White House Blasts Cheney Memoir, Calls Former VP "Disgruntled"

[adjwilli]

http://www.tnr.com/easterbrook.mhtml

WHITE HOUSE BLASTS CHENEY MEMOIR, CALLS FORMER VICE PRESIDENT "DISGRUNTLED": WASHINGTON, DC -- (March 23, 2006). White House spokeswoman Morgan Fairchild today denounced as the "complaints of a disgruntled former employee" a new memoir by Dick Cheney which asserts that President George W. Bush played Yahtzee during National Security Council meetings.

The former vice president's memoir, Hearsay to History, rocketed to number-one on sales lists approximately 90 seconds after publication--Amazon.com ranks second-by-second bestsellers so that an author need only purchase one of his or her own books to reach top-seller status for a single second--when Cheney appeared on the ABCCBSNBCCNNFOXMSNBCESPNMTV television show "Interrogations and Evasions." Cheney described the chief executive as obsessed with the overthrow of baseball commissioner Bud Selig, whom he described as a "dangerous dictator," and further said that Bush "could not point to Canada on an outline map." Cheney admitted that he also was unclear on the precise location of Canada, but added, "Now that Halliburton owns it, what's the difference?" Cheney spoke to ABCCBSNBCCNNFOXMSNBCESPNMTV from an undisclosed location where he is in hiding with his official biographer, Jayson Blair.

Cheney's memoir joins a progression of embarrassing tell-all publishing projects about the president undertaken by former Bush confidants Paul O'Neill, Richard Clarke, Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, James Baker and twins Jenna and Barbara Bush. Rumsfeld's volume, Thirty Seconds Over Baghdad, alleged that George W. Bush flipped a coin when deciding whether to attack Iraq or Belgium, which secret intelligence reports had described as "annoying, in addition to overrated except for chocolate." The Bush twins' book, Dad Was Late For Our Volleyball Scrimmage, alleged that George W. Bush is sometimes cranky before coffee, forgets the birthstones of family members, and once exclaimed, "Holy fudge!"