Bet you can't beat this...

[shance]

I was at a tennis tournament in Carson City at the new Walmart Stadium (literally its some new gargantuen Walmart something or other)and I went to the concession area to buy some bottled water.

So when I was buying the water, the guy told me he would have to take my cap off and throw it away. Not one to let this one go easy, I asked him why in the WORLD he needed my bottle cap??

You want to know the reason why he said the Walmart 'Society' refused to give me my bottlecap back?

Oh just take a guess........


Yep, thats right.....SECURITY REASONS!!

Well OF COURSE it was for security reasons, how could I have been so stupid?

Either they think I have one hell of an arm to beam that cap at some innocent old lady, or gosh, could it be they wanted me to actually BUY MORE WATER??

No, couldnt be, I mean after 9/11 WE ALL NEED TO BE SECURE FROM PLASTIC BOTTLE CAPS dont we?

This Security excuse is getting amazing mileage isnt it? And great profits too.....

I vowed to write a letter, but I have let my fellow DU'ers down on the job, and I didnt do it.*** I will find out how I can contact them Tuesday so I can clear my conscience of this asinine excuse for more profit.

Thats pretty hard to beat, but if you can I would love to hear it. So what incidents have you dealt with in the name of Homeland Security?

[Isome]

1. your BOTTLE CAP?!

That has got to be the lamest disguise of greed I've ever heard!

[shance]

12. Amazing huh?

And like so many things, it used to be a great tournament when it was played in Manhattan Beach California because of course it was before they sold out to the Walmartatorium.

[Wonk]

2. You might have taken your $4 bottle of water outside of the stadium and

re-sold it for a profit? :shrug:

[InkAddict]

3. Well, in the name of wild homeland animal security

one should NEVER FAIL to use a scissors to cut the rings of 6-paks and milk bottle lid seals so the little critters don't get their heads stuck, strangle, and go cruelly into the nite.

[UnapologeticLiberal]

4. I think they were doing that before 9-11

and it is really stupid and I never understood the point.

[shance]

13. Well now its in the good ole name of Security reasons

Im going to have to sit here and think for a moment what excuses I can make under the name of security.

I know one*** Im headed out to play some tennis and will probably be my usual late self this morning. Have I got an excuse for my friends NOW.......

:)

[oldshoe]

5. But plastic bottle caps are a true danger

Thank goodness they took it away from you! While one plastic bottle cap may seem innocent enough, terrorists sneaking around the stands and under the bleachers stuffing their pockets with many compose a true security threat. Once you have a couple of hundred collected, they can be
a) set on fire,

b) tossed like marbles under the feet of the players during a match,

c) left in tempting places for 3-year olds to choke on,

d) stuffed up the butt of someone eating greasy junkfood leading eventually to the explosive release of flamable methane.

e) glued to the lenses of security cameras, blocking the image

f) tossed onto the nose of a supporter of player A, from player B's fan group, and vice versa, and in the ensuing fist fight and riot, breaking into Walmart's ammo & gun department starting the civil war the Right fears

g) stuck up the exhaust pipes of SUVs in the parking lot, causing them to melt, starting multiple car fires.

Oh, the list of heinous acts is endless, I'm so glad that someone was on the ball and confiscated the caps. Here's hoping that in the future, Ashcroft, Bush & Ridge authorize binding and gagging all spectators to their seats at all future events to truly preserve our safety and freedom. Tubes and funnels can still be connected to the fans' mouths so that concession sales don't suffer, and the national anthym can be hummed along to even bound and gagged. Microphones can be installed in the seatback in front of everyone to ensure compliance.

Whew! Another close call avoided by our every vigilent guardians of public saftey!

[shance]

11. ME TOO!*** Im so grateful individuals like these

have their priorities straight!

:)

[unblock]

6. security reasons:

walmart's financial security, that is.

[unblock]

7. wait, it's also a regular walmart store?

can you buy a month's supply of 12oz. water bottles?
do they make you take the cap off each one?

[Devils Advocate NZ]

8. You're thinking in the wrong direction...

they are not trying to protect people from the cap, but from a full unopened bottle. Without the cap, being hit with a thrown bottle will result in getting wet rather than getting hurt. Think about it.

If you throw the bottle with the lid on, the water stays in the bottle both during flight and at impact, ensuring the full force of the throw is passed into the victim. Without the cap, some of the water will come out during the throw, more during flight, and most of the remainder on impact, ensuring that most of the energy of the throw will be dissipated harmlessly.

This has nothing to do with Homeland Security, and everything to do with protecting the players from full bottles being thrown at them.

[izzie]

9. Oh my God we are being attack by bottle cap people.

I must tell Chicken Little she thinks the sky is falling. This will really put the fear in her.Will I make it to Sept 2? Should I see what color we are at? Thank God for Bush and the GOP as I will be saved from bottle caps, with them.

[lynndew2]

10. LOL

n/t