Let's Pretend we're Members of the White House Press Corps.

[VolcanoJen]

It's pushin' 9:00 EDT, and Chimpy wraps up his "It's not our fault, war on terra, God bless me, they hate us for our freedom, blah, blah blah" statement, and then opens the floor for questioning. He scans the room, wild-eyed, and can't seem to find Brit Hume, who has stepped out to comb his hair. In a moment of desperation, Chimpy calls on you.

What do you ask??

VolcanoJen: "Mr. President. Please define and clarify the governing entity we are turning Iraq over to on June 30, 2004. I will require a follow-up."

[tom_paine]

1. First I gotta get into character...

<deleting integrity>

<deleting conscience>

<deleting work ethic, replacing with Sound Byte Laziness>

<ramping up Fear of Job...I'm famous and oh so smart...if I lose this and stopbeing on TV, I'll just be a fat slob like the rest of those fat slobs I tell what to think every night>

<I CAN'T lose this job...what, will I become so stupid then and so low, being unfamous, that someone will have to tell ME what to think???>

<if I piss off the Imperial Family, they'll kill me professionally or worse, they'll deny me access and then what reason have my employers to keep me around anymore?>

OK, I'm ready.

My question:

"Is it true, pResident Bush, that you did EVERYTHING you could to stop 9/11 and that you would have done more if only the Democrats and Clinton hadn't stopped you?"

=====================================================

Wow, that worked well! I sounded EXACTLY like a Bloated Pravda Whore, don't you think?

[VolcanoJen]

6. awwww crap, Tom_Paine.

I should have written in a pre-qualification that in order to submit your question, one must imagine oneself to be a young, hungry, recent journalism-school grad, pissed off about the Jayson Blair scandal, and angry at the ever-growing cynicism aimed at political media bias. You watched Chimpy squirm during that painful hour of Russert, and you smell blood. You're also weary of stringing for the AP, and you want a phat desk-jockey political-pundit job at one of the major cables. You're not afraid of being called a pinko-commie. You want the President to squirm under your questioning, and thereby make a name for yourself.

:D

It would be fun if you could try it again, imagining yourself to be a young turk. :D

[qanda]

25. Don't forget to ask him if his knees are sore

Because of all the time he spends on them praying. Courtesy of April our sister in the struggle.

On Edit: I'm trying not to use that "w" word.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

36. Whoa I thought you were gonna say

from spending all that time on his knees doing something else!!!

BTW, they are discussing the news conference on Cooper Anderson right now.

[VolcanoJen]

44. What is that"Young God of Youth Culture" Cooper Anderson saying, Moonbeam?

n/t :D

[arcane1]

2. I'm still wondering WTF a "disarmed country looks like"

Mr. President, I mean "sir", on February 10, 2003 you made the following statement:

"Iraq needs to disarm. And the reason why we even need to fly U-2 flights is because they're not disarming. We know what a disarmed country looks like. And Iraq doesn't look like that."


Could you please, for the American people, give us even one mere example, in your own words, of how Iraq does not "look" disarmed, and perhaps a good example of what a disarmed country should look like?

And as a follow-up if I may, sir, is it your opinion that Iraq does indeed look disarmed now?

[mtnester]

5. Ooooh God his head would spin off

nt

[VolcanoJen]

8. "I'm the Commander-in-Chief, SEE? I don't have to 'splain myself."

Can't wait for your follow-up, arcane1. :D

[arcane1]

14. allow me to follow up if I may..

sir...

On July 14, 2003, you made the following statement alongside Kofi Annan:

"The larger point is, and the fundamental question is, did Saddam Hussein have a weapons program? And the answer is, absolutely. And we gave him a chance to allow the inspectors in, and he wouldn't let them in. And, therefore, after a reasonable request, we decided to remove him from power..."


Sir, were you or were you now aware that inspectors had been in Iraq for over a decade at the time you made this comment?

[VolcanoJen]

18. "Saddam Hussein hated America. The insurgents hate us for our freedom."

"Would you be happier if Saddam Hussein were still in power? I'm praying for the repose of your soul."

It's not really that much fun playing Bush, I might add...

[Brotherjohn]

3. Mr. President. The 8-6-01 PDB as released by the WH was 1.5 pp long.

Yet in an article published in 2002, reference was made to this briefing being 11 and a half pages long, specifically noting that this was longer than the usual 2-3 pages. This article had the title of the PDB exactly right, so one could assume the source had seen the PDB. In addition, Gov. Roemer from the 9-11 Commission has made reference to these memos being some 11-12 pages long, when discussing the possibility of the PDB of 8-6-01 being released in its entirety.

My question is: Was the PDB of 8-6-01 as released by the White House the entire document, or were one or more pages removed from it before declassifying it?

[MessiahRp]

4. Okay I'll play...

Press: "Why does the President constantly say there wasn't enough info in the August 6, 2001 PDB when it clearly states Osama Bin Laden's intentions, the way they may be aiming to strike, and the buildings they were scoping out..."

WH Press Corps: "There was not enough information because nobody drew a picture with crayons that showed a plane flying into a building."

Press: "Crayons?!? Are you kidding me?"

WH Press Corps: "Okay fine, we would have accepted an Etch-a-Sketch drawing as well. Since nobody gave that to us, this was just not a clear enough message."

Rp

[nostamj]

7. "Are you wearing a tie?"

Follow up: Made you look, made you look!

[displacedtexan]

9. First of all, Mr. President, we're all praying for you.

Secondly, is there any single issue more important to you than having God grant you a second term in office, thereby proving to your father, once and for all, that you are not a total loser?

[VolcanoJen]

11. LOVE the "First of all" question!

:D That oughta get a smirk out of him...

[Failure]

10. Press Corps Questions

"Mr. President, did the Easter Bunny bring you lots of candy?"

[seabeyond]

12. do you accept responsibility for anything

that happens sir...........oh i mean president bush, sir

give us just one thing you own, and dont blame on someone else


this was a caller on the ed shultz show

[freeminder]

13. Sir, would you agree that a mission that kills 80 soldiers in one month,

an -unidentified- number of contractors (security guards) and a very high number of Iraqi's, cannot be called accomplished and would you still call it that today like you did before?

Follow-up: Given the recent dramatic increase in hostility towards us in Iraq, could you explain to the american public the different factions in Iraq with their main representatives including who will be on the governing council, so that we understand why the mission is getting less accomplished by the day?

And pure dreaming : Sir, if the previous question is too hard, you can skip it and instead clarify which US firms are working on the reconstruction of Iraq, and which ties they had to your Selection campaign and your administration.

[VolcanoJen]

21. Your "pure dreaming" question is especially awesome, freeminder!

:D

[freeminder]

33. thanks! I am bracing for disappointment though.

I think a really easy (so he understands) and extremely brutal question may slice through the limited thought processes and the earpiece feedback circuit hard enough so that he would snap. try to get the gut reaction and all...

But such a question would be preceded by hordes of flying pigs, I guess.

I'd flash my tits too if it helps!

[VolcanoJen]

35. We'd ALL flash our tits if we thought it would make a difference.

Too easy for the President. It's time to rake him over the coals of public dissent.

I can't wait until 8:30 pm EDT!

[freeminder]

40. "I can't wait until 8:30 pm EDT!" - well, neither can I unless...

...I go insomniac again and go to work all redeyed. It'll be 2.30 AM for me over here. :o

Still, these occasions are so rare I think I am gonna stay the course tonite. If ever there was enough momentum for a serious question it has to be today.

Unbelievable what it takes to have your CIC answer questions.

[freeminder]

15. Sir, can you give us an update on the reason you gave

to throw the UN out of the window and invade Iraq unilaterally, namely

Weapons of mass destruction.

Where are they?

[bacchant]

16. Ok

ZZZzzzz...

[VolcanoJen]

17. Sir... in May of 2003, you affirmed that "We have found WMD in Iraq."

"Why, Mr. President, sir, did you insist, in late May, 2003, that weapons of mass destruction had indeed been found? I refer you to your quote to Polish television, recounted in this USA Today article:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2003-05-31-wmd-iraq_x.htm

"We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories," Bush told Polish television. "They're illegal. They're against the United Nations resolutions, and we've so far discovered two.

"And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them," Bush said."

David Kay has since reported that you have not found banned weapons. Mr. President, given that you've read the results of David Kay's report, will you now take this opportunity to clarify your statement? Have we indeed found the manufacturing devices and/or banned weapons, as you insisted in May?

[arcane1]

19. good one!

I don't know which is scarier- your accurate press impression, or your frighteningly accurate Bush impression! :scared:

[VolcanoJen]

23. Unfortunately, My Bush Impression is based on REALITY, wherein...

... my Press Impression is based upon fantasy, and wishful thinking as a citizen.. :-(

[arcane1]

27. sad but true...

fine job though. Are you running for president anytime soon? :)

[VolcanoJen]

29. Maybe I should. It doesn't seem especially difficult.

I'm still waiting for a Great American Leader, as I was duly promised as a pledge-sayin' student in America...

[arcane1]

32. broken promises...

are an American tradition :(

you have my vote

[Paragon]

20. Only if I get to be "Stretch".

I get hard when he calls me "Super-Stretch". :silly:

[doni_georgia]

22. Here's mine

Mr. President, what exactly is your exit strategy for Iraq? When we entered the country, you said it was to unarm this nation of its weapons of mass destruction and to get rid of Saddam. Sir, Sadaam has been captured, and we now know there were no weapons of mass destruction. Is there another as yet unspoken agenda to carry out in this nation?

[VolcanoJen]

28. EXIT STRATEGY!!! That will be the KEY question tonight.

Should be interesting... if any WH press corps member dare...

[freeminder]

31. exit strategy? hah!

well umm
We will stay the course in Iraq because we must continue the process of liberation. Nobody can argue that democrazy is better than evildoers, so it is clear we cannot give up now. Being strong in the face of grave danger is what made this country great, and it's what I always ask of my countrymen when I'm vacationing at my ranch when I wasn't warned, so stop saying that.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

24. Mr President...does Laura know about Victor Ashe?

[VolcanoJen]

34. Wouldn't that blow your mind, NSMA?

Can you imagine...?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

38. hehe...evil! Ain't I?

[VolcanoJen]

41. And why, precisely, are you NOT a member of the White House Press Corps?

NSMA?

:tinfoilhat:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

42. Cause they don't make kneepads in my style

[VolcanoJen]

43. I just *knew* you were gonna say that.

Not too shabby, spin-wise!!!

:tinfoilhat:

[justjones]

26. Mr. President....

Can you explain to the American public why you feel justified in taking a vacation at your Texas ranch amidst the escalation of violence in Iraq since you asserted "Mission Accomplished"?

While you were giving a tour of your ranch to the NRA, did you even once think about the rising number of casualties amongst our troops?

If there is a draft, will you offer up your twins?

We sympathize with your speech impediment, but we must clarify whether you misspoke when you called yourself a "War" President. Did you really mean "Whore" President?

[VolcanoJen]

30. Well, I will literally flash my boobs to anyone who wants to see them...

... if someone in the press corps has the BALLS to ask that question.

Hell, I'll even flash 'em to Michael Powell. He appears especially desperate and sexually frustrated.

Picking on presidential vacations has always been dangerous, and therefore ignored, territory by the press corps in the past. However, it's a whole new ball game of context now, and it will be interesting to see if they respond...

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

37. Here's mine and it's REAL simple

Mr. President (do I REALLY have to call him that???), how many more soldiers have to die?

Follow-up: how many more Iraqis have to die?

That will be all.

[VolcanoJen]

39. How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?

Excellent question... if only Kerry hadn't voted for IWR.

[Thor_MN]

45. OK, my turn

Thank you. Listen, Dipshit, does it REALLY matter what they were going to do with the hijacked planes? Wouldn't the general idea of STOPPING them from hijacking the planes be a good course?

[VolcanoJen]

46. Good question, and GOOD LUCK having it answered, Thor! (n/m

}(