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As a fellow witch, I would gently remind you to look to the Goddess/God, to the bigger picture. I recognize that isn't an easy thing to do, and I don't claim to be good at it.
I cast the I Ching the other night, asking it about the very things you mention, and how scared I was of the horrors to come. It responded:
Hexagram 59: Dispersing
"There is the possibility of eliminating misunderstandings, illusions and obstacles. The blood flowing from a sacrifice disperses the obstacle between the human and the spirit world. You are involved in a great project. Don't think about anything else now. This is not a mistake. In the end this will correct your entire situation. The center is changing. Be part of it."
The center is changing. I think this is important.
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