Top 13 Reasons why John Ashcroft Quit

[Artemis Bunyon]

TOP 13 POSSIBLE REASONS FOR ASHCROFT’S DEPARTURE!

13. Could still discern the outline of Lady Justice’s nipple through that thick, purple drape.

12. Had an opportunity to open TGIF franchise in Baghdad.

11. Was getting a little freaked out by Dubya’s extreme religious fervor.

10. He and his wife want to tour the country and break every "blue law" on the books before does.

9. Was exhausted from not investigating all the dozens of scandals that have erupted around the Bush administration over the past four years.

8. The Powers That Be needed him to go over their plans for the next 9/11-level terrorist attack to make sure they conform to scriptural prophecy.

7. Believes Christian barbershop quartet is poised to be “the next big thing” in music, and wants to get in on the action.

6. Wants to become the exclusive North American distributor for a religiously correct recently developed in Africa.

5. After four years of cracking down on Internet porn, was beginning to develop a taste for it.

4. Plans to write a new book… of the Bible.

3. Was offered the chance to take over the leadership of a wonderful little White Christian community in South America, after the of their original leader.

2. With a grand total of ZERO terrorist convictions under his belt, felt that his work was done.

1. God told him to quit.

[Erika]

1. .1

.1 He was an idiot who lost to a dead man in an election.

[Ian David]

4. A dead man killed under mysterious circumstances

[Pluvious]

2. lol

Thanks for the humor !
(something we're still in a sorry short supply of)

[hightension]

3. Had to get home

and get packed for the Rapture.

[nolabels]

5. I will driink to that

:beer:

[hightension]

6. But he won't

heh
Or dance.
Or move his hips too quickly, lest he invite the debil in.

[RevolutionaryActs]

7. LOL Thanks for the laugh nt

[Astrochimp]

8. Link dead in #10 N/T