The Kids Are F$#@ed Up: New Book Blasts Parental, Cultural Absolutism

[johnfunk]

Ripped from the pages of Salon:

In his new book "The Road to Whatever: Middle-Class Culture and the Crisis of Adolescence," Elliott Currie, an internationally recognized authority on youth and crime, says that irresponsible adults are responsible for the current epidemic of troubled, drug-addled teenagers. In an angry indictment of middle-class culture, Currie claims that punitive and uncaring parents, hands-off institutions and a societally pervasive "sink or swim" attitude are largely responsible for the problems suffered by many American teens. Woe is the teen that becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, Currie says, because there is shockingly little support available.

...

[Author Elliott Currie:] One of the things I try to argue in the book is that middle-class kids have always had it rougher than we nostalgically think. We've been in denial of the state of middle-class youth since back when I was a teenager in the late 1950s and early 1960s. There have always been more problems and pressures than we were willing to confront. Even scholarship has ignored them, has not tried to understand their problems and what causes them.

However, I do think there are several ways in which things have gotten worse: There are the school shootings, the emergence of white gangs as a suburban phenomenon (that existed when I was a kid, but not on a level they do today), and especially, the prevalence of drugs.

Yessirree, that Ol' Time Gospel, Ol' Time Cold War moral absolutism has done wonders for safeguarding the youth of America, all right -- and applyign those same cheap-shot "moralist" principles sure does wonders when it comes to helping a kid who's descended into a spiral of crime and/or drugs in Red State AmeriKKKa!

The book is The Road to Whatever: Middle-Class Culture and the Crisis of Adolescence by Elliott Currie. I'm buying a copy.

[Warpy]

1. Does she address economic issues?

I'm talking specifically of the beating working people have taken over the past 35 years, with real wages falling to the point that both parents must work full time in order to survive.

Ghettoizing women in the suburbs with no income or property of their own was a rotten system for women, but it did provide their children with supervision and counsel they're simply not getting now. Very few women are able to afford that lifestyle today.

Parents are attempting to get their children though adolescence by scheduling multiple after school activities so that they won't have time to get into sex, drugs and rock and roll. It's not working, and it's only increasing pressure on kids who already have precious little down time.

I sincerely hope cheap labor pubbies enjoy gangs, drugs, grafitti, and exploding meth labs, because they're going to see more and more as wages continue to drop. I hope they enjoy funerals, because they're going to see their own kids starring in them as hope for a better life dies first.

[johnfunk]

2. Yes, he does, in the Salon article: "[I]t's a problem of resources...."

"... Parents are pressed for time and money. In addition, there are very few sources of social support for parents. We're continually taking away money for childcare, school counselors, things that could help parents do a better job of parenting. We don't provide resources the same way many other countries do: universal childcare benefits, vacation time, family allowances."

[bloom]

7. Another big thing

is the length of the work week.

Europeans - France and Germany anyway - seem to understand the value of a shorter work week way more than Americans do (under 40 hours).

One thing that would help this whole thing out tremendously would be more "part time" jobs that paid a reasonable amount per hour.

[IrateCitizen]

9. Europeans have traded "things" for "leisure"...

People in Europe live in smaller spaces than we do, encourage living in towns and cities more than we do, and on average have significantly fewer possessions than we do. Of course, having visited there for some time, I would also say they have a much, much higher QUALITY of life, even if their STANDARD of living is considered less than the US.

When Americans take their 1-2 weeks of vacation each year, they use it as yet another opportunity to CONSUME. They go to resorts. They go to Disneyworld. They do things that necessitate SPENDING MONEY, money they spend the other 50 weeks of the year slaving away for.

When Europeans take their 4-6 weeks of holiday each year, they just use it to get away. They visit family. They enjoy the outdoors. They engage in activities built around LEISURE that don't involve spending tremendous amounts of money.

In the US, we've chosen the mantra of "more, more, more" instead of "enough". And we're paying the price for it. That's why I at least double my vacation each year (from 2 weeks to 4-5) by taking unpaid leave. I'd rather have the time off to recharge than the money to buy more junk that I don't need. In that sense, I'm probably much more "European" than "American".

[bloom]

12. On vacations with our kids

we would camp (sometimes backpack - at the ocean - at State and National parks) or visit relatives mostly (and visit art galleries...). Our son would hear that his friends would go on vacations and do all the spend money types of things and complain that we didn't do that. We might spend a day or two at an amusement park or some other types of things. But he got the idea that we should do that EVERY day or something. I couldn't believe it.

(We should have lived in a more liberal area... ).


I wonder what he ends up doing with his kids. :shrug:

[johnfunk]

3. "Cheap labor pubbies enjoy gangs, drugs, grafitti and exploding meth labs"

I think you nailed it with that one phrase. Yes, "cheap labor pubbies" are a serious contributing factor to the epidemic of failing families.

[Warpy]

4. Alas, I'm not witty enough to have originated it.

http://www.conceptualguerilla.com/beattherightinthree.htm

[IrateCitizen]

5. In a similar vein, I'd suggest "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher...

I haven't read the whole thing yet, but my wife has (she's studying to be a school counselor) and it focuses on how destructive our culture is to adolescent girls in particular.

As communities have been broken down, we have become a culture obsessed with appearance, because the familial relationships of old are gone. Also, kids inevitably spend more time with their televisions now than they do with their parents.

The suburban utopia has been incredibly destructive in this regard, because parents spend more time in pursuit of "things" than they do in spending quality time with their children. Rather than going on vacations in which they engage in activities like camping (which I did a lot of as a kid) where they can really spend time with their kids, vacations are concerned primarily with consumption.

Pipher proposes what should be a not-so-radical solution to these problems -- parents need to scale back and re-prioritize. They need to help develop senses of community in their neighborhoods. They need to actually LISTEN to their kids. Now, such solutions should not BE radical, but since they directly challenge the more-more-more attitude prevalent in our culture, they ARE.

Personally, I think that our kids today are growing up with precisely the same kinds of values that we've allowed to take over modern culture. And yet people recoil in horror from this saying, "Well, it isn't MY fault!" It's ALL of our faults, and it's up to US to do something about it.

[CatBoreal]

8. Pipher has another book I'd recommend as well....

The Shelter of Each Other.

From Chapters.ca:

The bedrock of our society and culture, families of today are under assault from every side. Parents struggling under their own pressures and unmet needs don't know how to protect their children from crime, poverty, abuse and media violence. The pursuit of money and objects has supplanted caring and intimacy -- and stressed-out children bear the consequences. In The Shelter of Each Other, psychologist and best-selling author Mary Pipher does for the American family what she did for adolescent girls and their parents in Reviving Ophelia: she opens our eyes to the realities we are facing and shows us how to change the way we live. Drawing on stories of families rich and poor, angry and despairing, Pipher challenges each of us to find the courage to nurture and revivify the families we cherish.

I re-read that book from time to time (it's in our bathroom library) to help me keep my eye on the prize. It's part of the reason we don't have cable or satelite TV.

[IrateCitizen]

10. Ahhh... television -- the insidious demon...

It's an ongoing fight in my household. I would like to get rid of it altogether at times, but that is rejected outright by my wife. However, I would be more than happy to simply get network channels and public access rather than the mind-numbing 72+ channel plan that we currently shell out over $45 per month for.

Then again, my wife is fully aware that most psychologists recommend NO TV for the first 2 years of a child's life, so therein lies my great opportunity.... :evilgrin:

Thanks for the book recommendation, too! :toast:

[LynzM]

6. Looks interesting

And seems to be true, from what I've seen and read. I'll have to look for a copy, thanks.

[RobinA]

11. After Reading Salon

on this book, it strikes me as a massive crock of crap. I mean, I agree there's a problem, but uncaring, punitive parents and the sink or swim mentality? Where? I was in high school in the mid-'70's, and it was far more "sink or swim" than it is today. And I suspect in my parents' day it was even more "sink or swim" than in my day.

My mother was lousy at math, so she was told by her school she wasn't college material - no discussion, no help - see ya later. Most of my white, middle-class friends jump through hoops to make sure their kids do homework, get signed up for SATs, fill out college applications, etc. All the while saying, "I don't know why I'm doing all this, my parents didn't do it for me." If anything, kids are TOO coddled these days.

Plus, this guy blames lack of a safety net. Yeah, we lack a safety net, but that isn't the cause of "care less kids." I think the answer is elsewhere. I also think this guy's biggest mistake was not focusing on the media just because the kids he talked to didn't. No kid's going to say that they don't know anything or care about anything because they spend their days playing Grand Theft Auto instead of building tree houses. And yes, I KNOW that everyone who grew up in front of a computer screen isn't a zombie.

[johnfunk]

13. I was in HS also in the 70s and if I read the Salon interview correctly...

... the book touches on issues going back to the 1950s.

Even when I was in high school, there was a prevailing "sink or swim" philosophy -- and those who could swim got all the perks, including a staff of "guidance counselors" that seemed to put 80% of their focus on the 40% or so of college-bound students, to the expense and detriment of students who could have benefitted from more guidance.

Maybe that's what Chimpy McFlightsuit means when he spouts off about the so-called "ownership society." He's really pushing the ideologoy of "in this society you're on your own."

[Karenina]

14. Corporate entertainment media

fills childrens' heads with POISONOUS GARBAGE.

Corporate vending machines in schools fill their bodies with POISONOUS GARBAGE.

*BFEE policies fill the air they breathe and the water they drink with
POISONOUS GARBAGE.

GARBAGE IN...

[johnfunk]

15. National Edu-tainment State!

No Child Left Behind... 'Cause They're ALL Dumbed Down, Fattened Up, and Turned Into Good Little Ownership Society Consumers...

I still believe there's much to be said for the argument Elliott Currie appears to be making. I'm Borders-bound to pick up a copy tomorrow.