140!!!!)

[rainbow4321]

So fundies are spending $140 to be told veggies are good for them?


http://www.nbc5i.com/health/4245774/detail.html

People turn to the Bible for spiritual guidance and strength. But now some are turning to it to lose weight.

The Bible Diet kit costs $139.99 and contains a video, Bible bars, even prayer cards. The diet preached the benefits of all natural and unprocessed foods, like vegetables and whole grains.

Whole-grain breads are acceptable, and so are fish and chicken

<snip>

"Say I get upset and something really bothers me, the first inclination would be go and get something out of the fridge, but instead, I thank the God in prayer. And pray about it. And I'm satisfied," she said.

[quaoar]

1. Whatever works

[cothomps]

2. Yup...

Natural, Unprocessed Foods. Whoda thunkit?

Of course, there's a lot of humor to be had here:

<i>
Would Jesus Eat Potato Chips?
</i>

Well, that depends if Jesus ordered the Pastrami sandwich that had the side of chips.

I prefer to think that Jesus would 'upgrade his combo' to have a side "Caesar" salad - with the caveat that one cannot use a different salad dressing. "Give Caesar what is Caesar's".

I can also imagine the "Lent Fasting Weight Loss" posters coming soon.

[brooklynite]

3. But no shellfish?

This isn't another instance where they conveniently ignore everything in the Old Testament, is it?

[SpiralHawk]

4. What would Jesus have for dessert?

I'm guessing a mocha-almond torte with bilberry syrup.

[Agnomen]

11. Angelfood cake of course

[Skidmore]

5. Maybe a kosher diet?

[Fleshdancer]

the bread and wine diet?

sounds better than Atkins

[HockeyMom]

7. Figs, Dates, and Olives?

[On the Road]

6. Here's What Jesus Would Probably NOT Eat:

"You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals...." Acts 15:29

That's the Bible diet. And to avoid blood, you need kosher or halal meat.

[peacetalksforall]

8. And some prayers are better than others for dropping that weight.

Soon some firm will weight prayers that are the most effective. And soon there will be a magazine such as PC World that will analyze and rate with text-graph scores and recommendations.

[Fleshdancer]

9. I'm guessing the poverty is what kept him slim...

It's all the rage in 3rd world countries right now. :eyes:

[LiberalEsto]

10. Were chickens mentioned in the Bible?

I'm not so sure they were.

Maybe goat and sheep.

[Coyote_Bandit]

12. Here's Another Fundie Diet

http://www.makersdiet.com/jr_bio.shtml

[noonwitch]

13. Lots of food cooked in olive oil and garlic

Mmm. I love middle eastern and mediterranean cuisine.

[ironflange]

14. Let's be sure to include. . .

The locusts Jesus enjoyed while camped out in the desert.