A question for all Gay's and Lesbians

[donheld]

I want to know how you all deal with family?

My mother is a bible beater of the worse kind. She kind of supports me as a gay man, but she has Bush pictures all over her house.
My brother and sister offer tempered support to my face but i think it's only to my face. God only knows what they say behind my back. Both are church going christians. My brother is a bible beater, but not like my mother. My sister used to be nearly and atheist, but the last few years has taken up church again.

Thankfully my 28 year old nephew gives me full support, and is far from a freeper.

[LTRS]

1. My family and hers thinks the bigots

are going straight to hell. None of them voted for Bush, although my parents are long time republicans. All of them realize we (our child - their grandchild, my partner, me) are a family, and deserve the same rights and protections as any other person.

I don't think any of our families will ever vote republican again. They are tired of the crap, including the hatred toward their own family members. IMHO, you should talk to all your friends and family and make them understand that when they vote for right wing nuts they are voting against their own flesh and blood and friendships because those people would just as soon see you dead. My family gets that (I have no freeper friends, and by design).

[Lindsey]

2. My heart goes out to you...

Try to create an extended family with close friends (either gay or obviously very gay-friendly). Avoid getting into any conversations what-so-ever regarding religion and politics with your family. If this isn't possible, I'd say to be around them only when it's absolutely necessary. Good luck - I'm a lesbian but am fortunate enough to have two lesbian sisters and a liberal brother and his liberal son who have no issues with who we are at all.

[Sapphocrat]

3. Nothing to deal with here...

My immediate family is 100% supportive, and just wants me to be happy. And they're all liberal Dems. Extended family is mostly repukes, and although none of them has (yet) attempted to rebuke me for being a lesbian, I really wouldn't give a shit what they thought anyway.

My heart goes out to you. I guess you can't write off your family, can you?

[DallasTim]

4. How do I deal with family

I called my mother the night before the election and talked to her about the choices for President. It seemed she was leaning towards voting for Bush. After about 30 minutes, we ended that discussion. The day after the election, she wrote me an email to tell me that she still wasn't sure who she was going to vote for as she entered the booth. She voted for all other races and then looked at the last choice - president. At that moment, she said, she thought to herself "I'm tired of all this lying and cheating" and promptly voted for Kerry and walked out sure that she had made the correct decision.

Dad doesn't vote - never has.

Mom said her Dad, my grandfather, now 90, wouldn't tell her how he was voting before the election. The day after, she said he was really mad. "That Smirking Stupid B*stard!" he railed over and over. Made me smile knowing that my 90 year old grandfather was callung * a b*stard.

By the way, this is my first time back here since election night. I just couldn't handle any exposure as I was too worked up. I have not yet visited a news website, read a paper, or watched the TV news.

Tim

[foreigncorrespondent]

5. I really do feel so sorry for you!

I know how hard it is when family is like this.

My father is a staunch liberal supporter here in Oz (so he is right side on the political scale)I do not have any contact what so ever with him. Not only does he vote against his own daughters very rights, but he is a total homophobe. Hell if he really thought there was a "cure", he would probably make sure I got that "cure." He disowned me a while ago now. No great loss on my part.

My grandmother on my mothers side was raised through childhood in the Church of England but converted to Church of Christ when she met my grandfather. She is very religious and has very strong convictions, and also is on the right side of the political scale. When I came out to her just a few short years ago, I was living with her, her "punishment" for me was to kick me out. I no longer see her either. That one though is more painful than my father. I always idolized my grandmother, and it bloody well kills me (shit I am crying as I type this) that I no lnger have contact with her.

She is now in her Church run home for elderly people. I have been to see her once, soon after she moved in, but I haven't been back. I love her dearly, but we clash way to much, and nothing would be able to be worked out for us now.