early copy of 2004 Republican National Committee Convention Schedule

[sundancekid]

2004 Republican National Committee Convention Schedule (New York, NY)

6:30 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
6:33 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Snack Service: Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner now
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations -- The government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings: "Can't Help Lovin'Dat Man o'Mine"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees -- The real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak Made Easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demo of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demo of new, mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education-- a drain on our nation's economy
11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Pinata Fest
11:20 PM 2nd Ashcroft Lecture: Evolution -- The dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton for anything that's done/went wrong
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12: 00PM Nomination

[DebJ]

1. that's great! Thanks!