LOL...from the Onion...rummy at Fang Island fortified island headquarters

[diamond14]

FANG ISLAND—U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has opened his fortified island headquarters to participants in his second no-holds-barred martial arts tournament, the enigmatic mastermind announced Monday.

http://www.theonion.com/news/



The Eagle Fist Tournament has come under fire from critics in America who characterize the fortress, purchased at taxpayers' expense, as a grandstanding ploy to divert attention from Iraq and the stalled war on terrorism.

"What exactly is this meant to achieve?" reporter James Snyder asked, hours before he disappeared from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram building. "Why does the Department of Defense need to determine who the world's premier open-hand fighter is and then retain his or her services for the next year? And why did Rumsfeld have the Guantánamo Bay prisoners chained and placed in the labyrinthine caverns below Fang Island? And how on earth does 'conflict sear away cowardice'? Patriot Act or no, we have a right to some answers."

Rumsfeld, wandering among his collection of antique torture implements and feeding candied figs to his golden langur, said he remains unmoved.

[boobooday]

1. The Onion -- consistently brilliant

Rummy -- our own Dr. Evil, only not as sympathetic.



http://www.wgoeshome.com

[Hotler]

2. Always a good laugh with Onion..

n/t

[Pale_Rider]

3. Rumsfield demonstrating 'Drunken Temple Boxing' pose.

<Photo blocked>

From: http://www.poe-news.com/features.php?feat=31845

On edit: apparently the site is not allowing the photos to be displayed.

[dad]

4. Rumsfeld Fighting Technique

http://www.poe-news.com/features.php?feat=31845

You may have defeated my Southern Hook Palm technique, but can you defeat the 1000 styles of Rumsfeld?

[Chovexani]

5. Say it with me now

Moooooooooortal Kooooooombat! *cue techno music*

Geez I love the Onion. :)