Tonight, I want to say a few words about my son. He turned 17 today.

[KlatooBNikto]

He was born on this day in 1988 in Kalamazoo, Michigan. His birth was traumatic and because he was oxygen deprived during the Caesarean section, he now suffers from Epilepsy.His seizures mainly occur during his sleep.Many drugs have been tried by his neurologist without great success. He still gets seizures at least three times a week.

His development now is that of a seven year old and the prognosis is that he will remain underdeveloped through his adulthood. But he is able to speak with a limited vocabulary and his writing skills, although poor, are not totally absent. He is able to dress himself and do what he is asked to do if those instructions are repeated.

What I am about to say though is how he has transformed our entire family since he was born.In many ways we owe our son a deep debt of gratitude for making us better people than we would have been if he had not entered our life.For one thing, he is constantly cheerful.Even after he had a violent bout of seizure,as we hunker over him at his bed, his first words to me and my wife always are" I am OK daddy or I am OK mommy". Simple things that we take for granted bring about a smile from him.To him, going to school and meeting all his friends in the special ed class is an occassion for celebration. His favorite is Katie who is wheel chair bound;he takes her all over the school and brings her lunch and any books she wants from the library. His greatest thrill was meeting Jeff Gordon, the Nascar driver whom he adores.

Although I have six other children, all of whom have accomplished much in medicine, engineering and economics, Christopher has become, through the force of his personality,our family's claim to fame. In fact, it was his presence that transformed my eldest daughter after medical internship to seek an assignment with Doctors without Borders in Sub Saharan Africa.Two of her younger sisters , who have also been studying medicine, have cut short their studies to volunteer in Indonesia and Sri Lanka to help the Tsunami victims.

At one time, soon after my son was born, I was very despondent about how fate has dealt our family a cruel blow. Now I realize that our son has been a gift all along;that through his courage and cheerful suffering, he has helped us learn lessons at our age no amount of learning could have bestowed on us.

There was a statemnet in one of Lewis Lapham's essays that I recalled today.It says that there are only two things important in life.Work that brings out our creative energies;and love that gives meaning to that work.I have been fortunate to have the first. The second is a gift my son has given me in plenty.To know that he loves me and our entire family without any reservations is a gift that cannot be equalled.

We thank God he has deemed us worthy of this gift.

[antigone382]

1. Tell him happy birthday for me!

He seems like he has a great family :)

[ignatius 2]

2. Happy Birthday Christopher. It sounds as if he and you are equally

blessed. Sometimes if we live long enough and are very, very fortunate, we find the things in life that are truly meaningful. God bless.

[Padraig18]

3. God smiled on you.

We often do not realize what gifts we have been given. I am sure He is well pleased.

:hug::loveya:

[jrthin]

4. Happy Birthday to a

Wonderful human being who has much to teach us.

[catbert836]

5. Sometimes

God gives us a curse, and we ask him why he is picking on us, only to realize that the curse is in fact a blessing!
Happy Birthday to your son Christopher, and many more.

[pox_americana]

6. Happy Birthday, Christopher

And many more to come

[immoderate]

7. Inspiring.

Happy Birthday!

--IMM

[jandrok]

8. Your entire family is blessed....

You are all lucky to have such a strong bond. Love knows no bounds, and it isn't conditional. You have all learned important lessons, and it appears that you're living life to the fullest.

Happy Birthday!

[Eloriel]

9. What a beautiful tribute to your son -- and

you yourself. Brings tears to my eyes.

Today is my birthday too, btw. Really.

[KlatooBNikto]

14. Happy Birthday to you, Eloriel! Christopher says Hi too!

[Eloriel]

27. Thanks very much, Klatoo -- and Christopher too

I really want to make sure you know that your post about Christopher enriched my day, and my life. Hugs to you both.

[ohio_liberal]

15. Happy Birthday to Christopher and Eloriel

:toast:
:pals:

[Auntie Bush]

17. Happy Birthday to your wonderful son!....Happy Birthday to you

too Eloriel. Gee! I just realized...it's my daughter's Birthday too!
So many good people born on this day.

Thanks for this post. It's good to remind people for everything that happens that is painful...a gift is given in return. Sometimes we have to look for them...but they are there.

[mzmolly]

26. Happy Birthday Eloriel.

:hi:

[BigBearJohn]

10. Happy Birthday Christopher!

[CindyDale]

11. Isn't that the way it always is? Happy birthday to your son!

[Rowdyboy]

12. My throat is tight and my eyes are watery. Allergies must be kicking in..

Anyway, that was beautiful. I wish much love for you and your entire incredible family. What a story...

[dolo amber]

23. You too, eh?

*sniff*

That was lovely. Please squeeze Christopher for me and wish him a marvelous birthday. :)

[Bucky]

13. You are one lucky parent. I think you have one very lucky kid

It sounds like mom and dad are doing a pretty good job, too. Thanks for telling us about this.

[bpilgrim]

16. wow - thanks for sharing that

and happy birthday to your precious young man he brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart just reading your words across the miles.

:hi:



peace

[EFerrari]

18. Happy Birthday, Christopher and Eloriel

Doug & I LOVE birthdays. Thank you so very much for sharing yours.

best,
Beth

[GreenPartyVoter]

19. Sped kids really are special :^) Happ b-day, sweetie!

[jeanarrett]

20. The real deal, God and life on his terms. . . not ours

and you embracing it with gratitude and love - very wise - takes a while to get there for some people. Your son is a lucky young man to have your family as his. And you are lucky to have him. Happy Birthday, kiddo! Change the world!

[PA Democrat]

21. Happy birthday Christopher!

What a wonderful birthday tribute to your son. I was deeply touched by your beautiful words.

When my daughter was diagnosed with autism more than 10 years ago, I wondered if I would ever feel joy again. Today, my daughter is such an incredible source of delight and laughter in our household. She has taught us so much about loyalty and love and patience and perseverance.

[KlatooBNikto]

24. In my town in Indiana, I am now known as Christopher's dad! LOL!

[PA Democrat]

29. LOL! We have the same experience

Our daughter seems to bring out the best in many people! I've often thought that perhaps her purpose on earth was to give people the opportunity to practice kindness.

[KlatooBNikto]

32. What a great tribute to your daughter! You may wish to read

Wordsworth's poem The Child is the Father of Man.

[Dez]

22. Happy Birthday for Christopher

Thank you for sharing about your son. Your family are lucky to have him in your lives, and I appreciate hearing about him.

[SmokingJacket]

25. Have you written about him?

You seem like an excellent writer, and this is a remarkable story. I'd love to read an essay or book about Christopher and your family.

Think about it!

[KlatooBNikto]

30. You are now making me blush! I never thought we were special or I had

any writing skills to speak of. The words that I wrote today came from my heart because that is the way I have felt about my son for quite some time.

I tell my daughters and other sons that " We are all children of God; but some of us are closer to God than the rest of us. Christopher and, children like him, can make that claim".

When the Tsunami struck a day after Christmas, we saw two images that made us think of our son. The mother in Sri Lanka who wept and asked " why has the almighty taken my daughter away from me?" and the second image was that of a young Swedish boy orphaned because his parents were swept away by the Tsunami in Thailand. I asked my daughters how they would have reacted to these images if Christopher was not part of our family.They agreed that they would not have felt the same way as they did now. It impelled them to go and I told them before they left for Asia that I am doubly blessed.One because Christopher's plight made them aware of our obligations to other people who suffer.And that my daughters responded.

Thank you for your kind words.

[mzmolly]

28. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read here.

And, it's close to the most beautiful thing I've ever read ... period.

[FreedomAngel82]

31. Very sweet story

I liked your story. Especially sweet of him with the girl Katie. :loveya: I hope your son has a happy birthday.

[Cleita]

33. What a lovely tribute for your son.

What a happy birthday for him and your family. :-)

[stevedeshazer]

34. Tonight, I want to say a few words about KlatooBNikto

You are an amazing parent and part of an amazing family.

Best wishes to you all.

[Midlodemocrat]

35. How lucky are you???

And how blessed is your son that he was born to you and your family.

What a gift God has given your family and what a gift you have given the earth in return.

You are a truly blessed person and I think, one of God's chosen.

Thank God for people like you and thank God for the blessing he has bestowed upon us, in your son.

Happy Birthday.

[Donailin]

36. The crosses that we bear are blessings

because they put things in correct perspective.

Happy Birthday to your dear son, May God continue to bless you abundantly! :-)

[paineinthearse]

37. Happy Birthday Christopher!

:party:

[bloom]

38. Happy Birthday to Christopher!!

and thanks for sharing. :party:

[SmileMaker]

39. My daughter turns 17 tomorrow!

She will be certain to get a card from a very special co-worker friend who delights in remembering birthdays. He even rembembers the day of the week because he has a form of autism. He actually IS the Rainman (he was studied by Dustin Hoffman for the role). Not only does he function independently -- but, the joy that this man, so pure in spirit, brings to our office is a daily gift.

Just tonight, my daughter told me a story about her friend who had a birthday yesterday. She disobeyed her parents (it was a minor infraction, in my opinion). The parents decided to punish her by taking away her driving priviliges, eating her birthday cake and discarding the gifts they planned to give her!

Rules are important, but this story upset me and I thought of the strict parent/nurturing parent issue.

I am more nurturing than strict (balanced a bit by their dad) and all three of my kids have managed to grow up to be responsible, caring young people

I was raised by a nurturing mother. It's been over twenty years since she died and I still feel loved by her.

By the standards of the strict family crowd, my mother was hardly perfect - a passionate, liberal, working woman in the '60s, married to an insecure, conservative man. The pressure to want to 'fit in' with my conservative and cold family on my fathers' side caused me some conflict over the years. I recently realized that her kind of passion was demonized a long time ago by the cons.

In the end, my mother's passionately, unconditional love is a timeless gift that I now give to my children. i have no idea what is going on with my dad because his 'strict parent' style caused him to cut off all contact with us after his mother died.

Still, my mother's warmth keeps on giving and my dad's coldness keeps on living - far away.

Anyway, my daughter gets a license tomorrow. It's snowing here tonight. I can't imagine anything that would cause me to throw her cake and gifts away but- with the exception of her driving test, I will be strict about her driving in the snow and she will have the good judgement not to do it.

[jeanarrett]

40. You are loved in the "Book of Life." No doubt about it. (n/t) Beautiful

[bloom]

46. That is so sad

for your daughter's friend.

What a reminder of how important a parent's love is. People can manage to get along without it - but dang - how much easier life is with it. (Sad about your dad, too).

[KlatooBNikto]

48. I am saddened to hear about your daughter and your dad. As you say,

love is a force that has a transforming effect on all. I realize that in the early years of my son's life I could have fallen victim to the perfectionist credo and shunned him.I am glad that somehow I found enough love to treat him with the special affection he deserves.

[Obamarama]

41. Birthday Grettings From Kalamazoo, MI for Christopher!

:-) :-) :-)

[KlatooBNikto]

44. Even though we have moved to Carmel, Indiana, Kalamazoo will

always be special for us because four of our seven children were born there.Thank you!

[Ilsa]

42. Happy Birthday to your wonderful and special child, a teacher

for all of us.

My husband and i have a "teacher" with us as well. He has autism. Every developmental gain is a real gift. We share in this understanding and appreciation.

Blessings to all of your family.

[MissMarple]

43. For Christopher, bless you and your wonderful family.

:hug:

[salin]

45. Happy Birthday Christopher!

What a beautiful tribute to a clearly beautiful young man - and the power of one to transform many. Hearty cheers to all!

[Schweeney]

47. Thank you

and Happy Birthday to Christopher. That Lapham quote, it really puts things into perspective. I bet you have love that gives meaning to everything you do. It certainly seems so based on your fine family.

[PleadTheFirst]

49. Happy Birthday, Christopher!

And thank you for sharing with us some small bit of the joy he has brought to you and your family, Klatoo.

[KlatooBNikto]

50. Before we turn in for the night, Christopher and I want to thank all of

you at DU for wishing him a happy birthday.I want to thank all of you for your kind words.

[Dookus]

51. Happy Birthday to your son

Sounds like your family is very lucky, indeed.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

52. Happy Birthday Christopher

I work with children with special needs. They need what we all need - love, compassion, recognition, patience, security, and success - Nothing builds success like success, no matter what that success looks like. I truly believe that the heroes of this world are parents like yourself, that devote so much of their nights and days caring for their children, and emphasize what they can do, rather than what they can't. Thank you for that positive tribute.

[G_j]

53. Happy Birthday Christopher!

:party::hi::party::-):hi::party::hi::party::-):hi:
:party::hi::party::-):hi::party::hi::party::-):hi:




and thank you KlatooBNikto for that wonderful and inspiring little 'essay'! It does me good to read something as positive as this right now. :-)

[Matilda]

54. Happy birthday, Christopher!

And best wishes to his wonderful family.

:party:

[golden voyages]

55. Happy birthday Christopher!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:bounce: :party: :hi:

[amerikat]

56. He's a gift that keeps on giving.

and now he has made all of us DU'ers happy too. What A remarkable tribute to your son and to your entire family.

[thinkingwoman]

57. what a beautiful post!

May your family continue to be blessed.

[flygal]

58. Thank you and Happy Birthday to your son!

As the mother of small children I can't tell you how much that meant to me. Being a mother is something that has changed me completely for the better. You, of course, phrased it much more eloquantly. I think your family is lucky to have you for a mom.

[Behind the Aegis]

59. Happy Belated Birthday Christopher!!!

This story needs to be one of those emails we get in our in-boxes. So many of the "messages" aren't true, but something like this is quite the positive message! Thanks for sharing. I hope you share this with your local paper!!!!!

[fujiyama]

60. Wish him a very happy birthday

on behalf of DU.

You have raised an amazing family. It sounds like it is full of true compassion and kindness.

[Octafish]

61. Happy Birthday, Christopher!

Thank you for making ours a better world for 17 years now. Thanks also to your mom and dad who know what life and meaning and love are all about.

[KlatooBNikto]

62. After experiencing the power of love in all its glory from my son's life

and the authenticity of his feelings and actions, I have realized the importance of unconditional love in all our lives, the type of love our mothers give us. In fact, I have come to believe that it is the lack of love in many historic figures that make them hate others and launch wars.I would put people like Hitler in this category.In another post, someone has remarked how the rejection by Hannah Arendt embittered Leo Strauss to the detriment of many people.

My son, with all his handicaps, has managed to find love in his young life with Katie, his schoolmate who is quadriplegic.He lights up when Katie comes and I can see a smile cross Katie's face when she sees him. He makes it a point to feed her as he did on his birthday with his cake. He knows that she likes the attention and he is more than willing to give it to her. These two youngsters have ennobled my life and that of many others in our circle.To think of them as handicapped would be blasphemous, IMO.

[blondeatlast]

63. Beautiful. I'm in tears. Thank you for sharing this.

My father spent most of his life working with the developmentally disabled and I grew up around them.

They have gifts that many can never know.

God bless your entire family. It's hard work, believe me I know, but it's always worth it.

:hug:

[meganmonkey]

64. Wow, thanks for that, it was beautiful

I was lucky enough to spend a couple years in a full-time, (almost) self-sufficient farm community with mentally handicapped/ill adults.

By the time I left I truly understood why so many cultures saw these people in a very different way than our society does. They are seen as having special gifts and as being extra blessed by God(dess/s), not like here where we tend to see this as a DIS-ability. It is really more of a DIFFERENT-ability.

KlatooBNikto - Not only are you blessed by the gift of your son, he is so blessed and lucky to have such a loving, caring parent.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTOPHER!!! :party:

[In Truth We Trust]

65. Happy Birthday Christopher!!!

God bless you and your family.

[roguevalley]

66. Happy Birthday to him and hugs and love to you all. What a great

and accomplished family you have created. Your son is a catalyst for love. You made me happy just reading this.

[VOX]

67. What a remarkable boy! Thanks, KBN, for sharing his story...

Your Christopher has been a truly special presence in the lives of your family -- an absolutely remarkable story about a very remarkable boy.

All the best to Christopher on his birthday, and to you for providing the loving home, patience, wisdom and security that he needs.

You are a very lucky man.

[NC_Nurse]

68. Happy birthday to your son!

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful tribute with us. He sounds like a beautiful person and he has a wonderful family!