Most idiotic phrases today (which explains our descent into mediocrity)

[historian]

Friendly fire - being shot by your own is all right?
the more you spend the more you save??? Have to re read my economic theories
Have bushy eyebrows? Take brows inex and reduce them (can cause liver failure, heart failure, stroke, cancer of the genitals - ask your doctor)
(mostly heard in target stores) customers are now guests. funny ive never received an invitation. dont they like me?
thanks for calling upyours corp - our menu has changed press this press that if you are calling for zit cleaning press if the zit is your own press 1 if its your grandmothers press 3 - our next zit associate will answer as soon as possible (3 hours later) thank you for holding your call is very important and we value you as a customer (click)
Buy two get one free. Can i have the free one now and buy the other tomorrow?
(after paying for groceries) How did you find everything? I followed the signs - is there an easier way?
Hi! same grocery store (with bright comatose look in eyes) - you are? isnt that illegal?
At the return desk - do you want to return this? No i think ill hold on to it - it doesnt work anyway.
How can i help you?I dont know - what are you good at?
Enjoy your shopping "experience"? no comment on that idiotic remark.
(standing at the end of a line 40 people deep) Is this the line? No we are waiting for the next ufo
And so on