Top 12 Reasons Gay People Should Not Marry

[JanMichael]

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer lifespan.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
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A friend of mine sent me this after he saw it here: http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=76610

While this may be a humorous look at the insanity over Same Sex Marriages I think it's still GD material.

The points raised hit straight at the heart of the matter.

[Braden]

1. #3 is pretty funny

since its the cornerstone of the anti-gay marriage debate for most RW'ers.

[BR_Parkway]

6. I hope that things will be ok when I tell my son that he has to be gay

and let's adopt out my daughters new baby !

You know, as homophobic as all these RWer's are, maybe they should be worried that allowing us to marry is going to threaten their marriages. How many of them might finally come out of the closet? Or are they just jealous because they think we are getting more sex than they are? Hell, that right there should make them want us all to get married, it's supposed to dampen the whole sex drive! :-)

[BR_Parkway]

2. # 8 - I always wanted to be taller!

#12 - When we have 2 bathrooms, one for Men, the other for Homos - will it still be illegal to proposition the cute guy at the urinal next to you?

[Misinformed01]

3. Heyyyyyyy this was on the Subaru Forum

Yesterday....I didn't know you were hanging out there now honey!

What's your screen name there?

"Marriedtoaworrywart?"

[JanMichael]

4. I couldn't handle the stress.

Oil change, good tread, go!

[tex46]

5. HA-LARIOUS

What's funny, but not in like a ha ha way, is that we've all heard these arguments from the right.

[ComerPerro]

7. You know what is really funny/pathetic about this?

If you posted it at Free Republic, you would get responses like "Yeah!" or "Right on" or even "megadittoes"


EDIT: giving credit where credit is due - great post

[nickinSTL]

8. #8

Hanging around tall people will make you tall??!!!???

Ok, where do I get some REALLY TALL friends?

Darn those genetics!

[fob]

9. Great. But I propose(get it!) a few changes

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, imagine how less meaningful Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be seen if gays were also able to marry.


8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you grow.

[Qutzupalotl]

10. This thread gets a big

:thumbsup:

[Adams Wulff]

11. One of my roommates is opposed to gay marriage, and really doesn't know

...why.
I will show her this list, and see if she has an epiphany.
Or watch her head explode.

That will be fun!