I meet Sean Hannity Thursday, in Detroit. Any messages I can convey?

[Faygo Kid]

Yes, I will be at WJR radio on business on Thursday in Detroit ("The Great Voice of the Great Lakes"), and they are trying to get my business. It really is a coincidence, but Sean Hannity will broadcast live from WJR for his show Thursday - and they are eager for me to meet him. I myself was tongue-tied about this, but guess I'm stuck now. Please don't give me the obvious. How should I handle this, and what should I say? Need your very best. Maybe I can get you an autograph out of this, for your most pungent and sardonic suggestion.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

1. If you're there on business, can you risk being rude to him?

Or would you lose the account?

[Faygo Kid]

3. No account to lose. They want my business.

Makes it a lot more fun, doesn't it? This is really weird. He is a youngster to me; help, DUers!

[Vickers]

11. Ask him to autograph a book for you...

...and then hand him "Dude, Where's My Country?"

[Manix]

13. oh hell!......grab him by the marble bag.

[Ladyhawk]

2. But, but, but...the obvious would just be so much more FUN.

Never mind...

[I Lean Left]

4. Is this one of those 'If you had met Hitler...

n/t

[htuttle]

5. Make sure there are no witnesses

Then tackle him and scream into his face,

"WHAT'S THE FREQENCY KENNETH?"

Then dash off.

If he tells anyone about it, they'll think he's crazy.

Wait. Nevermind, I think someone already did this one.

[masshole]

8. lmao!

post of the day :toast:

[PaDUer]

9. What does that mean? n/t

[htuttle]

22. I have (or 'had') a theory...

...that when Dan Rather said that very thing happened to him, that it was a right-winger who had done it to mess with his head/trying to psych him out sort of thing.

(this just in...)

But I might be wrong after all. I just googled it looking for the date, and found a more current E! article about it. Turns out the guy was, well, nuts, and is currently serving a term for murdering an NBC stagehand. Apparently, this fellow had been under the impression that the television news channels were beaming signals into his head, and thus was asking Rather what the frequency of these broadcasts was.

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,613,00.html

Whatta ya know.

[PaDUer]

48. Thanks...

must've been a freeper..lol

[Vickers]

24. It happened to Dan Rather

and he reported it.

[qanda]

29. I just got off the floor and my side hurts...

I was laughing so hard. That is funny!

[indigo32]

61. ROTFLMAO

eom

[wtmusic]

6. Sean Hannity's autograph?

Ask him if he would debate Al Franken one-on-one (he can keep his autograph).

[eleny]

7. What an opportunity

I'm tongue tied myself. But there has to be something short and sweet you can say. Nice that he's younger as then you command his respect.

[Carni]

10. Tell him your a freeper

And see if he bites...ask him if he is one, be sure to take notes!

[radiclib]

12. How about

"Holy crap, you look just like that moron on TV!"

[Carni]

14. That's good lol

[Droopy]

15. How about this

"Mr. Hannity, I'm a die-hard Democrat. I agree with absolutely nothing that you have to say about politics. Furthermore, I think that you should take that microphone that you spew crap into every day and SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS!"

I know, not very helpful. But I couldn't resist.

[m-jean03]

32. I vote for this one!

LMAO.

[linazelle]

68. Rehearse this line please!

:evilgrin:

[TankLV]

75. I like it too!

nt

[dogman]

16. First tell me.

Do you have bail money?

[Faygo Kid]

17. WHERE are my clever DUers? I am not kidding here.

Sorry, Moderators, about the caps, but this is real, and I want some advice from all the DUers I so very much respect. Got to go to bed soon, too!

[eleny]

35. First off

I would have my hands in my pockets. When he approaches to glad hand you, I'd refrain from the hand shake and just shrug it off. You don't have to say a thing, but it conveys so much. And if he doesn't try to shake hands, just shrug at him when he greets you. Same thing. As if to say "hrumph".

At least you have something in case you get tongue tied. Remember, he isn't worthy to know you.

[Faygo Kid]

57. That's no fun. How would Michael Moore handle it?

Look, I am no lightweight here (actually, need to lose 60 pounds. Badump). He is richer than Croesus; doesn't give a damn about me. How can I have some fun with this? Life is too short.

[pfitz59]

79. Shake his hand.......

But put something warm and squishy on yours first!

[KC21304]

37. How much do you have to pay Alan Colmes to be your stooge ?

Why is Fox scared to put a real liberal against you ?

[KharmaTrain]

44. Play Hard-To-Get

From one that knows the sale of advertising time trumps the visit of even the most famous dittohead. Wanna bet you'll be wined, dined and 69'd by the AE who just sees you as his quota and a commission check and Hannity as "something to sell"...you're in the driver's seat my friend.

Now you can play it a couple ways. There's the "show me how much you want to fuck me" approach...be sure not to sign anything and talk about how eager you are to buy spots, but just not sure when and where and how much. Watch the sales person dance through hoops. Then drop the bomb you'd advertise on any show BUT Hannity's...and if you can do this in front of the Seanmeister, I'd pay big money to see the record speed jaws hit the floor.

Or you can talk about your commercial flight...even ask how much it would cost for a Mitch Albon (isn't he still on WJR?) or other people to do your spots (that's extra money for the station and the AE)...find out how much each person charges...and I'm sure Sean boy asks the biggest bucks and then tell them it's not worth it and see how much they lower Sean's "rate"...that'd be a hoot.

No need to insult or be an asshole...you're in the company of plenty of them. Just be one of them and see how they like being on the receiving end. Kharma can be a wonderful thing.

Cheers...

[Carni]

50. Neither am I! Bust him as being a poster at freerepublic!

He's in all their photos from during the impeachment era with some jerk named "Connie Hair"

[otohara]

18. REFUSE TO MEET HIM....

much less ask for an autograph...Fuck him, he's evil shit

[swag]

19. I've always loved your films, Mr. Connery

and I must say that you look much more pustulant in person.

[Faygo Kid]

30. Now we're Talking! Thanks, swag!

And thanks to Greendog, the poster after you. Hell, I will have great fun with this (I have some ideas of my own about that young whippersnapper), but you get the Spirit. Thanks! (Did I really have to spell this out here? Geez).

[greendog]

20. Ask him where he gets his hair cut....

....tell him it looks almost as good as Kerry's or Clinton's.

[Spider Jerusalem]

21. Nothing that wouldn't get you arrested or escorted out of the building...

I can't really think of any message I would wish conveyed to Sean Hannity that fits within the bounds of civil discourse.

[beachbum]

23. As he walks by

Stick your foot out and trip him! Yeaaaaaa! <applause!> :)

[Neshanic]

25. After shaking his hand , say out loud, " it is not scaly, I win!"

[alcuno]

26. Do what I do. Pretend you aren't really sure who he is.

Whenever I want to put people back on their heels, I politely act as if I can't remember ever having met or heard of them before. There is a woman on the School Board who I've forced to introduce herself to me three times. Can't stand her and it always takes her down a peg.

[buycitgo]

27. just ask him if he's interested in finding out what happened on 911

ask him if he'd be so interested in shutting Clarke up if 911 had happened a year earlier

ask him why he doesn't have a beard, or if he lets somebody else shave him, cause you can't understand HOW on EARTH he can look at himself long enough in the mirror

I could go on, but this is bad Karma, devoting ANY calories at all to that Quisling

[BOSSHOG]

28. Seriously

A straightforward statement from Hannity about Clarke's testimony at the 9-11 commission. And, why doesn't cheney tell us about the findings of his energy task force. And, why, if bush says his staff should cooperate with the Plame investigation, there has been no cooperation (if there had been cooperation we'd have the felon in custody right?)

Good luck and please steam clean afterwards.

[Faygo Kid]

38. I will wash thoroughly. But, have to do this with class.

The only way any of us will do things. Or, with a sardonic wit: My idea is to actually get Sean to think I am agreeing with him, while really making fun of him, through a dry rapier wit that he misses. That's my goal, anyway.

[otohara]

51. Waste of Time

he's an asshole. Think about how rude he is - Do you really want to meet this piece of slime? The strongest message you could send, is tell your sales rep, and the Sales Manager - thanks but I can't stand the Hannity's of the airwaves, I have no desire to be in the same room with him.

[greendog]

31. Hey faygokid, aren't you a lawyer?

You could offer him your services for when his "problem" goes public.

[Faygo Kid]

41. Geez, how did you know? Nonpracticing, though; not what I am doing.

You are scary. Howdya know that?

[greendog]

46. You posted it once...

...I have a good memory. :)

[Faygo Kid]

49. You have a scary memory. But, thanks.

Like your posts, and I will now enter the witness protection program.

[otohara]

33. Keep In Mind

by meeting Hannity it is just part of the plan to get your money....

Meeting famous people means nothing to them. You will always remember this moment - they will never remember!

[King_Crimson]

34. He'll be here at the Scottish Rite Center...

here in good ole Fort Wayne, Indiana on Friday. Will I be there you ask...not on your life!

[rwheeler31]

36. Simply write yuck, ooh., pooey, why did you buy this book?

Get rid of it now

[Kathy in Cambridge]

39. How about:

You could say that meeting him is almost as exciting as when you met the Grand Wizard of your local KKK!

Make sure to shower thoroughly after the meeting!

[The Night Owl]

40. Shake his hand and say...

Hello, Mr. Colmes! So good to meet you!

[eleny]

43. Or introduce yourself as an avid DUer

and take no shit off him. If he comes back with some unamerican comment, tell him to shut up or you'll shut it for him.

[jeanmarc]

42. spill coffee on him. [nt]

[Faygo Kid]

45. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Maybe a little too slapstick. Perhaps I could challenge him in Jeopardy, category "American History?" Oh please. Please please please. Well, it won't happen, but I would die a happy man if I could get him or Limbaugh to take me on in that category.

[jeanmarc]

55. I think the stinkpalm is the most deserving

See the post below.

[jeanmarc]

47. Have you ever perfected the 'spit double take?' LOL!!!!!

Pretend that you never, ever see him and when some assistant finally tries to nudge you in his direction, with your mouth full of water, look at him, turn away, look at him again, this time in disbelief, and let lose with the water!

[jeanmarc]

52. Mallrats, the dreaded 'stinkpalm'

I'll let you watch the movie Mallrats, but it involves the hand going between two cheeks before the handshake and then a handshake with Sean Hannity. If anyone deserves it, it is Sean Hannity.

[guitar man]

53. Here's one

When you are with Hannity,make sure to mention to the AE that you don't want your business advertised during the Hannity show,and want your contract to read that way.That ought to shake his arrogant ass up!

[Octafish]

70. LMAOcystO!

"Hey, Hannity! Have you ever met Rush Limbaugh?"

[revcarol]

54. Ask him for his conclusions on the NINE investigations currently

going on of the Bush administration. Appeal to his investigative journalist side...

"Mr. Hannity, I understand that you are an investigative journalist...etc. etc."Then, POW!! It becomes obvious he won't have ANYTHING Republican investigated.And he slinks off, never knowing what hit him.(Have a list of the nine investigations, from LBN article.)

[eaprez]

56. Tell Him You Admire Him

for overcoming such adversity, tragedy and hardship and becoming so successful in spite of there being such overwhelming odds against him. Tell him that he's an example to all of us of the American Dream. That only in America can a -- "nobody become such a somebody" When he insists he hasn't had to overcome anything. Get a surprised look on your face and say ' that you could have sworn that his bitterness, anger, narrowness, prejudice was rooted in some terrible childhood memories - how else does one get so f***** up?


Then suggest a good therapist and psychotropic medications!!!!!!

[Berserker]

63. Treat him like he treats every Liberal

Ask him a question and as soon as he is trying to make a point talk over him and keep saying JUST ANSWER THIS ONE QUESTION and keep doing it until he stops and then drive your point home and then talk over him again!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and tell him he is a piece of shit from me!the hateful bastard!

[Ksec]

58. Yea, tell him I volunteered him for a crash testing job.

They need some new dummies.

A New Slogan for Him:

"Sean Hannity- Even the brainless are smarter than he is."

[americanstranger]

59. Tell him he's about to get his ass kicked

by Randi Rhodes in NYC.

-as

[leesa]

60. Why would you agree to meet that POS?

State quite clearly to the people courting your business that you would not have anything to do with this lying fascist. Maybe they will get better entertainment for their show if they want your business so badly.

[Faygo Kid]

64. You're no fun. Life is short. I understand. But, I can't resist.

This isn't one of those thousand person Hannitization things. How can I resist? I probably would have met Hitler, too, if I had the chance - and been doubly inspired to fight him and everything he stood for. That's what I hope will come out of this. Can I retain my self esteem if I shrink from meeting the millionaire Rove shill? Wouldn't you like to look him in the eye? I have to do this. I have no more voice or power than any other DUer, and wouldn't want it any other way. But I have to do this. I hope you understand.

[Caution]

62. How about...

Is your aversion to the truth actually contagious or is this some form of genetic defect?

[TahitiNut]

65. Two words: Projectile Vomit

:shrug: If I were caught in such a situation, I'd merely shake my head and say "Such a sad, misguided human being."

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

66. Ask him how it feels to have Colms as his prison bitch. eom

[The Night Owl]

67. Thank him for his military service!

That way, he will have to awkwardly admit that he did not serve. Stuff like that always embarrasses chickenhawks.

[Octafish]

69. Ask if he's met Richard Clarke.

He'll say no, then you can follow up with, "Do you believe Condi Rice?"

[ConsAreLiars]

71. Like any starstruck naif, ask questions

Glad to meet ya.

TV must be a tough business. You've gotta be pretty smart to get as well known as you have become. How did you develop that sort-of dumbass bigot act that has brought you such success?

well-uh its not, uh ...

No, really, you are very convincing! I loved the bit where you ...
(sorry, no specifics, I've only see a few snippets while channel-surfing)

well-uh, thanks?

And your sidekick, what's his name, that little guy, the Barney Fife character, that is really a great touch! You've got some great schtick going with him. The low-IQ demographic must love it!

uh

And that bit where you called "x" a (whatever) at the same time Y was happening, that was a masterful piece of diversion!
(etc., a list of Insanity's most shameful episodes--probably some website like mediawhores has a compilation)



Anyway, you get the gist of this approach.

[Berserker]

74. Ask him to read this thread!

After all he works for a fair and BALANCED network.
Balance this or should I say spin?

[belle]

72. Ask him what he meant when he asked whether we should still...

hold elections if there were another terrorist attack. Ask him a) why he would even consider such a response and b) whatever made him bring that up in the first place??

[kaitykaity]

73. Here's a couple.

Please tell him this: "I hope you understand, Sean, that no one with two brain cells to rub together takes you the least bit seriously."

I mean, come on. How many times can one person say 'the wrong side of history,' and 'Reagan won the Cold War' without everybody but the parrots losing interest?

****
Go Git 'Im!!!

[dantana1776]

76. tell him this

Hannity sounds like a really nice guy. I call it "nice guy spin" but it's pretty obvious that he is reading from the GOP play book. I'd really like to know what he thinks if you could talk to him outside the constructs of the conservative talk radio settings and a few glasses of scotch. It seems to me he's trying real hard to maintain the persona he does.

[Cat Atomic]

77. Ask him if he'll sign your copy of the RNC's talking points for that day.

.

[minkyboodle]

78. when presented to the Irish Ape Man

grab your balls vigorously and scream "Hannitze This you bulbous forehead motherfucker!!!" Sorry thats not constructive but its how I feel at this moment :)
Scott

[Gothic Sponge]

80. Act naive about politics

and say to him "I can't wait to hear Al Franken's new radio show. He always made me laugh on SNL."

[anarchy1999]

81. Ask him about E-Voting issues and refer him to BBV<=.

Absolute best you can do and I believe this is the single largest issue in front of all of us going into November. It we don't get the machines fixed we are toast. Nationwide, voter verified paper ballots. If we can get receipts for every banking transaction we can get a receipt for every vote we cast, with a copy that goes into a box. Bring on the recounts.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

82. Tell him to change his name.

He's an embarrasment to the Irish and every Irish-American in the US.

[tishaLA]

83. Tell him you really loved him in

"Birdcage," but it was hard to get tickets to see "The Producers." He always reminds me of an uglier Nathan Lane. He could be his stand in, in fact.

[justsam]

84. Tell him how pathetic he looks when

when he's trying to defend the Bush administration. Forget that, just tell him that he's the most pathetic SOB on the planet

[theriverburns]

85. Discretely ask him if he can

get you any Oxycontin.