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democratreformed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-04 05:06 PM
Original message
Would you critique (sp?) and/or edit my article?
I have been asked by the president of my local Democratic club to write a short article on the history of the Democratic party with some of its accomplishments. Here is what I have come up with. Would anyone be willing to read over this and tell me what you think? Feel free to let me know what you think I should add or edit out. Thanks in advance.

START HERE
A journey back through the past two hundred and eleven years of the Democratic Party's existence would bring on face to face with countless programs designed to carry our nation forward while striving to provide security for its citizens.
Founded by Thomas Jefferson in 1792 as a congressional caucus to fight for the Bill of Rights and agains the elitist Federalist party, it later became known as the "party of the common man". At this point, the party was actually called the Democratic-Republican party. In 1824, there was a four-way split over the nomination for the presidential race - with the group of Jacksonian Democrats emerging as the precursor to the modern-day Democratic Party. This group was backed by souther agrarians and northern workers and led by Andrew Jackson. Jackson was elected in 1828.
Throughout the early 1800s, Democratic presidents such as Jackson and Franklin Pierce were focused primarily on the growth of the new nation. New territories were being added at a fast pace.
In the later years of the 19th century, Democrat Grover Cleveland presided over the formation of the very first regulatory commission - the Interstate Commerce Commission, which mainly strove to bring stabilization to railroad fees across state lines. In the same year, 1877, the Hatch Act set up agricultural research and experiment stations in each state. These institutions were associated with land grant colleges.
In 1912, Woodrow Wilson became the first Democratic president of the 20th century. During this administration, the nation dealt with the first world war. When it was over, Wilson drafted the League of Nations covenant and presented it to other nations as an avenue of peace. On the home front, this president and his adminstration set up the Federal Reserve System, the U.S. Coast Guard, the National Park Service, and passed the first labor and child welfare laws.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, first elected in 1932, became the first president in U.S. history to be elected to four terms. During his first term, the new president was faced with major difficulties both at home and abroad. Withe the country in the midst of the Great Depression, its citizens were suffering and the nation as a whole was downtrodden. Overseas, hostilities in Europe were pointing toward the second world war.
FDR was the first president to gather a group of intellectuals and experts to study specific problems and reccommend solutions. In an attempt to curb the depression, the Roosevelt adminstration set up various civil works programs to provide much-needed jobs. Americans employed by the Work Projects Administration built 116,000 public buildings, 651,000 miles of roads, and made improvements to 800 airports. Artists in the program created 10,000 paintings, drawings, and sculptures as a part of the Federal Arts Project. They also created murals on public buildings throughout the country.
The Federal Emergency Relief Adminstration provided funding for housing and welfare programs. This work was taken over by the Social Security Adminstration which was set up in 1935. Other programs set up during this period include the Federal Housing Administration, the Securities and Exchange Commission, the Tennessee Valley Authority, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corportion, and the National Labor Relations Board.
Taking over after the death of FDR in 1945, Democrat Harry Truman turned his focus to international affairs and the end of World War II. He formulated the Marshall Plan for the reconstruction of Europe and was instrumental in the formation of NATO. Anothe accomplishment of the Truman adminstration was the integration of the different brances of the military.
During the John F. Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson administrations of the 1960s, civil right and poverty were the main focus. The Kennedy adminstration submitted the Medicare proposal to help ensure medical care for older Americans. He brought us the Peace Corps. Lyndon Johnson's adminstration brought us such programs as the Job Corps and the Department of Housing and Urban Development as well as anti-poverty measures, voting rights bills, and increased aid to education.
In the late 1970s, Jimmy Carter sought to restore the American public's faith in government following the Watergate scandal.
Finally, in the 1990s, Bill Clinton's adminstration passed the Family and Medical Leave Act to ensure the rights of citizens to be able to care for ailing loved ones. His administration seperated Social Security from the broader Department of Health and Human Services in an attempt to safeguard the program from damaging political maneuvering. During this adminstration, both the crime rate and unemployment levels reached new lows. The country as a whole enjoyed the longest period of economic expansion in peacetime history. In 1998, Clinton was successful in balancing the federal budget.
In the words of the late Ron Brown, former Chairman of the Democratic Party, "The common thread of Democratic history, from Thomas Jefferson to Bill Clinton, has been an abiding faith in the judgement of hard-working American families, and a committment to helping the excluded, the disenfrachised and the poor strengthen our nation by earning themselves a piece of the American Dream."
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MissMarple Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-04 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. Good. It's a good overview. Short and to the point.
Edited on Tue Feb-10-04 05:28 PM by MissMarple
Check for spelling errors and civil right needs an s. If you want you could add a paragraph about the more generalized influence of the Democratic Party in focusing attention on the government promoting the general good of all Americans, that different methods and programs are needed to meet the needs of Americans during changing economic climates. Sort of round it off with a general statement about a continuous thread of Democratic philosophy. OOPS! You did that, sorry. That may be a bit sticky because Democratic history like Republican party history is a bit checkered. I hope that made some sense. Actually it is fine as it is. :D
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democratreformed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-04 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Thank You.
I followed your reasoning and understood what you were saying.
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Donating Member ( posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-04 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. looks ok
Edited on Tue Feb-10-04 05:47 PM by 56kid
watch out for typos and misspellings is all. I'm a proofreader. I gave it a quick look through and bolded some changes.

START HERE
A journey back through the past two hundred and eleven years of the Democratic Party's existence would bring one face to face with countless programs designed to carry our nation forward while striving to provide security for its citizens.
Founded by Thomas Jefferson in 1792 as a congressional caucus to fight for the Bill of Rights and against the elitist Federalist party, it later became known as the "party of the common man". At this point, the party was actually called the Democratic-Republican party. In 1824, there was a four-way split over the nomination for the presidential race - with the group of Jacksonian Democrats emerging as the precursor to the modern-day Democratic Party. This group was backed by southern agrarians and northern workers and led by Andrew Jackson. Jackson was elected in 1828.
Throughout the early 1800s, Democratic presidents such as Jackson and Franklin Pierce were focused primarily on the growth of the new nation. New territories were being added at a fast pace.
In the later years of the 19th century, Democrat Grover Cleveland presided over the formation of the very first regulatory commission delete hyphen, use comma instead, in my opinion- the Interstate Commerce Commission, which mainly strove to bring stabilization to railroad fees across state lines. In the same year, 1877, the Hatch Act set up agricultural research and experiment stations in each state. These institutions were associated with land grant colleges.
In 1912, Woodrow Wilson became the first Democratic president of the 20th century. During this administration, the nation dealt with the first world war. When it was over, Wilson drafted the League of Nations covenant and presented it to other nations as an avenue of peace. in precedeing sentence you use it twice for different things. Try to use more specific reference (like the war for first it & the covenant for the second it. This tightens the languageOn the home front, this president and his adminstration set up the Federal Reserve System, the U.S. Coast Guard, the National Park Service, and passed the first labor and child welfare laws.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, first elected in 1932, became the first president in U.S. history to be elected to four terms. During his first term, the new president was faced with major difficulties both at home and abroad. With the country in the midst of the Great Depression, its citizens were suffering and the nation as a whole was downtrodden. Overseas, hostilities in Europe were pointing toward the second world war.
FDR was the first president to gather a group of intellectuals and experts to study specific problems and recommend solutions. In an attempt to curb the depression, the Roosevelt adminstration set up various civil works programs to provide much-needed jobs. Americans employed by the Work Projects Administration built 116,000 public buildings, 651,000 miles of roads, and made improvements to 800 airports. Artists in the program created 10,000 paintings, drawings and sculptures as a part of the Federal Arts Project. They also created murals on public buildings throughout the country.
The Federal Emergency Relief Adminstration provided funding for housing and welfare programs. This work was taken over by the Social Security Adminstration which was set up in 1935. Other programs set up during this period include the Federal Housing Administration, the Securities and Exchange Commission, the Tennessee Valley Authority, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corportion, and the National Labor Relations Board.
Taking over after the death of FDR in 1945, Democrat Harry Truman turned his focus to international affairs and the end of World War II. He formulated the Marshall Plan for the reconstruction of Europe and was instrumental in the formation of NATO. Anothe accomplishment of the Truman adminstration was the integration of the different branches of the military.
During the John F. Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson administrations of the 1960s, civil rights and poverty were the main focus. The Kennedy adminstration submitted the Medicare proposal to help ensure medical care for older Americans. He brought us the Peace Corps. Lyndon Johnson's adminstration brought us such programs as the Job Corps , the Department of Housing and Urban Development as well as anti-poverty measures, voting rights bills, and increased aid to education.
In the late 1970s, Jimmy Carter sought to restore the American public's faith in government following the Watergate scandal.
Finally, in the 1990s, Bill Clinton's adminstration passed the Family and Medical Leave Act to ensure the rights of citizens to be able to care for ailing loved ones. His administration separated Social Security from the broader Department of Health and Human Services in an attempt to safeguard the program from damaging political maneuvering. During this adminstration, both the crime rate and unemployment levels reached new lows. The country as a whole enjoyed the longest period of economic expansion in peacetime history. In 1998, Clinton was successful in balancing the federal budget.
In the words of the late Ron Brown, former Chairman of the Democratic Party, "The common thread of Democratic history, from Thomas Jefferson to Bill Clinton, has been an abiding faith in the judgement of hard-working American families, and a committment to helping the excluded, the disenfrachised and the poor strengthen our nation by earning themselves a piece of the American Dream."
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democratreformed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-04 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. Thank You
very much for your input. This is the first time I have ever done this.
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kaitykaity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-04 06:11 PM
Response to Original message
5. Good for what it is.

Is dispassionate what you were going for?

Also, maybe a summary statement about overtime pay, child labor laws, environmental protections, unionizing, injured workers, social security, medicare--all of the things people take for granted that wouldn't have happened without the Democrats.

Like this: "Without the Democratic Party, we wouldn't have . . .
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democratreformed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-04 09:09 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. I wasn't sure how "pushy" to be, if that's what you call it
I don't want to turn people off. Do you think it would be okay to state our case more strongly?
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