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August 5, 2004
A Nation Divided: Bush Clings To Narrowest Of Leads As The Country Ponders The Presidency
John L. Lockstep
A recent CNN/Gallup Poll Showed today the President Bush is still clinging to a narrow lead Over Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry. The Poll, which shows Bush leading 31%-30% comes at a critical moment on the campaign trail for the President. In a little over three weeks he will be delivering his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention in New York City, in an effort to finally break the division over whether he should serve another four years as President.
"We're obviously concerned", said an unidentified White House Aide earlier this week, "but the President has stayed on message and has maintained steady leadership through such a difficult period. There is no question in our minds he is going to win comfortably."
F. Reich Rigger, President of the CNN/Gallup Polling Action Group Re-elect At Any Cost Totalitarians (REAACT) said that it is becoming more challenging to manipulate it's Polling Data in favor of the President than in the past. "People are starting to catch on." He said. "A lot of the people we have counted on in the past to give a positive tilt for the President aren't answering our calls anymore. It's beginning to get a little challenging to find people who will tow the line, but the President still has a strong, gullible base, so we aren't panicking yet." When asked why the numbers for Bush/Kerry remain in a dead heat, but the percentage quoted keeps getting smaller, he said "I think that just reflects the polarization of the country right now. Sure 39% Undecided seems like a little much, but I think you have to take into account we are at a unique turning point in history. There are a lot of Fence Sitters out there."
There is also a lot of concern because of the close race. "You have a lot of people worried about a repeat of 2000", says Wally O' Dell, Chairman of Diebold Election Systems. "People want to know their vote is going to count, and that's why I think it's important for them for us to get the Electronic Voting Machines in place across the country, so people can be sure their votes will be counted accurately. No one wants to go though the 2000 debacle again. We are the most technologically advanced nation on the planet. We should use it to advance our democracy."
Ironically, Beverly Harris, the Seattle Journalist who many Democrats see as a hero for her role in bringing the Electronic Voting Controversy to light, disagrees profoundly. "This is going to be a disaster. With all the evidence that has come out about the inaccurate and fraudulent nature of these machines, to put our democracy and the most important right we have as citizens solely in the hands of electronic voting is nothing short of insanity. It's frustrating to me that even though we have made progress on this issue, Congress is still not going to address any of the problems until AFTER the Election in November. Why not address them NOW? With one of the most important and decisive Elections in our history right around the corner, why is there no urgency to address these issues NOW? What does this say about the concern our leaders have for guaranteeing our votes will be counted accurately? In my opinion, we are headed down a very dark path, and it may cost us dearly. This could go from "Rob Georgia" to "Rob America". We MUST act NOW."
Even with all the uncertainty, division, and controversy that seems to be in the air though, President Bush still has managed to maintain a surprisingly strong Resiliency amongst voters. It has been puzzling for some that despite having an 8% Job Approval Rating that he could still be leading in the Polls, but even though he has the lowest Job Approval Rating of any President in history, he seems to get by because most still see him as "likable", and an "honest, compassionate leader who really shows concerns for the nations problems, and someone they can relate to personally." Most of those who polled in support of him still believe he is a "strong leader."
And it resonates strongly with some Supporters. "Heck, I've been unemployed for four years and can barely keep my family fed, these are hard times", says Freep Oglethorpe of Livingston, Texas. "But I can't blame that on the President. This is just a bump in the road and I know things will get better. We need a strong leader for times like this, and he's got my support." I. Emma Sheep of Toledo, Ohio said "He's a good Christian Man with good Christian values. He wants to protect us from the evil that is trying to destroy us, and that makes me feel safe. We all want to feel safe, and President Bush makes me feel safe. We have to be United as a country and stand up to these people. And that's just what he's done. He's got my vote."
Although it has appeared at times that the wheels might come off for Bush this year, it seems that he always gets a lift at a critical moment, right when he needs it. Such a moment came back in May, when allegations of torture and abuse of Iraqi Prisoners by US Soldiers were running rampant, and many members of Bush's cabinet were running out of excuses. But a video released by members of the Terrorist group Al Qaida, showing the decapitation of Neil Berg, an American Citizen who was kidnapped while in Iraq, served for many as a wake up call and a reminder of what Bush called "The Dangers That Still Face us."
Former Secretary Of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, who resigned in Early June because of "Health Concerns" jokingly commented yesterday about the Teflon nature of the President and the relationship to Al Qaida. "There is no question they have been very helpful to our cause", he said. "It is kind of strange that whenever the American People begin to lose faith in the job the President is doing, that Al Qaida always seems to pull something to get everyone to fall back in line behind him again. It doesn't serve their cause very well, but it strengthens ours immensely. In a way, they have been our greatest asset."
And what of the President himself? He seems to take it all in stride. When asked if his astoundingly low Job Approval Rating concerned him, he gently laughed it off. "I don't live by polls", he said, lounging in his $6,000,000 campaign bus, which just had solid gold rims installed this week for a campaign swing through Ohio. "When you are faced with the kind of challenges our country is facing, we shouldn't let a focus group decide the path we take.
When asked about how the death toll in Iraq, which just passed 1000 this week, would affect his candidacy, he said, "I'm grateful to all who have sacrificed to make this country safer and to make the world safer. I think the American People realize it's a dangerous world, and there are many sacrifices still ahead. But we are making progress and we will not relent. We will not back down from our enemies, and they should never misuderestimate our resolve. We've taken down one dictator that made his people live in fear and threatened the rest of the world. And that should put the rest on notice. We will never sleep until justice is done."
On the division of the country's political landscape: "This is a great country. It's great to live in a country where we are free to express our opinions and differences. I think people know who I am and the job I've done, and they know it speaks for itself. I think the people will look at the two candidates and see who can maintain a strong steady leadership in this time of war. I'm looking forward to serving the American people again."
When asked how he would feel if the people chose John Kerry instead, he said simply "I Won't lose."
And when asked to reflect back on his Presidency, if there was anything he would do differently, his answer was short and simple, the kind of firm and fun directness we have come to expect from him.
"Overall, it's been a fabulous four years for Laura and Me."
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The above was satire and purely fictional. No reality was harmed in the making of this satire.
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