I Have Dragons To Slay...

[Steely_Dan]

Tonight, I feel out of step with the rest of the world...It's as if the world has gone just a little crazy for a moment or two.

I end my work day and arrive home to my little apartment on the west coast...alone again. Tired from slaying the dragon one more time. I had purchased F9/11 yesterday but couldn't bring myself to watching it last night. I had seen it in theaters once already and anyway, the VP debates were on.

But tonight I slipped the DVD into my Mac and waited for the familiar sounds of the spinning disk. I knew that my passions would override my reason before the night was through.

I was drawn deeper and deeper into the film as my anger rose. Finally, it was the mother from Flint...her loss, her patriotism, the sacrifices made by her son and their family protecting our freedoms. My heart was breaking.

The soulful sounds of Niel Young "rocking in the free world" faded as I sat alone at the end of my bed. I was drained...emotionally spent. And I wept in silence.

How did all of this happen? Wasn't it our job to stand guard over the door of reason? Now we are left to face a country in "denile"...too afraid to admit that so many lives have been lost for a cause which remains unjustified. We cannot face ourselves and the horrific nature of man's inhumanity to man.

Regardless of the outcome of this election, I am assured that for the few reaming years of my life, I must live in the shadow of this tragedy and what we have done.

All that I seem to have remaining in my life comes as a light from my monitor...my cyber fireplace where I can share my fears and indeed, my hopes.

I have been so angry for so long...my energy for the "good fight" lies in question. My thinking is muddled and disjointed...I just want someone to stop the Ferris wheel so I can get off.

My greatest fear is that in fighting for what I believe in...to have the courage of my convictions...for all that I am and for all that I will become...that in the winning of this battle, we may still remain forever lost.

I must try and get some sleep now. For there are more dragons to slay tomorrow...and another mother cries for her lost child.

-Paige

[LiberalVoice]

1. It's so sad.

You know, when I went and watched f911 in theatres I cried twice...I've never cried at a movie before in my life ad rarely cry in general. So when I went and bought the movie on tuesday I popped it in my PS2 and cried two more times.

It sickens me how dispicable those fucking bastards in office are.

[skygazer]

10. I don't cry at movies either (especially in public)

When I saw F911 in the theater, I went alone and I sat in the darkened theater and cried. I composed myself to go get in my car and found myself crying all the way home. I actually had to pull over once because I couldn't see the road. I'm nearly crying now as I type this. And last night, when I watched, I cried again.

I love this country. I love what it has traditionally stood for. And I am so sickened by what has been done to it by people whose agendas don't include America's best interests or the interests of her people. Nor do they include the best interests of the world. It is an agenda of rape and pillage, take all you can take and leave a shattered, barren landscape for future generations to contend with.

It's anger and sorrow and frustration all rolled into one. And there is fear. Not fear of terrorism or shadowy foreign threats. It's fear of my own government.

"And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"

[Steely_Dan]

12. Well Written...Thanks.

[The Straight Story]

2. For some reason

I am reminded of the view of earth from space. How peaceful it looks, how eden like and serene. Until you apply the magnifying glass. Then you see the virus which runs rampant.

Same with out country and leadership, and it's not just *. The more closely one looks the sadder things become.

[qnr]

3. I empathize

I used to tell people that "I'm just hanging around, waiting for the first interstellar colonization effort." There are times these days when I sorely wish that was true.

[PittLib]

4. I'm not trying to contribute to your sadness ...

but this young soldier was in one of my classes last year. (Ironically, it was a speech class, in which I chose to persuade young people to vote for my final). This story is compelling, both beautiful and tragic - but it keeps me to my purpose.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04256/377724.stm

[LiberalVoice]

5. I remember reading that a little while back.

Have you heard anything new about her condition or anything?

[PittLib]

6. No, not yet ...

but I'm keeping my eye on it! I'll let y'all know if I hear anything.

[merh]

13. What has happened to this couple since this publication?

Any updates?

[PittLib]

21. If I don't hear something soon ...

I'll contact the paper about a follow up. I'm eager to know myself!

[merh]

22. My prayers go out to them.

Thank you for the link - :hi:

[klook]

18. Deeply touching story

Yes, this is a sad story, but also one so full of hope, because the power of love shines all the way through it. The young woman struggling with her illness; the young man who loves her traveling across the world to be with her--and to marry her in an act of death-defying love; his father performing the marriage ceremony, in the New Hope church no less, and on September 11, no less; the groom's fellow soldiers donating their leave time to give him the chance to go home and see his dying sweetheart.

These young people have such a lot of heart, even in spite of (or because of?) the most severe difficulties, it's truly inspiring to me. Thanks for posting this.

[PittLib]

20. Absolutely ...

I found it put a lot in perspective for me. :hi:

[realFedUp]

7. We've been fed so much bullshit for so long....

and the people we depend on to separate
the facts from the bullshit are
owned and managed by the corporate heads
who want a complacent and stupid populace.

Feel glad you are aware of the facts
and are working to have them come to light.

You are a daughter of Liberty.

[Steely_Dan]

8. Actually

Actually...I'm a guy...
I know...not sure what my mom was thinking.

-Paige

[realFedUp]

9. You are a son of Liberty

sorry...I like the name :-)

[Steely_Dan]

11. Thanks...

[movie_girl99]

15. my name is

Paige as well. I love my name now but hated it as a kid.:)

[Steely_Dan]

16. Cool...

It's sort of an unusual name. It's particularly unusual for someone like me who is male. I must say that at times, it has allowed me to see into the difficulties faced by women...

Most of my junk mail comes in addressed with a "Ms." before my name.

I usually wrap all of that mail up and forward it to my mom...

-Paige

[merh]

14. Please know that many of us cry

and we are trying to slay the dragon too! You are not alone.

:grouphug:

[Steely_Dan]

17. I Didn't Realize...

...that others felt as emotional over this issue(s) as I do. I'm glad to know that I am not alone.

-Paige

[proud patriot]

19. You are not alone we each continue to slay when another needs rest

There is no Rest for the dragon and we shall WIN .

[merh]

23. Sometimes I wonder where I get the tears ...

for all I have shed over the last 3 plus years, I should be all dried up, but they continue to come!

You are not alone and DU does help. Welcome to DU :hi:

Thank you for caring and sharing! Your post was well written and heart felt.