2004 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

[Jmeyers130]

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell.

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance.

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment).

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing.

6:46 PM Seminar #1 "Getting your kid a military deferment".

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong.

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries.

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next.

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh.

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children.

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only).

8:50 PM Seminar #2 "Corporations: The government of the future".

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' that Man".

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong.

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires.

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings.

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas.

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy.

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho.

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt.

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans.

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong.

10:50 PM Seminar #3 "Education: a drain on our nation's economy".

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata.

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous
new cult.

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM Blame Clinton.

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies.

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself.

12:00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord.

[CO Liberal]

1. Duplicate

I poasted this in the DU Lounge this morning - here's a link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=1192922&mesg_id=1192922

[skooooo]

2. This thing has been posted a million times.

...no offence, but I'm sick of seeing it!

:-)