The onion hit this one out of the park

[GinaMaria]

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4045

Sometimes they sound more like a real paper than the real papers.

[Richardo]

1. I'm firewalled from the Onion...what;s the headline?

??

[GinaMaria]

2. Nation's poor win election for Nation's rich

WASHINGTON, DC—The economically disadvantaged segment of the U.S. population provided the decisive factor in another presidential election last Tuesday, handing control of the government to the rich and powerful once again.

snip

[DuaneBidoux]

7. Too bad...it's worth the entire read

why are you "firewalled"?

[DELUSIONAL]

3. Nation's Poor wins Election for Nation's Rich

WASHINGTON, DC—The economically disadvantaged segment of the U.S. population provided the decisive factor in another presidential election last Tuesday, handing control of the government to the rich and powerful once again.

Above: Bush and Cheney accept victory.

"The Republican party—the party of industrial mega-capitalists, corporate financiers, power brokers, and the moneyed elite—would like to thank the undereducated rural poor, the struggling blue-collar workers in Middle America, and the God-fearing underpriviledged minorities who voted George W. Bush back into office," Karl Rove, senior advisor to Bush, told reporters at a press conference Monday. "You have selflessly sacrificed your well-being and voted against your own economic interest. For this, we humbly thank you."

Added Rove: "You have acted beyond the call of duty—or, for that matter, good sense."

According to Rove, the Republicans found strong support in non-urban areas populated by the people who would have benefited most from the lower-income tax cuts and social-service programs championed by Kerry. Regardless of their own interests, these citizens turned out in record numbers to elect conservatives into office at all levels of the government.

[LostInAnomie]

4. The Onion is exactly, 100% correct....

...those fucking elitists.

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. Spot on!

--------------------------------------------------------
Have you secured your town and state voting systems yet?
http://www.geocities.com/greenpartyvoter/electionreform.htm

[Nordic]

5. wow, once again the comedians are the most truthful

why DON'T newspapers have headlines like that?

It's the absolute truth.

Ever been to a Bush fundraiser? I have. That's who Bush's base really is.

The whole "Christian Right" thing is just a bunch of morons that the Bushco's LAUGH THEIR ASSES OFF AT.

(man that's some mangled syntax)

[MisterP]

11. ask and ye shall receive

http://mp3.dubyaspeak.com/mybase.mp3

[Emboldened Chimp]

19. You've been to a fundraiser? Do tell...

[bvar22]

6. LOL...Goes on to say:

<snip>
According to Rove, the Republicans found strong support in non-urban areas populated by the people who would have benefited most from the lower-income tax cuts and social-service programs championed by Kerry. Regardless of their own interests, these citizens turned out in record numbers to elect conservatives into office at all levels of the government.

"My family's been suffering ever since I lost my job at the screen-door factory, and I haven't seen a doctor for well on four years now," said father of four Buddy Kaldrin of Eerie, CO. "Shit, I don't even remember what a dentist's chair looks like... Basically, I'd give up if it weren't for God's grace. So it's good to know we have a president who cares about religion, too."

Kaldrin added: "That's why I always vote straight-ticket Republican, just like my daddy did, before he lost the farm and shot himself in the head, and just like his daddy did, before he died of black-lung disease in the company coal mines."
<end snip>

[lectrobyte]

9. The Onion rocks. They had it nailed just after the 1st swearing in

with "Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Over"

[atommom]

10. Their story last week about how the world was touched by our

attempt at holding a real democratic election was almost too true!

[fwiff]

29. So was "The museum of the middle class"

Classic.
It's just sad when the Onion and the Daily show tell more of the truth than the 'real' news.

[lynch03]

12. People are pretty stupid

just wow.

[lynch03]

13. x

x

[sandnsea]

14. Except it's not true

Which has been the truest thing all year, "conventional wisdom" is no better on the left than the right.

Under $15,000 - 63% Kerry
Under $30,000 - 57% Kerry
Under $50,000 - 50% Kerry

As income goes up, votes to Bush goes up.

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.html

[hiphopnation]

18. yeah but

the $50,000 and under range (the way you posted it isn't entirely accurate - it says $30-50,000 - 50% Kerry) 49% went for Bush. It's a very slim majority. I was shocked to see the $15-30,000 range. 42 fuckin percentfor Bush! That ain't nothin to shake a stick at.

[sandnsea]

21. It's precisely accurate

Poor people did not vote for Bush, rich people did. If we refuse to look at the facts, how in the world can we ever win an election. This is why Kerry focused on the middle class squeeze, those are the votes he needed to win. Geezo, I just don't understand anybody anymore. The left appears to create their own reality just as much as the right does.

[hiphopnation]

26. Isn't that something of an oversimplification?

Poor people did not vote for Bush, rich people did. In general it's true. How exactly am I "creating my own reality"?

All I'm saying is that while the percentages of lower-income folks who voted bush are low they aren't that much lower than the percentages for kerry. And the 30-50k per year range (which you called simply "under 50k") was off by only one percentage point, according to CNN. :shrug:

[sandnsea]

27. Fine

Poor people voted for Bush. Okay. Whatever.

[hiphopnation]

28. obviously

you're rather annoyed with me though I'm not quite sure why. Sorry if I'm stooopid. :hi:

[hiphopnation]

15. A sad truth.

The average American will really have to experience the hurt and pain that * visit upon the firsthand before they wake up. I just hope it's not too late by that time. I'm sick of all the introspective, party-searching as a result of this election. I think we did a great job. If the American people are too ignorant, backward, "religious", frightened, or whatever to wake up and see what the robber-barons in Washington are doing to their lives then things may indeed have to get worse before they can get better. I just hope we don't nuke the freakin planet between now and then. Yeaps. :nuke?

[canadianbeaver]

16. Money is Power and Power is Money

Power corrupts absolutely!!!

[noiretextatique]

17. you should read this article too

it's a rather long article, but it explains how conservatives manipulate folks to vote against their best interests.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=2661862&mesg_id=2662863

[sandnsea]

22. Thanks

I will take a look, we've got to turn this thing around. I'm beginning to feel like George Carlin, just sit back and enjoy the show.

[noiretextatique]

24. ain't it the truth?

but i guess democracy ain't pretty. and please do read that article. per our urban/rural conversation the other day, i think it explains a lot about why things are the way they are.

[Zorra]

20. The thing is...I will pass this around to some republicans living on SS,

and living in old travel trailers....and some of them will think it is a serious article, and their eyes will shine with pride knowing they supported Bu$h this year.

No, I am not joking.

[Zimpy.com]

23. truth is stranger than fiction!

Remove the quotes and the article is 100% correct... Now that's scary!

[newyawker99]

25. Hi Zimpy.com!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast: