In India, Dowry-Giving Still Defines Many Marriages

[DuctapeFatwa]

The high incidence of dowry-related violence despite the Indian Penal Code’s anti-dowry provisions—stringent enough, as Delhi High Court said—reveals that the root of the problem is not the law....The recent case of Nisha Sharma, who created a stir by declaring that she wouldn’t marry a man who insisted on dowry, is an indication of the real problem. In the photographs taken before she became a “rebel” and was splashed across most newspapers, she could be seen in the foreground with her father, with the background full of cardboard boxes containing a television set, music system, washing machine, and other “gifts”...

And we all know, Nisha, a hero in her own right today, had not said “no” to the marriage till her family could no longer afford to pay the “additional dowry.” Nisha was fortunate that the demand for additional dowry was made just before the marriage, and because her family couldn’t afford it, the prospective groom’s parents said “no” first....not all brides are as fortunate as Nisha. According to the National Crime Records Bureau, 6,995 dowry deaths were reported in the year 2000...45,778 incidents of torture by husbands or in-laws were eported...increase of 195.9 per cent and Hyderabad, 200 percent.

Yet, girls like Nisha continue to agree to be sold in the marriage market...plagued with the dilemma of giving in to the demand for dowry, risking further abuse. Or...risk a lifetime of humiliation that comes with spinsterhood.

Unfortunately, such behavior is prescribed in Hindu scriptures. Manushastra, for example, states in 5:154: “The wife should treat the husband as god, (even) if he is characterless, sensual, and devoid of good qualities.”...The best dowry any parents can give their daughter is a good education, healthy self-esteem, and the values of sacramental marriage. Society needs to wake up to its responsibility of building and nurturing responsible human beings, for even now it is the village that raises the child.

http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=80202f3c6db58dae3ff6bcab76bba641

[blondeatlast]

1. This hits uncomfortably close to home for me.

My husband's sister has been abused and threatened with death by her husband and his family. These aren't even uneducated people; she has attended college and they live in New Delhi. It is very prevalent in rural areas particularly, however.

One of the biggest problems (my husband, as I'm certain you've guessed, is an Indian) is that once the woman is married, she is generally unable to EVER see her family again. She not only becomes "part" of the husband, she becomes a part of his family as well. This was well portrayed in "Monsoon Wedding," though I suspect many Western audiences didn't quite get the point at the end of the film.

What's even more interesting is that it has come to our shores with Indian immigrants in Silicon Valley.
http://www.maitri.org/

Interesting stuff--started by an Indian male in Silicon Valley who was shocked to see the behaviors of some of the men towards their wives.

Off-shore outsourcing may actually have a positive effect in this regard.

[DuctapeFatwa]

2. What a great site, Thanks for posting it! (nt)