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My mother called me on Friday to find out what I planned to do for Thanksgiving ... she was laying a monster guilt trip on me, to get me up to her house. She is all depressed by what is essentially her own doing (frustrated with her business, and other obligations) and leans heavily on me in these times. I know my mother is a republican (she takes issue with taxes and detests the idea of welfare), but I don't know who she voted for. I was hoping that stem cell research would win her over, as my stepbrother recently became a paraplegic ... but I can't say for sure. She is engaged in a battle with my stepdad's ex on his care, and it is getting ugly. If things don't change, I think he'll be gone soon. It is petty and nasty and I don't know how to deal with it. Politics won't be too much of an issue, but I know she will spend the entire time dumping her hard luck shit on me and bashing other members of our family. She can be an unbearable narcissist. My stepmom told me a few months ago, that she wanted me there (the other side of the state) for Thanksgiving ... because my father, stepmom and three brothers are going to be skiing out west for the Christmas holidays and I wasn't invited. The guilt factor there being that her parents aren't in the best of health, and she wants us all together for what might be the last time. So I am an asshole if I don't go running to be with them when I can. My father is a die hard republican, as is my older brother. Stepmom is relatively liberal, but in personal opinion only. I doubt she bothers much with politics, and keeps quiet to appease my father. My older brother is an asshole ... he sent me a scathing e-mail telling me to keep my politics to myself, after I responded to a fundy friend's e-mail ... and forgot that my brother was on the list as well (though he is not religious). I have no desire to see him. I'll eventually have to address the fact that he invests my money, and while I trust him to do what is right ... I don't want to be beholden to him in anyway (unfortunately, I have not one clue how to manage it myself). I'm sort of basing where I'll be on him. If goes to my mom's, I'll probably grudgingly drive out to my dad's. If he stays there ... I'll have to tolerate my mother. I would rather be alone. There have been so many times where I did not feel that I was a priority in my parents eyes, and resent like hell that I must go out of my way to keep it together. I dread it. I spent Christmas of '02 sitting on my bedroom floor (the only place that wasn't a total disaster from remodeling) eating spaghetti, while my mother and father were actually celebrating the holidays in the same room for the first time since '79. I fucking hate holidays.
Thank you for letting me rant. I totally feel your pain.
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