My new little item; "WWJC: Why Would Jesus Care?"

[Tyler Durden]

If you are a religious Christian type person, then Jesus is the Son of God, the creator of everything that exists, and you must get terribly bored with the Fundy Repuke Neocon-type Neandertals like Robertson and Fallwell and their minions putting words into the mouth of the almighty.

Well here comes Tyler with a way to entertain yourself.

My new little item is: "WWJC: Why Would Jesus Care?"
The usage of this item is very simple. When confronted with some Fundy Repuke Neocon-type Neandertal, who gets in your face hyperventilating their stale breath with distended neck veins about to have a Righteous Indignation stroke, grunting through clenched teeth, "What Would Jesus Do!!??!??!" you can respond by asking why the master of the universe would be such a narrow minded, petty, low wattage twit, and then say "Why Would Jesus Care?" about their particular Fundy pet peeve, like homophobia, Sex Ed, etcetera.

Who knows? They might just go all the way into a full bore coronary, and we all need a little entertainment from time to time.

[emulatorloo]

1. Thank you for coining this. . .

I'll be sure to use it.

[Tyler Durden]

3. Just thought up another one.

Boy if the Fundy Repuke Neocon Neandertal types are RIGHT, I'm going to be in Hell smoking a turd like a Cuban cigar.

Here's some texts for a bumper stickers, screen savers, etc for any of you REAL BRAVE folks out there:

"JESUS WAS A CLONE"

"MARY WAS A SURROGATE MOTHER"

"GOD DOES IT IN VITRO"

I think I feel a one way trip to Hell in a Handbasket coming on.

[Smirnoff]

6. explain to me?

what does "god does it in vitro" mean?

[Tyler Durden]

11. Variation on "Jesus Was A Clone"

Another Jesus suggestion is that God just made Jesus appear in Mary's uterus. The logic behind this one ties into the "Life at Conception" "Every Fetus Unique" items. If Jesus is God, then he can't have any DNA of Mary's because that would make the HUMAN Jesus different from the Son of God/Jeus is God Jesus.

Makes the head spin.

[SerpentX]

13. Heh, I've heard this before ...

The Gnostic Friends Network

[BR_Parkway]

2. The real "fundamental" question is Would he sell Nails at the theater

it always comes back to passing the plate.

[trotsky]

4. I'm not a Christian, but it's worth noting...

that since Jesus supposedly had a limited time in which to perform his ministry, and if hating homosexuality is SO darn important for Christians, why did he NEVER mention it?

Only in Paul's writings do we find the worst of Christianity - hatred of gays, women, etc. Fartwell and Robertson types should call themselves Paul-ians instead of Christians, IMHAO. (In My Humble Atheist Opinion)

[Tyler Durden]

5. Wasn't Paul a Tax Collector (Publican)?

Sounds like a Repuke to me.

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. Matthew was the tax collector. Saul/Paul hated Christians

but then had an epiphany on the road to Damascus and became a pro Christian zealot instead of an anti one.

~Jen, liberal Christian rather than a fundy Paulist.

[Smirnoff]

10. Is this true?

I've never heard this. That is the only book in the bible that says anything about it? I must say that I don't waste much, ok any, of my time reading the bible, or crazy book. So I rely on you all to tell me what it says...heh

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. He didn't mention it outright

but he also said he did not come to replace the old testement but to reinforce it.

So fundies and evangelicals latch onto the codes in Leviticus and stake their claim on one woman one man marriage (and no hanky panky of any other kind there).

Never mind that those same laws would also have us put to death for eating shellfish. *sigh*

[Tyler Durden]

14. If I remember correctly:

The quote is more like "I have come not to overturn the law, but fulfill it," and I believe in the interpretation I have heard this refers to the Commandments, not the strictures of the Talmud, which were written by the Levites.

I may be wrong.

[GreenPartyVoter]

15. Yes, that's the quote

but if you ask fundies, they will tell you He means the WHOLE Book.

And if you give them the Ten commandments line, they'll tell you homosexuality is adultery because two of the same sex cannot marry and therefore it's still a sin.

(Did I mention I married into one of those families? Hence the reason I am familiar with their arguments. *sigh*)

[Tyler Durden]

16. My favorite Fundy BS item is the corruption of 1 Corinthians, Chap 13:1-13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
and have not charity, I am become sounding brass, or
a tinkling cymbal.


They just LOVE to substitute "love" for "charity." The original Greek is AGAPE, or selfless/generous concern.

But "charity" would just be too hard for these selfish Fundy Repuke Neocon Neandertal-types, so they change the words and it's all fine again.

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. That's too funny *l*

[jpgray]

9. Jesus would say: 'that's nice, now give your money to the poor'

And then they'd have to kill him again pretty quick. :D