One week later...How's everyone holding up?

[fujiyama]

Well, it still kinda hurts. It feels as though, for the near future, the hopes are gone, at least politically. Well, the Ashcroft resigning is good news, but we'll know some other nut case will replace him. I have also been unable to watch ANY TV news, and I avoid news websites and newspapers as well. For me, it's the best way to maintain sanity. I have been moving on for the most part, but little things still get me.

For example, at my college, on some of the streets we had these great "One Term President" stamps with Bush's face. Well, I noticed someone (probably a Bush supporter) had spray painted a two over the one. I had been so used to seeing it the way it was for probably years now. Another place we had the stamp was covered up.

How is everyone else holding up a week later?

[in_cog_ni_to]

1. Me? I'm pissed as hell! n/t

[shesemsmom]

17. I'm Waiting

for the other shoe to drop. Go Olbermann!!!!!!:bounce:

[ordinaryaveragegirl]

2. Nervous

Not optimistic about "four more years." I'm looking forward to '06 midterms already, hopefully people will open their eyes when they see * for what he really is...

[ObaMania]

3. Still pissed.

No change from last week.

[Roxy66]

4. I'm just scared they will send him to the Supreme Court!!

Yikes!!!

[itzamirakul]

5. I listen to AAR regularly and I am beginning to...

get throroughly pissed with so many of our own liberal thinkers saying, "Well, no matter whether it was stolen or not, we can't prove it...so just move on..."

I am more concerned with the fact that most all of these manipulated or stolen or lost votes occurred in African American communities and it appears that the liberal leaders have no respect for the fact of this disenfranchisement so that the black voter's vote has no value to the Democratic party either.

Where's the outrage that this is happening for the SECOND time and is even MORE widespread?

[RyomaSakamoto]

6. mugged and violated

http://news.globalfreepress.com/mp3/fraud04/fraud04.mp3
http://news.globalfreepress.com/mp3/airAmericaRadio.com/unfiltered/verifiedvoting.org/dr._david_dill.mp3

[SEpatriot]

12. Doesn't that chart say it all?

Fascism is here.

[Sabriel]

7. Still vacillating between Extreme Anger and Deep Depression

I swing back and forth, which makes for a nice change.

[Glenda]

23. It does, doesn't it?

It's a weird kind of bi-polar

[HEAVYHEART]

8. I'm still waiting for acceptance..

I've been through alot of in my life, and I've always prided myself in being able to quickly pick myself up and move in the positive, the right direction,etc. But I can't seem to do that this time. Not yet. I don't know if I will ever accept the election results. I am so depressed about it that I'm seriously thinking about talking to a psychiatrist about this. I'm worthless right now, I can't seem to do anything. I don't wanna do anything. I haven't cleaned my house in a week. The dishes are piling up. The fridge is empty. I am so goddamn depressed. I know, I'm pathetic. I think I'm losing it. All I wanna do these days is hop on DU and that's it.

So that's where I am. I'm still waiting. I'm waiting to reach the acceptance stage.

[HEAVYHEART]

9. I forgot..

I forgot to add, that I also hate everything. And I hate everybody right now. Except my fellow DUers of course. God I am so angry!!!
:grr:

[vickie]

11. I'm very angry and frustrated. I suppose that's an improvement

from despondent - which I was last week.

[dennis4868]

31. yep.....

me too.....i am in a deep depression...I am in shock....I cannot believe that 59 million americans put a rubber stamp of approval on Bush lying about WMD and a Sadaam/911 connestion, outing a CIA agent, not planning for post invasion Iraq and now our guys are paying the price with their lives, lying about the costs of the medicare bill, lying about the air quality in NYC after 911, ignoring terror warnings before 911, not having a meeting with Richard Clarke before 911, pissing on the constitution by transfering congressional funds from Aghanistan to Iraq without congressional approval, secrecy in the WH, etc..

It is hard to deal with this fact....I cannot be happy anymore...I feel bad for my wife and kids. It is not fair to them. But I just cannopt get out of my depression. I am worthless to my job and family!

[nonconformist]

10. I'm doing somewhat better, but I've had to resort to bubble mode

I haven't watched any TV news since Kerry's concession - in fact, I've watched very little TV at all, only turning it on for certain programs. I've really been sheltering myself from places (online and in real life) where I know there will be people that will infuriate me - either by gloating or by being smugly condescending.

I know I can't go on forever like this, but it's helping me tremendously in the meantime. I'm trying to focus on more mundane things and just day-to-day life, although that is really hard for a political junkie who 'knows too much' such as myself. But I have to do that, for now anyway, to function and preserve my sanity.

This is not to say I'm doing GOOD, because I'm not. The shock has worn off, but I still drift between extreme anger and extreme sadness. I'm trying not to focus too much on the voting fraud, because I just don't think I can handle another big disappointing blow right now... Dean, Clark, Mongiardo and Kerry have just been too much in too short a period of time.

[Claire Beth]

13. worried about our future....

especially for our children and grandchildren.

[SmokingJacket]

14. Bitter, bitter, bitter.

Verging on hopeless.

[bobd]

15. Suicidal Here

Comes and goes. However, there's always at least a 35% suicidal level that never leaves. I'm on Prozac (30 mg), seeing a shrink, etc. I was in thereapy before the election and it seemed to help but POW! the depression came roaring back.

Bottom line: I have no hope that things will get better. The wingers have it all and it'll take a giant cataclysm of some sort for them to let go.

The ground zero guy had the right idea.

:-(

Bob D.

[HEAVYHEART]

16. I know.

Hang in there bobd. I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm right there with you. :hug:

[i_c_a_White_Ghost]

21. Keep your chin up guys

there are more battles to be fought :thumbsup:

edited for grammer

[movie_girl99]

26. i hate that you feel so bad

its rough it really is. I live in a red state so its so sucky to be here now. I try and explain the way i feel to my family , the mental aches and pains, the constant stress in my neck and back but they don't get it so i do get comfort coming here knowing that i'm not crazy. People keep saying it will get better and in time after the shock settles in it will but for now just know that you're not alone...we're here for you Bob.

[Beam Me Up]

32. Please do not go there, Bob D.

Life is a very precious thing. It really is, regardless of the outer circumstances. I'm saying this as someone who battled with depression and suicidal ideation for many many years. I'm now 56 years old and although I do occasionally get mildly depressed, mostly all that is gone now. I never think of suicide. Maybe when I'm in my eighties or nineties and can't take care of myself that will be different. But right now I'm an able bodied man and I LOVE LIFE. I don't love everything about our society--a lot of it makes me very angry. But I've found the best way for ME to deal with it is in several directions at once.

First, I am politically aware and active. I feel like I know what is going on. I don't LIKE it, but at least I'm not one of the sleeping sheep.

Second, I am an artist and pour a lot of myself into making things which express something from deep within myself. It really doesn't matter too much to me whether anyone else 'gets' it or not. I create because that is what is in me to do.

Finally, I have a spiritual practice which meets my need for inner growth. I've learned that the secret of life is attention: To a large extent our lives are determined by what we pay attention to. But even more important is the QUALITY of our attention, for that determines the quality of our lives. (Most people do not know that attention can have 'qualities'--but this is where real spiritual growth occurs.)

I'll also add that I'm responding at length here because I've had my best friend commit suicide and I have to tell you it was devastating to me--and a lot of other friends of his. He was an extraordinary bright and witty man who struggled for years with severe depression and anxiety. I regret that he left us; we needed him--and still do. I think of him often.

Everyone has to find what works for them. Therapy and other support is essential. Whatever you do, don't make any hasty decisions. Take TIME to LOOK at things, especially beautiful living things like trees and flowers and sunsets and babies. They are what life is about--not all this idiocy masquerading as society.

[bobd]

36. I'm Clueless on How to Make the Depression Go Away

I'm 53 years old and have been depressed off and on since 1980. Nothing seems to help. It comes in waves and I'm in a particularly deep one now. It's so tiring to keep struggling with this. Now, on top of everything else, that fucker Bush is back for another 4 years of gleeful destruction of our democracy.

Maybe the fantasy of ending it all is just that - a pleasant fantasy of relief of psychic pain. Maybe if I prolong my suffering it'll finally "take" and I'll snap out of it. Plus I'm basically a coward and when it comes right down to the nubs I probably couldn't do it anyway. You gotta give that ground zero guy credit though. Not everyone has what it takes to make that kind of statement PLUS end the pain.

Bob D.

[movie_girl99]

38. just keep coming here

i have actually been so depressed that i thought of taking my own life. If i didnt have kids im sure i couldve but i always thought they'd feel responsible so i put it out of my head. We all have issues and when i look back at mine im surprised that im not chemically dependent cuz I could be so easily. I have an addictive personality hence the time i spend here. I find comfort here though, i really do. Just when i think things are so shit i come here and by god someone else says just what i feel.

[Beam Me Up]

39. Wish I knew. I suspect everyone has to find his own way.

I'm not a psychologist--although I did spend many years in therapy and did study psychology as a layman. I suspect the cause of depression varies from person to person and is probably not just 'one' thing but a whole series of things tying together with things from one's childhood/family conditioning.

For me, though, the key is 'attention.' Let me say from the beginning, I don't think there is any 'magic'--any way to make the pain go away. Ultmately, what matters is my relation to the pain; in a sense, my 'attitude' toward it. On one hand I can try to suppress it--that doesn't really work because the consequences of suppression drive other psychic forces that end up causing possibly even more problems. On another hand, I can become obsessed with it, wallowing in it, or, perhaps, try to 'figure it out'. None of that works either.

For me the question has become one of learning to understand what I am--what human beings are. By 'understand' in the previous sentence, I do not necessarily mean 'make a map in my mind with words that explain things'. That may be an important thing to do but what I mean is something else. Real UNDERSTANDING comes about as a result of observation (not so much 'analysis') and direct experience of myself.
For me, this involves practicing some form of meditation. I'm not going to try and 'define' that at the moment--suffice it to say that it means trying to open my attention to be as fully aware of myself in the moment as I can--and retaining that intention (to be aware) over some period of time.

I practice this in two different ways. First of all, I give myself time to practice this when I get up in the morning--for half hour or so. To begin, you might have to do it for shorter periods. But I also try to allow my attention to engage fully with myself in a similar way during the course of my day. For example, I might be involved in my job, perhaps interacting with an employee or conducting a sale, and a part of me simply 'observes' myself for a period of time. (Usually a very short period of time.) During this time I do not judge, I simply observe and am aware that I EXIST and am engaged in two activities simultaneously: One is the outer activity (whatever that may be) and the other is the activity of being aware of myself.

Over a period of time--years--I have found this to be a very great help in coping with the swings of emotional energy. As I said from the beginning, it isn't that the depression has gone away--only that I (that is, my attention) seldom become 'captured' by it for long or as deeply as before. The wave of depression (or fear or anger or any other emotional state) arises. I see it arise. I don't avoid it. I just see it for what it is. I may also see that some part of me doesn't like it or rejects it or wants to avoid it--this, too, has to be seen. What is important is simply to SEE, to allow my attention to accept it as 'what is' without judgement or comment or running away from it (as much as this is possible and at first it may not be very possible at all). Whatever reaction I have to what is seen, that too is seen.

I try this but I don't beat myself over the head with it when I discover this isn't as easy as it sounds. In fact, this way of being aware of one's self is probably one of the most difficult challenges anyone could ever face. How can I simultaneously accept that I am what I am such as I am moment to moment and yet hold a portion of my attention in reserve--as if to say to myself, I am that, but, then again, I am NOT that. The logical mind can make no sense of this. One has to 'taste' the possibility of being conscious in a new way. I've come to believe that THIS is what 'spiritual growth' means.

There is much more to life than we know. Much more to life than we allow ourselves to experience. Something within us that is deeper than thought needs to grow and learn that it can 'open up' to receiving energies that allow us to be free from our suffering. Beyond the suffering of my life as it is, there is something else. One can not speak of it very well. Our language doesn't have words that accurately express it--except perhaps in poetry and song.

It is possible to BE in a new way. That is the crux of it. But I have to search, inwardly, and I have to open to the possibility and I must be careful not to fool myself--by either to eagerly accepting my new-found ability or by rejecting it outright when I discover that this gift of deeper awareness seldom manifests. I must continue to search, to be aware.

I hope this is of help. 

[Danmel]

18. I'm really trying.....

I'm trying to not just curl up into a ball- Yesterday I went to a dinner hosted by my Congressman (Steve Israel D- NY) as a thank you to volunteers who worked on his campaign. (He gave use of his headquarters to Kerry Volunteers for phone banking and the like)

He promised to fight and not relent- I hope he will do so- I told him I expect him to stay on their asses and that we'll be watching- he said he had every intention of doing so, and will start working toward getting back the House in 06. He said the Republicans don't want to just overturn the New Deal, they want to overturn the Enlightenment.

So I hope they can at least slow down the full throttle assault on everything we care about and hold dear- human rights, civil rights, the environment, reproductive and privacy rights, separation of church and state. Half the time I want to cry and the other half I want to scream and the rest of the time I'm busy with work and the kids and the house and the like.


So here are some words from our old buddy Bill (Shakespeare) to get you through today (one day at a time, right?)

"Wise men ne'er sit and wail their loss, but cheerly seek how to redress their harms." (From one of the Henrys!)

[Carl Yasutomo]

19. Still angry, shocked, depressed

[Nunne hi]

22. Since you asked ... (caution: virgin post)

I have been a daily lurker on DU for about six months, but have never before registered or posted. (Call it superstition: this group seemed to have good karma going into the election and I didn't want to be the jinx.)

I've had a tough week, and time to reflect ... so, a few personal observations:

The American people, in the eyes of the world, now share responsibility for a war of aggression by investing in that war with an (apparent) majority of votes. As far as I'm concerned, the person who cancelled my vote can shoulder my share of the burden with his/her life or the life of a child. I'll mosh my son across the border before I'll see him march for the reich.

If large numbers of Americans are willing to vote against their own self interests, preferring to use their vote to limit the rights of others, fine by me. Far be it from me to impede their fundamental right to behave foolishly. At some point in time, I may choose to disengage myself from the processs completely (like anybody cares), but that time has not yet come.

Forty-nine percent of those who voted - and more than half of the country's population, in my estimate - will be utterly invisible to this administration. We will be expected to work, comply with the law, pay taxes and generally behave ourselves without one scrap of representation in Washington. I have resigned myself to that fact, but it doesn't mean I'll "behave."

What do we do? I say we embrace our vast "minority" and put it right in the face of the opposition. For the next 4 years (if it comes to that), I will proudly refer to myself as a minor(ity) 49er." Anybody with me?

Thanks for the opportunity to rant, and GO DU!

[movie_girl99]

27. that's how i feel too

when people ask me how I'm doing i try and explain its not the loss itself but how the American peoples' priorities can be so f'ed up. How for 51% its more important who people marry rather than education and health care.

[NJCher]

20. much better

But I'm known in my family and friend circles for my ability to bounce back. I feel for those of you who don't bounce back so quickly, though, and especially you, heavyheart. Maybe I got it out all at once. I cried for several days, practically nonstop.

It really helps to be doing on behalf of our cause, I'm finding. Last night I went to a showing of "The Corporation" at the university where I teach. Many people from the general public showed up and expressed their concern about the encroaching fascism. There are two more meetings and showings and I intend to go to both.

Cher

[movie_girl99]

24. i am doing okay but i feel helpless to a certain degree

I told myself that i would give it a break for a couple of weeks, no liberal radio or websites. I mean I haven't watched any news at all but i come here everyday as if I'm an addict needing my fix. As of today i did turn off AAR and popped in a cd but i cant not come here.

[NicRic]

25. Disgusted and fed up !

Not only at the thieves that have successfully stole another election ,also at the enablers ,the bias media ,and the weak Dem leaders ,who are so far absent ,and are so easily rolling over ! For the sake on my own sanity, unless I see some kind of movement to reveal this stolen election ,Iam going to do the same as our leaders have done ,disappear from the political sceen , and Iam really sorry its come to this .If they certify the electoral votes without any objection from the Kerry camp ,I will put all of my Clinton ,Gore and Kerry pictures and all of my other pro Dem articles in a box and set them in the storage unit ! For how long only time will tell ?

[sandnsea]

28. My 82 year old Dem leader

We have no time to be depressed, we will NOT let them destroy the world, there's work to be done. She's come through alot more in her 82 years than I have in my 47. If she's still ready for the fight, kind of makes me ashamed to be sitting around on my little pity pot.

[Beam Me Up]

29. ANGRY and ready to RENOUNCE THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY ONCE AND FOR ALL

If it weren't for the fact that I'm in Barbara Lee's congressional district--once the home of Ron Dellums--I already would have. I feel absolutely BETRAYED by Kerry.

I'm probably being irrational--but this is how I feel.

I am NOT surprised that the election was stolen. I thoroughly believe the people in control of the executive branch, and much of the rest of the Federal Government, are CRIMINALS of the highest order. I thoroughly EXPECTED them to do everything within their power to maintain their offices--and I would ASSUME anyone with any intelligence would have the same expectation.

So, what happened? This tight-lipped duck and cover response from the Democratic leadership may be a tactic of some sort--but without ANY clue, what the hell are people like me supposed to feel except ABANDONED?

I said I was angry. I feel this country is now in the hands of Corporate war profiteering Nazis masquerading as Republican neoconservative Christian fundamentalists.

:puke:

Edit to add: And feel the rest of us who give a damn about the future of this country and the world have just been ROYALLY SHAFTED by the very party that was supposed to represent the underdog.

[Neecy]

30. tired, feeling pointless, apathetic

If there was fraud in this election, why get involved in the system ever again? They'll just continue rigging it, so we're screwed before we ever begin. (I think this is why the DNC refuses to acknowledge fraud - they know they'll lose their foot soldiers forever. Good, they deserve to). The situation in Iraq just makes my head want to explode and contributes to the feeling of utter disgust and helplessness.

What has perked me up, though, are small signs of resistence. My next door neighbor over the weekend replaced her American flag with a flag-sized piece of black cloth. Pretty gutsy thing to do in Kansas - not all red staters are Christo-fascists.

[ursacorwin]

33. bmu & Neecy sum it up for me

thanks.

i'd add that i'm also a bit fearful, and 'waiting for the shoe to drop,' whatever that may be. the tanks in LA story isn't helpful, but i think it'll be a slow, unsexy slide into real fascism. they've got the kinks worked out this time, and it's in their interests to keep up the charade for as long as there is money to be generated.

i honestly don't know what to make of it all, but in my heart i'm still sure * didn't win.

[Forkboy]

34. The same as I felt before

resigned to our fate and cynical as always.

[NoSheep]

35. Pretty good and Fighting Mad! Emailing everyone who may be able to

help investigate election fraud. :kick:

[LibDemAlways]

37. Have finally come to the realization

that the Dem hierarchy has sold us out to the most corrupt, evil regime in American history. I have turned off the tv and am caring a whole lot less about all the shit * is responsible for. I didn't vote for it. I want no part of it.

[wiggs]

40. Sold out before the election.

Same realization here, but from before the election. I had been perplexed that, except for Byrd and Kennedy, very few of our democratic representatives in Congress (supposedly the opposition party, right?) were standing up on a regular basis and opposing the power grabs, the dishonesty, the secrecy, the contempt, the arrogance, and the irresponsibility of this administration.

Seemed to me that it wasn't democrats vs republicans...it was the people against the government. Most of our democratic leaders are complicit, for some reason, in all that's going on. All of them, together, have a vested interest in seeing that government not be exposed for the insular, selfish, corrupt, power-hungry institution that it is.

So when a senator is bribed to change a vote, when the WH moves 700 million dollars without authorization, when costs numbers for Medicare are massaged in order to pass legislation, when congress investigates torture by US forces, and WHEN THE ELECTION PROCESS IS, AT BEST, QUESTIONABLE, where the hell are our representatives?

We are alone, really, and this is very disheartening.

So on the one hand, I'm thinking this state of affairs can go on for a long time, more than four years, with all kinds of ugly, irreparable damage done by those having all the power. Like you, I'm not watching any of it. On the other hand, I'm very interested and excited to see what kind of mobilization comes of this from the 55 million people who can't believe what is going on.

[LibDemAlways]

41. I saw it after the 2000 disaster

when I watched my Dem Congressman sitting on his ass in the gallery while the black caucus was challenging the vote. Since then I've been redistricted into repuke hell, so I've had no Congressman for two years. I'm old enough to remember when moderates on both sides of the aisle worked together, but those days are a fading memory. Repukes aren't interested in anything but power and more power.

All the threads asking how we can win next time completely miss the point. As long as Karl Rove is around, we can never win. We are up against a political machine that will not take "no" for an answer. They will win every time. I posted this elsewhere but it's worth repeating. They could run David Duke and still win. We could hold our noses and run McCain, and they would win. They own the media, Congress, the courts, the executive branch, and the voting machines. Even if the Dems suddenly grew spines and decided to fight back, it would be too little, too late.

[wiggs]

44. You and I are on the same page with this.

I have posted similar thoughts several times. Looks bad, and for longer than four years.

How will it change? That's not clear yet, and I see only a few avenues:

Change of MEDIA OWNERSHIP (not likely anytime soon...took them decades to do it).

A credible, ungaggable, bulletproof MAJOR WHISTLEBLOWER comes forward with proof of unethical or illegal behavior (I don't understand why CIA or FBI haven't already done so)

If significant 2004 ELECTION FRAUD can be proven somehow, this would be earthshaking and may stir passions up sufficiently for regime change. I haven't seen anything new on this, though, since Nov 5. If fraud had real legs, you would think we would see more and more coming to light. I gave money to BBV last week and would give more anytime this gets momentum, but it don't yet see ignition. Suspicion isn't enough to overcome spin and media non-coverage.

Some version of "STARVING THE BEAST", but focused on media. Get tens of millions in the US and millions more around the world to boycott those networks that are propaganda outlets for the WH and RNC and that have vested interests in WH agenda. It's got to be tens of millions and it's got to be focused. I will boycott RW companies on principle, but I don't believe that even a few millions participating in a diffused boycott will cause enough economic damage to cause them to stop donating to the RNC. These companies are too huge for that. A focused media boycott may change media behavior. The Sinclair episode proved that.


Even though the situation looks bleak, I am excited to see what can happen if 55 million people get on the same page and focus on what needs to be done. I don't see yet what that is, but I look forward to it. It is going to take an extraordinary effort to overcome what it took the RNC decades to build.

[Red State Rebel]

42. Frustrated....powerless

The worst feeling in the world, I think, is feeling that no matter what you do, you can't change things that are effecting you. I'm hoping to see some victories for us soon, even if they are small ones, to help push people back up to the surface.

[hatrack]

43. Pissed off, not altering that attitude

.

[MsTryska]

45. Everyday, i still feel like i'm going to cry.

But i cry when i'm angry, so i don't know if it's sadness anger or just general overwhelming emotion.


today i almost busted out, because a young guy from Norway that I know from another board said he thinks of me as a hero and a true freedom fighter.