My Dad's Wishes

[RC]

What is so wrong with this?
He is in a home now, unable to care for himself.
What is so wrong with dying in relative comfort when your time comes? His mind is still good now, even if not much else is.

[Jane Austin]

1. Nothing.

n/t

[justjones]

2. Nothing is wrong with it.

Who says it's wrong?

My mother made it clear she wanted to stay home when she was in the last stages of cancer. Unfortunately, she refused pain medication because it made her extremely nauseated...however, we honored and respected her wishes. She died peacefully in her sleep with dignity and with her family surrounding her.

It isn't about anyone else but the person who is ill, so who cares what they think.

[whistle]

3. This looks like a Living Will...

...and it allows those who are dying to choose the way they are to die with dignity and as comfortable as they wish to be with minimal suffering. My prayers are with your dad, with you and with your family.

[ezee]

4. I agree with this

and I have the same desire. I have a terminal illness and have less than 5yrs, according to the Dr's. I have written such a document and have filed it with my attorney and care givers.
I (Or the person) ALONE have the right to do as I wish and no one has the right to deny me the right of a dignified end to my life.

[VolcanoJen]

5. Nothing is wrong with it, RC. Nothing at all.

:grouphug:

[Robbien]

6. My mom signed one of those.

And for several months kept indicating she wanted to keep going, so we told the staff and they kept her with us. When it was right she said it was time.

It made the end easier for everyone.

This is a right thing to do.

[MI Cherie]

7. Your father has given you a thoughtful, wonderful gift.

I wish my father and I had at least discussed it.

He needed emergency surgery and was in the ICU a few days when he suffered a set back. A doctor talked to me about “quality of life” concerns, but I was numb.

I felt so alone. My Mom passed away several years earlier, as had my only older brother. We hadn’t talked about “it” and I couldn’t say the words: “Let him go comfortably.”

After another surgery, I learned he had to be revived. I felt both relieved and guilty. Weeks later, he was transferred to an acute care facility over an hour away.

He started making progress; he was breathing on his own within a week and sitting up. Alert and feisty as ever! I found a sub-acute care facility a mile from our house.

One day, when my husband and kids came with me, he didn’t recognize them. He called me Jean (his sister who had passed away many years ago) and kept asking for his brother (who had died before I was born.)

The last time I saw him, he only called me Jean. I got the “phone call” early the next morning. He’d had another heart attack.

Because they failed to get "it" in writing, he was on life support. I was forced to drive halfway across the state to a strange hospital to sign the papers to let him go.

Knowing your father's wishes ahead of time is not wrong. When the time comes, you'll be able to do what's right.

[Spirochete]

8. Nothing wrong with it

my mother had the same thing, a paper saying she wanted no life support, wanted hospice care, etc. She just wanted to die as comfortably as possible at home, and she did.