REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

[guitar man]

I thought a little humor break might be in order. Wait....is this humor or the real schedule? Actually, it's kind of hard to tell. :evilgrin:
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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak Made Easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on Our nation's Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft, Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12: 00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[heidiho]

1. How did you get the schedule so quickly??? LOL

Sadly, this really IS their agenda. Thanks for the laugh today in a day of no laughs.

[underpants]

2. Only 1 minute for Clarence to read the list of Black Republicans?

Why that doesn't sound like it would be long enough.

[Misunderestimator]

3. I think it must be excluding the Gay Black republicans.... n/t

[guitar man]

5. Well

y'know, Clarence IS one fast talker!

[goclark]

4. Love It!

It really is the Agenda that they would have if it could be held in secret.

They would also have a Porn After Party featuring the video " Debbie Does New York" that would be well attended.

Their Agenda is wonderful and gets all of their evil ways out there.

[redwitch]

6. almost entirely believable

except Jesus wouldn't go near the place except to smite a few of them. Rev. Falwell especially!

[LibertyorDeath]

7. LOL

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft, Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult

:)

Thanks for the laughs

[Kukesa]

8. The Hillary Pinata Gets 10 minutes?

Surely, they can smash her to bits in less time.

[beyurslf]

9. I am disappointed they have only 1 seminar on blaming Clinton.

Why sell themselves short. He is good to blame for just about everything. A day long session is needed on this topic. Why they miss opportunites all the time to blame him. Gas prices are high and I haven't heard anyone explain why Clinton is to blame (but you know he is).