The "OFFICIAL" Bush/Cheney 9-11 Testimony Thread!

[Brotherjohn]

(from the fly on the wall; please feel free to translate the fly's communique's as they come in, as I just can't keep up)

GORELICK: "Mr. Cheney, in the interest of protecting the chain of command against a potential terrorist attack during these important proceedings, the Department of Homeland Security has asked that you please put this piece of duct tape over your mouth."

BUSH (?): "You cnt spk to my vss-prssdnt tht wey!!"

GORELICK: "Mr. Cheney, why is your mouth moving?"

BUSH: "They hate freedom! Darned evil-doers and suiciders!!"

GORELICK: "The question was directed at the Vice President, Mr. President. We'll get to you soon enough!"

BUSH: "I thought you were my friend! I thought you were my friend!" *WHRRR*... "I thought you were my friend!" *CLICK*--*POP*--*WHRRR*...

[Sparkly]

1. haha

GORELICK: Could we have Mr. Cheney drink a glass of water while the president answers the next question?

[apnu]

2. continuing...

BUSH: "What are you doing Dick?

CHENEY: "Nothing George..."

BUSH: "Would you like to hear a song, Dick?"

CHENEY: "Yes George, I'd like that."

BUSH: "Daisy, Daisy, I'm just crazy all for the love of you..."

GORELICK: "..."

[underpants]

3. He probably looks somehting like this by now

[lovedems]

4. I envision it something like this

I think it would be like watching a third base coach in a baseball game with all the hand signals.

If Cheney pulls his ear, * is to give this canned response, "It was Clinton's fault"

If Cheney touches his belt, ..."It was Clinton's fault"

If Cheney scratches his head, "It was Jamie Goerelik's (sp) fault"

If Cheney wipes his nose, "It was Janet Reno's fault"

I could go on and on but I envision Cheney as that third base coach with all his hand signals.

[wtmusic]

5. CHENEY: (drinks glass of water)...

BUSH: (lips moving, voice mysteriously stops) :silly:

[goclark]

6. BV: Let's Talk About Goats Mr. Pres

Ben V: Let's talk about the 9/11 timeline while you were sitting in a classroom listening to lovely children read! Why was your a** stuck to the chair? Why did you look like you just had your 5th Bud Light?

WHO WAS LEADING THIS COUNTRY WHILE YOU SAT????

:mad:

[Sparkly]

7. Chimp replies

Nobody told me to DO anything.

[underpants]

8. Uh (looks to Cheney) uh ...Richard Clarke

Whomp whomp whomp Cheney starts smacking him with rolled up August 6th PDB

[Brotherjohn]

9. "...with rolled up August 6th PDB". Now THAT's reporting! Nice detail!

[underpants]

10. I done bad huh Unka Dick?

[goclark]

11. I hope he has Extra Thick Pampers on n/t

[peekaloo]

12. after conferring with their legal counsel

Boo$h pleaded the fifth commandment }( and Cheney began ranting about Kerry.