Need help! I need to create a humorous Top Ten List for Why one should be

[cosmokramer]

...a Democrat or vote for Democrats.

Creativity is no where to be found tonight...Please help!

This will be for a speech at the Unity Dinner in my city on Thursday. Any help or ideas would be terrific--this is the best talent pool on the web, so I hope some of you can help!

[orwell]

1. A Few Ideas

Here are a few:

Gun racks are optional.

The words 'Tricky Dick' bring back fond memories.

You don't have to agree with Bob Novak over anything.

Frisky interns.

Who ever heard of a good piece of elephant.

O

[Robbien]

2. First thing that came to my mind

I am glad I am a democrat because I don't have to believe bombing Iraq is a good idea just because there were not enough targets to bomb in Afghanistan.

[russian33]

3. LOL...

..."Who ever heard of a good piece of elephant." <--HAHAHAHAHA!

[MadProphetMargin]

4. Here's a few.

10. All the free patchouli you can stand.
9. Because you like to see Limbaugh turn that funny shade of purple.
8. Demonstrators get the chicks.
7. Because no matter how hard you try, you just can't look at Bush without laughing.
6. Because otherwise, Saddam wouldn't come to your Friday night poker game. And he's a SUCKER for a bluff.
5. Because fundamentalist-approved music SUCKS.
4. Because John Ashcroft, being a singer, is obviously a tool of the devil.
3. Because you can't drink enough to hang with the GOP big dawgs.
2. Because you would rather finish your commitment to the NG.

and

1. Because you've never had a DUI.

[AlCzervik]

5. top ten list

Because volvos are reliable and they go with my sock and birks.

[nostamj]

6. OK

Last chance to restore democracy.

Make more foreign leaders happy.

Can use your frequent flyer miles on small planes again.

Piss off Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh.

George will probably cry in public.

Piss off Barbara Bush, Poppy Bush and Jebby Bush.

Fox News will turn into the Wrestling Channel.

No more Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Rice or Wolfowitz.

Pre-emptive war will be SO 'last administration'

A president with a genuine mandate.

The footage of Bush getting on the chopper for the last time.

(i could go on. if any are in the 'direction' you're looking for, let me know. I can riff on stuff like this for hours...

[MadProphetMargin]

7. Best reason EVER!

The footage of Bush getting on the chopper for the last time.

Makes me nostalgic for the 70s.

Good times...

[cosmokramer]

9. The more the better...

...have to send these through a few other folks.

The theme is essentially "Top Ten Reasons to be a Democrat".

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Here is the only creative thing I can think of (though too crude for a public speech):

"Because elephant dung doesn't fit in a pooper scooper.":7

[nostamj]

16. "Top Ten Reasons to be a Democrat"

OK cosmo, that does focus things a bit!

well, the "piece of elephant" is a great one! if you can use, it. use it! and I wish to HELL I'd written it!

You're hated by all the *right* people.

Flag pins clash with your Grateful Dead ties.

Al Franken.

Somebody's got to stand up for the Constitution.

Meet other people that actually have a sense of humor.

It's nice to be in the majority.

Dissent is essential in a democracy.

(need a break. will check this thread later. good luck with your speech!)

[orwell]

8. 5 More

A few more:

There's no chance of Strom Thurmond being your long lost father.

A newt is still God's creature.

Those large Dukakis buttons make great drink coasters.

Jimmy Carter might still build you a house.

You don't have to watch the 700 club to get the secret codes.

O

[cosmokramer]

10. These are really good!

[lucidmadman]

11. Better hair....

...show pic of that regulation republican Congressperson hair-do...the one they all seem to have.

[alcuno]

12. Because.............

1. You want to spend your retirement years goofing off with your wife and playing with your grandchildren rather than wandering through downtown ________ with a tin cup.

2. When you first heard George W. Bush talking about the rebuilding of the infrastructure, you thought he was talking about the United States.

And

3. Many people in the countries being given our jobs are forced to EAT their pets.

[orwell]

13. Another 5

George and Laura can home school the twins.

No more peanut butter sandwhiches at official state dinners.

Crawford gets much needed economic boost from Bush pig ranching.

Secret service agents freed from cleaning up Bush girl's vomit.

George Will can start using big words again.

O

[historian]

14. someone literate

I would like someone literate in the white house who doesnt look like the north end of a cow going south everytime he opens his mouth.

[guitar man]

15. A few

Democrats:

>have sex in other positions besides missionary

>can count to 20 without taking off their shoes and socks

>have family trees that branch out


I'll keep thinking,hopefully come up with some more.

[jorno67]

17. Because

DIRTY
because we made BJ's cool again

PRACTICAL
Bush's only serve one term

RELIGIOUS
Jesus was the original liberal

ECONOMIC
After all the lost US jobs, shouldn't Dub-ya lose his job too

GLOBAL
It sucks owning the dumbest the leader in the world

NATIONAL
There is a village in Texas wanting their Idiot back

[cosmokramer]

18. Still need more help!

Must be reasonably 'clean' reason to be a democrat (humorous though).

Tough, I know...

THANKS!

[skeptic9]

19. #1: "It's the economy, Stupnid!"

[skeptic9]

20. #6: Because you're color-blind and can't tell "Code Orange" from "Code Yellow"!

[Redbear]

22. Here's a couple.

It feels good to support justice for all and not a privileged few.

You get to to support human rights, not property rights.

[CBHagman]

21. Here are some more...

Top reasons for being a Democrat:

We have all the cool monogram presidents -- FDR, JFK, LBJ.

Because Madonna might endorse your four-star general.

Because you'd rather hug John Edwards than Jesse Helms.

Because Eleanor Roosevelt made more of a mark in history than Mamie, Pat and Laura combined.

Because, unlike John Ashcroft, the average Democratic man doesn't look like he escaped from a community theater production of "The Crucible."

Look how Chelsea turned out. Look how the Bush twins turned out. 'nuff said!

[skeptic9]

23. Because we look like America, not a gated community in Iceland!

[skeptic9]

24. Because we kiss our wives better!

[cosmokramer]

25. Still need more...

...the list is coming together, but I need more "Why I am a democrat" ideas...

GRATEFUL to all the help so far...