A friend of mine, who is a conservative...

[liberalpress]

..sent me this. I apologize for its length. The tide has not only turned, it has brought with it a tsunami. Let's not blow the lead.

Operator:
"Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza.
May I have your national ID number?"

Customer:
"Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator:
"I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer:
"My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator:
"Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
and the phone number's 494-2366.
Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302
and your cell number's 266-2566.
Email address is sheehan@ home.net
Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer:
"Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator:
"We're wired into the HSS, sir."

Customer:
"The HSS, what is that?"

Operator:
"We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir.
This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

Customer:
(Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator:
"I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer:
"Whaddya mean?"

Operator:
"Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've
got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy
choice."

Customer:
"What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator:
"You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer:
"What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator:
"Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer:
"All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

Operator:
"That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer:
"Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator:
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer:
"I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."

Operator:
"That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."

Customer:
"Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"

Operator:
"We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,sir.
If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
a little awkward."

Customer:
"Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

Operator:
"It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
yesterday"

Customer:
Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator:
"I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I
see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at
a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day
stay in the State Correctional Facility.
Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

Customer:
(Speechless)

Operator:
"Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer:
"Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator:
"I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.



Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza!"

[lcordero]

1. ahem

"The tide has not only turned, it has brought with it a tsunami. Let's not blow the lead."

The lead is not only blown, it is also DEAD.

[Zhade]

4. Can you elaborate? I honestly have no idea what you mean.

NT?

[TennesseeWalker]

Looks like Domino's will be going out of business.

Along with almost any other company that revealed that they knew that kind of info about their customers....

[LoZoccolo]

2. Not necessarily encouraging.

Right-wingers have, for a long time, insisted that they're all about freedom from government intrusion - which turns out to be the politically correct kind, or social programs. For some reason though, they seem more concerned about universal health coverage than the USA PATRIOT act or John Ashcroft's policies.

[Norquist Nemesis]

3. Good your friend has an open mind

I saw this two or three weeks ago. The conservatives on that board (all two of them LOL) still have their heads in the sand and rose colored glasses...and they staunchly defend Bush and the whole cabal even with things like the above scenario.

[For PaisAn]

5. Same here

I got the same E-mail from a conservative aquaintence who was a Bush lover.

[Gothic Sponge]

6. This is from a conservative on the subject

From another fourm where this was posted.

"Umm, No.


That's Hillary Clinton.


She's already suggested National ID cards years ago."


Yes, it all comes back to the old "it's all Clinton fault."

[pacifictiger]

7. Here's another joke

sent to me this morning from a republican who happens to be a very rich retired founder of a NYSE company. (he's a friend of my dad's)

Dear Friends
Some of you may not like this joke, but I am sending it anyway

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with HRH The Queen. President Bush asks her majesty what her "real" leadership philosophy is. HRH replies that it is quite simply to surround herself with intelligent people.

President Bush then asks how she knows if they're truly intelligent. "I usually do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She then phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair immediately responds, "Certainly, the
child would be me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, Mr. Prime Minister" says the Queen. She hangs
up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. President?"

"Yes, your Majesty. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that one!" Upon returning to Washington, President Bush decides he better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, Mr. President"... What's on your mind?"

"Huh," says President Bush, "your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your
sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they proceed to puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation,
Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

Senator Helms poses the question as follows: "Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb cracker."

Much relieved, Senator Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "Mr. President, I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

President Bush replies in total disgust: "Wrong, you dumb dumb, it's Tony Blair!"