The normal population of Crawford is only 631 people. When President Bush comes to town, that number increases ten-fold, as thousands of arrogant Jewish journalists arrive to shamelessly broadcast liberal lies – often straight from the President's own front lawn!
There is no naturally occurring surface water in Crawford. President Bush remedied this small oversight by God in 2001, with the construction of his strictly private 375 million gallon gamefishing and cigarette boat racing lake.
The temperature in Crawford on an average summer day is 112 degrees Fahrenheit. No Siesta-taking lazy Mexican he – President Bush routinely runs multiple sub-seven-minute miles under these punishing conditions.
Ever attentive to the transportation needs of the President, his guests, and servants, Hertz Rent-a-Car of Crawford maintains a gleaming, dedicated fleet of Hummer Limousines, Ford Excursions, and ringworm-infested burros for their respective use.
Crawford's official motto is "1295 miles from Washington DC, 97% White, and ARMED TO THE TEETH!"
http://www.westernwhitehouse.org/