The bush accomplishment list- pass it on!

[rhino91063]

If President Bush would be honest with the American people, this is
what he would tell us about his "accomplishments" while in office.

Just so you know:
I attacked and took over 2 countries
I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury.
I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history
(not =easy!).
I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in
any 12 month period.
I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
stock market.
I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days
on vacation by any president in US history (tough to beat my dad's,
but I did).
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided
over the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any
president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their
jobs.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any
other president in US history.
I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a 12-
month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions
than any president in US history.
I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president,
since the advent of TV.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution
than any other US president in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused
to intervene when corruption was revealed.
I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million
people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the
history of mankind.
I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US
history.
I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any
in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history. (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a
Chevron oil tanker named after her.)
I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the
Union simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.
I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any
market in any country in the history of the world.
I am the first president in US history to order a US attack AND
military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the
willof the United Nations and the vast majority of the international
community.
I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the
history of the United States, called the "Bureau of Homeland
Security"(only one letter away from BS).
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
increases,more than any other president in US history (Ronnie was
tough to beat, but I did it!!).
I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations
remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US
history.
I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I withdrew from the
World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by
default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations
election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
campaign donations.
The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of
my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate
bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron
Corporation).
I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in
US history.
I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under
attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than
a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly
the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the
people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to
world peace and stability.
I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
I set the all-time record for the number of administration
appointees who violated US law by not selling their huge investments
in corporations bidding for gov't contracts.
I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than
any other president in US history.
I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in
less than two years turned every single economic category heading
straight down.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES: I have at least one conviction for drunk
driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not
available).
I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during
time of war.
I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug
use. (wink,wink)
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited
away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.
All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served
on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public review.

With Love,
GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House, Washington, DC

Note: this information should be useful to voters in the 2004
election.
Circulate to as many citizens you think would be helped to be
reminded about this record

[MichaelHarris]

1. Hahahahahaa

We should use some of that to make a George Bush resume. He's gonna need to update his soon.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

2. George Bush's non-sarcastic accomplisment list:

(nt)

[4MoreYearsOfHell]

3. Now that you mentioned it...

I managed to changed a ruling that allows me to lock up my Daddy's
presidential papers so's the unruly public (that's us, the "great
unwashed") do not get to see them until long after they were supposed to be
available to the public.

I have allowed my vice-president to keep the attendees and the final
outcome of HIS energy policy meetings a secret while they were dreaming up
YOUR energy policy.

I have allowed my national security adviser to refuse to testify to the
9/11 commision. Which, by the way, I have determined MUST be completed by
the end of May, whether they are ready to or not...

Someone in my or my cabinet's staff has committed a felony by "outing" the
identity of a CIA agent, but I have done absolutely nothing with regards to
helping to identify that person.

I stopped chemical companies from funding the Superfund cleanup fund
and will use solely taxpayer dollars to clean up the offender's
messes.

I continued to read a story about a goat 20 minutes after I knew that
the second plane had hit the World Trade Center because I did not
want to scare the 17 children - preventing me from being able to
issue an order (only the president can do so) that would enable
fighter planes to shoot down other hijacked aircraft in an attempt to
limit the loss of life.

I tried to cut 1.8 billion dollars from veteran benefits after
sending troops to Iraq, but that dastardly Congress kept me from
doing so.

I managed to help out all of my pals who put me in office by leading
the charge on tax cuts that return 50 percent of the tax dollars to
5% of the population, while driving the deficit even higher.

I went to the UN to talk about my reasons to go to war, and got
distracted and started to mumble about the global sex-trade industry.

I actually got on the airwaves and compared myself to Churchill, in
spite of the fact that it is not polite to speak ill of the dead.

Thru brash statements, innuendoes, and just plain old poor diplomacy,
I have managed to heighten tensions between the U.S. and Iran, North
Korea, and the Palestinian people.

My energy policy gives huge tax breaks to my friends while scoffing
at any notion of using less fossil-fuel resources or different fuel
sources.

I cut the parts of the EPA study that I did not like out to the point
that my trusted Environmental Secretary, Christie Whitman (formerly a
rising Republican star) felt compelled to resign.

I managed to sneak the Bin Laden family out of America within days of
the 9/11 attack, so's they wouldn't have to answer any embarrassing
questions about their kinsman Osama. During a time when all flights
across the US were suspended.

The list grows daily...