George W. Bush* is "Snake-Bit" - Democratic Underground

Jacobin

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Sun Aug-17-03 08:58 AM
Original message

George W. Bush* is "Snake-Bit"

Edited on Sun Aug-17-03 09:45 AM by Jacobin

The proposed meme in the form of widely circulated email:
______________________________________________________________________
During the Mr. Bush's reign, just about everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong, to-wit:

1. A U.S. spy plane flying near China has a mid-air collision with a Chinese MIG, and a dozen American's are held captive until Mr. Bush goes on TV and issues a groveling apology to the Chinese. Our spy plane is chopped up and shipped home in a Russian transport plane.

2. Almost simultaneous with his inauguration, the stock market begins a plunge which wipes out $8 Trillion in stockholder wealth.

3. Despite a Keynsian round of tax cuts of historic proportions and the lowest interest rates in 45 years, the economy refuses to re-bound and unemployment reverts to highs not seen since GHWB.

4. Home foreclosures are at a 30 year high, despite low interest rates.

5. Personal bankruptcies are at an all-time historic high.

6. Three of the largest corporate bankruptcies and corporate corruption reminiscent of Al Capone's days have shaken the foundation of the financial markets, leading to the biggest outflow of investment in the markets in history.

7. A joyriding U.S. naval nuclear submarine commanded by an experienced captain does a blast surfacing maneouver in the waters around Hawaii and sinks a Japanese fishing boat training high school students, drowning eight people and creating an international incident.

8. The most destructive and humiliating attack by a foreign power on our soil since the British in 1812 takes place on 9/11, despite clear warning from numerous sources which could have prevented the attacks.

9. Despite the deployment of tens of thousands of troops and billions of dollars in military expenditures, we invade Afghanistan in retaliation and still have no idea where Mr. bin Laden is, although he remains alive to taunt us with his taped messages from time to time.

10. Mr. Bush cannot make his case to the United Nations that Iraq is a threat serious enough to justify pre-emptive military intervention, taunts, threatens and harasses our Eurpopean allies to the breaking point, invades Iraq anyway, and creates a quagmire costly in funds and human life from which there is no end in sight. Despite detailed pronouncements about vast stores of chemical and biological weapons, they do not exist and the U.S. is further humiliated and isolated as a conquering rogue nation with no credibility. Saddam Hussein is nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, North Korea builds nuclear weapons with abandon and openly threatens to sell them around the world.

11. Another space shuttle burns up spectacularly over Mr. Bush's ranch, killing all aboard and leaving american astronauts stranded on the space station.

12. The largest electrical blackout of all times, anywhere in the world takes place on a day without extraordinary electrical demand, all while Mr. Bush and his administration have pretensions of being the "energy experts"

13. The United States has the largest budget deficit in its history and there is no end in sight to spiraling deficits, which threaten to spike interest rates and further strangle any possible economic recovery.

14. A president of the United States, while watching a football game in the White House, chokes on a pretzel, passes out and bangs his head on a table. He is roused from his stupor by the Secret Service before he succumbs to the pretzel lodged in his throat.

15. During a time of dire threats from terrorists abroad, he allows Congress to cut billions from the Veterans Administration. It now takes more than a year for a veteran of the United States military to get an appointment with a VA doctor. The Pentagon announces a pay cut to soldiers in the field in Iraq who are being shot at ever day, but after outrage from military families, they back off the proposal. Because military suppliers have been privatized, 150,000 troops living in 120 degree heat in Iraq are limited to 2 liters of water per day and because of severe dehydration, many become ill with a rare form of pneumonia and die.

We can't afford four more years of Mr. Bush. Can't the Republican party come up with a new candidate in 2004?
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It goes without saying that the reasons for the above conflagrations can be traced to the idiotic ideologies and PNAC policies of the dingbat who stole the WH. However, due in large part to the coddling and covering of the media, no blame for the disasters is ever attached to Smirk. He has dozens of full time spinners employed to justify/explainaway/blameClinton, etc for the screw ups.

However, it is undeniable that the above things have actually occurred. Rather than trying to make his misdeeds stick to him for his policy missteps, let's appeal to the superstitious nature of his gawd-fearing base, and suggest that Smirk has a hex! He's just snake-bit, in the parlance of his followers.

Any suggestions for additions to the litany of screw-ups?

edited to add submarine, VA cuts, pretzel