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windansea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:11 PM
Original message
A return to submissive wives?
By Cathy Young, 2/2/2004

QUITE A FEW people would probably rail against Laura Schlessinger, the radio pop psychologist known for her diatribes against abortion, working mothers, and gay rights, even if she said that you should be kind to animals and brush your teeth regularly. When "Dr. Laura" writes a book which pins most of the blame for modern marital problems on selfish, overly demanding women, that's bound to ruffle feathers.


Schlessinger's new book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," is viewed by friend and foe alike as a "back to the good old days" treatise: for some, a rediscovery of the deep truths we've forgotten in the rush to women's liberation; for others, an attempt to roll back decades of women's progress.

Yet some of what Schlessinger says doesn't sound terribly radical. In the age of feminism, she argues, we have paid a lot of attention to women's complaints about men and criticized men for not meeting women's needs -- but we've forgotten that men too have needs and women too have faults. Somehow, we've even developed the notion that a woman who seeks to meet her husband's needs is subservient (but a husband who fails to meet his wife's needs is a pig).

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2004/02/02/a_return_to_submissive_wives/
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htuttle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:16 PM
Response to Original message
1. They tried this tactic during the Reagan era as well
Didn't work then -- Won't work now.


(anyone remember some of the book titles that came out during that period? I seem to remember one or two particularly famous ones that urged this sort of thing, but can't put my finger on their titles...)
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Stephanie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:21 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. I remember
The woman who said to greet your man at the door wrapped in saran wrap. Who was that?
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Maeve Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:31 PM
Response to Reply #5
15. "The Total Woman"
Marabel Morgan! With a lovely pink cover....:puke:
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htuttle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #15
54. Yup, that was it
That was the one I was thinking of.
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
2. Kant said it best in a previous century
To be beneficent when we can is a duty; and besides this, there are many minds so sympathetically constituted that, without any other motive of vanity or self-interest, they find a pleasure in spreading joy around them, and can take delight in the satisfaction of others so far as it is their own work.

But I maintain that in such a case an action of this kind, however proper, however amiable it may be, has nevertheless no true moral worth, but is on a level with other inclinations.


(snip)

For the maxim lacks the moral import, namely, that such actions be done from duty, not from inclination.


(from "The Fundamental Principle of the Metaphysics of Ethics")
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WhoCountsTheVotes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #2
80. Everyone has their fetish - she is a submissive
If we framed this in terms of rights and social recognition for the BDSM community and allowing submissive women to come out of the closet - DU would fully support her!

:)
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eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
3. This book got my MOM yelling
My mother doesn't yell. She doesn't freak out. She has blood pressure of 105/62. (And she and my dad have been married for 32 years.)

She heard an interview w/Dr. Laura on the radio, and wanted to throw a chair at it.

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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #3
10. I really like her. Your Mom, that is.
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prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
4. I bet Dr. Laura finds some support
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 02:38 PM by prolesunited
from the men in here judging by previous postings related to women's issues and feminism.

Edit: corrected grammar
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Kathy in Cambridge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:37 PM
Response to Reply #4
21. Yeah...just start a thread on sexism, abortion, and single parenthood
and watch them flock to the thread with their 19th-century talking points. :eyes:
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:58 PM
Response to Reply #21
61. How rational and right you are, Rose. It is really is the only thing I
have against the group here. There is a large contingency of anti-female folk and they never seem to be reined in. I used to get upset with the Texas bashing but I have mostly given that one up and it has gotten better but the antifeminists are here to stay or so it seems.
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Rich Hunt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 06:01 PM
Response to Reply #61
71. it's surprising and depressing
I was on a leftish mailing list, and the number of people - well, they were all men - who held anti-abortion beliefs was alarming. And their reasons were pretty sexist - implying that women who had abortions were callous and selfish.

As far as the reactionaries, sometimes they come here precisely to reply to feminist threads.
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texastoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:21 PM
Response to Original message
6. The pendulum swings . . .
And it swung a long way over during the rise of feminism. It will settle out. Women came from centuries of repression, and so, yes, there was some misguided exploding going on. There was a lot of collective anger that seeped into the pop culture.

I see lots of young adolescents now who get along as PEOPLE rather than girls and boys. The pendulum is settling out nicely compared to the male-dominate age.

Dr. Laura is an idiot.
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
7. Fundies
especially in the form of southern bapts eat this stuff up. Nothing like hearing your MIL lecture your daughter about the man being "the Master of the house". :mad:
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ButterflyBlood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #7
14. shit, if my MIL is like that
any time she was over I would deliberately ask my wife for permission to do just about any little thing to make it look like she bossed me around more than Macbeth's wife bossed him around just to annoy someone with backwards views.
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #14
18. hehe.
My husband finally twigged to it, and started doing just about that!
Now he occasionally gets the lectures on being a good dominant male christian. Now I'm ignored 'cause I'm a heathen. :crazy:
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Sandpiper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
8. The right has never made a secret
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 02:25 PM by Sandpiper
Of their desire for women to be Stepford Wives.

Unfortunately (for them), the old saying still rings true today. How can you keep 'em on the farm when they've seen Paree?
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aquart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:29 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. Democrats have husbands and wives. Republicans have little women.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
9. The woman is a self-rightous hypocrite with the same hatred toward
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 02:29 PM by efhmc
women of power as all the right wingers. Too bad women don't seem to be able to see her "you must stay at home with your kids" and "kow-tow to husbands to keep them" as doubletalk for "do what I say and not what I do". There is always some measure of truth in her statements and many women and men would LOVE to stay at home with their children and many couples could do with a less selfish approach to dealing with one another, but laying the fault for these things at women's doorstep is the age old approach to life's blame game. (For the first known example in our culture, just check out the bible). The reason many women listen to her is that most of us are loving and giving but we too often still feel quilty about not doing enough. "Dr." Laura is in the same boat with all those other "christian" right wingers, when all else fails blame the woman because she cares. (Edited to add, that I did not mean to insinuate in any way that men don't care. We were just focusing on the women here, I think.)
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
11. Yeah, the past 30 odd years of feminism are now over.
We had our break from centuries of repression, now let's get back to being subservient! It's the natural order of things! <sarcasm>

Seriously, can that women be a bigger misogynist? She has some good points, too bad they are BURIED in her hatred for all things female. If she could just stop hating herself, she may be able to stop hating all women.

Poor thing...
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. She does seem to rant against all the things she does in her own life.
Who does keep her child while she is on book tours and doing her call-in show? Also, as with so many of those phoney family first types, hasn't she been married multiple times.
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Sandpiper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:42 PM
Response to Reply #17
23. This quote was about Ann Coulter, but it fits
Dr. Laura perfectly:

If it weren't for the feminists that she claims to hate so much, the only thing she'd be writing is a grocery list.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. In my own small circle of influence, I have similar words about females
who use all the freedoms that other men and women fought so hard to achieve for them and use those freedoms to attack feminists. I love telling them that if they work, vote, own property, drive a car, own a business, believe in being paid equally, and having equal educational opportunites, etc. that they can call themselves whatever they want but they are most assuredly feminists. I usually get a very dumbfounded look.
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
13. Men's Needs:
Sex.
Beer.
Teevee.
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Stephanie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. You forgot:
Cheeseburger.
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stevedeshazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
48. Yup
That's all we need. :eyes:

We're all just like that. Every single one of us.

Why is it okay to bash men, then? How is it any different?
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #48
51. Not okay and even if kidding it is still just feeding the stereotyping.
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Anaxamander Donating Member (550 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:52 PM
Response to Reply #13
56. I happen to know many women whose needs also include
Sex.
Beer.
and TV.

Wow! Maybe we have more common ground than sitcoms and stereotypes would have us believe!
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:54 PM
Response to Reply #56
59. All right. Mission accomplished. Peace in our time.
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ButterflyBlood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:59 PM
Response to Reply #56
63. actually, the person i know who needs those things the most
is a female.

either way this stupid stereotyping is no better than misogynistic crap.
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DebJ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 06:22 PM
Response to Reply #13
74. You forgot the remote!!!
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windansea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #74
81. will fight to the death
over my need for the remote

heh heh :)
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if it comes from the whitehouse it must be true Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
19. Divorced, Nude photos, left her religion
turned back on her own mother.

Jesus christ, thats one to take advice from!

Not there is anything wrong with things she chose to do, its the "Im washed and now im clean" attitude.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #19
27. What religion did she go to and from?
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if it comes from the whitehouse it must be true Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. Laura's mom raised her as a Catholic
but Laura has since very loudly converted to Judaism.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:08 PM
Response to Reply #28
34. I am assuming it was a conversion for her husband's sake and not out
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 03:09 PM by efhmc
of some late in life revelation that she no longer believed what she learned as a child?
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if it comes from the whitehouse it must be true Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:16 PM
Response to Reply #34
38. She will bash a catholic in a heartbeat
Listen to her rant sometimes on the subject.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:21 PM
Response to Reply #38
41. But doesn't the Catholic church believe all the things she does about
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 03:26 PM by efhmc
abortion, keeping women in their place, ant-feminists etc.? Edited to add, that the church preaches against homosexuality, also.
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if it comes from the whitehouse it must be true Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:30 PM
Response to Reply #41
45. BUT
Jews are the "chosen" people.

I have heard that many times from her idiotic mouth, your points are right but she still will point out the "better" points of her "current" religion.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #45
49. Whatever, no logic there but that is her choice but it is no reason to
bash another religion. Maybe the keywords here are logic and reason.
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Alenne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #28
50. she has since very quietly stop practicing
although she still considers herself a Jew.

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/archives/00003999.html
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #28
53. Actually she was an atheist for a time
Note I do not say this with any sense of pride. She has claimed that the nude pictures were taken during her morally deprived atheist period.
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Woodstock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 09:57 PM
Response to Reply #28
88. She ditched Judaism because they weren't paying her homage
Said she envied her "Christian" callers.
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beyurslf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
20. Isn't it nice that
Dr. Laura's husband lets her out to write books about what a woman should do?
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if it comes from the whitehouse it must be true Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:39 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Or have a career
For shame on someone down on mothers who HAVE to work.
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maggrwaggr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
24. to each his own
If a woman chooses to act this way in her marriage, that's her deal and she shouldn't be judged in any way for it.

People should have the freedom to live their lives the way they choose, and that is the point.

The women's movement gave women the freedom, gave them options. I have no problem with women who want to stay home with kids and run the household. My own wife stays home right now because we have a 16 month old and neither of us would want it any other way.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #24
31. I never worked OUTSIDE the home while my daughters were growing
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 03:03 PM by efhmc
up, thanks to having a husband who was able to make enough money for this to happen. Others are not as luckly. Also, being at home did not make me into a male worshiping female with no mind of her own or someone whose whole life existed to please her man. I am, was and will always be a Feminist and raised both of my daughters to be. One is married to another Feminist and they have 2 very small sons (2 yrs and 10 days old) and both of them will grow up to be Feminists. "Dr." Laura does real harm to women and to relationships with the hogwash she preachs.
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Nobody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #31
77. I have friends who are stay at home moms and for them it was a real choice
They also get a minimum of one day a week when friends (including me) come over to discuss adult topics with them. After an entire day of dealing with age five and under, you need that adult interaction. The husbands have their own weekday to have an adults only day as well.

If a parent can stay home, and wants to, that's great. I totally support that choice. It doesn't have to be mommy, and it shouldn't be forced on you from disapproving relatives, or anyone else. (I know far too many of these situations)

Life is not a one size fits all proposition, and I resent people like "Dr" Laura who try to make it into one.

Congratulations on raising your family to respect others and to expect respect from others.
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prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #24
32. And who said anyone has a problem with women staying home?
You're right. It's all about choices and options and if that's what's best for you and your wife, I think that's great. I also think it would be great if you stayed home and she went to work.

I don't think every woman should be in the work force, nor should every woman stay home. But that's HER choice and we have to have a system in place that makes those options available.

The problem with people like Dr. Laura is that they make women and feminism a target and place everything that's wrong with society and today's family at their feet. If only women knew "their place," everything would be OK. Well, guess what?!?! That life kinda sucked if you were the woman.

What she is proposing is not that we move forward and create new paradigms for male-female interaction. But, instead, return women to a subservient role. So, yes, people like her tend to make women angry. However, that hostility is NOT aimed at woman who truly enjoy staying home and raising their families.

If I ever (BIG if here) got married, it would be to an equal partner. I don't want to dominate him any more than I would want him to dominate me.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #32
37. Great prospective. Those to me are the only relationships that work, no
matter where the give and take. I was good at some things and not so good at others and that is where my husband would step in or out according to the situation. (Okay, it didn't always work that way, but ususally.)
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Mari333 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
26. GAG
and dont forget that Baptists have the highest divorce rate in the USA! thanks to books like this.
PUHLEASE...Dr Laura still has her vagina all over the Internet, and she's touting a morals book for women?
gimme a break. Women with more then one brain cell will laugh this into oblivion.
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Muddleoftheroad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. Naked pictures don't make you immoral
I think Dr. L is laughably funny (not always intentionally so), but having a naked picture taken of you does not make you immoral. Nor does one immoral act remove you from being able to comment on morals ever after. If that were the case, NONE OF US would be able to so comment.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:24 PM
Response to Reply #29
43. (Your name is funny. ) I think where people get so upset is that she is so
morally superior and never acknowledged those pictures until she was forced to. Being a sinner and asking for and receieving forgiveness does not include that type of hypocricy.
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Muddleoftheroad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #43
46. Thanks
Oh, I agree completely. But we are all sinners and I don't see mass media filled with too many who ever apologize.
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Mari333 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #46
52. I dont believe in the concept of sin per se
I believe in the concept of free choice, and if women or men want to stand on their heads with martinis on their asses when their spouses come home, thats their personal choice.
I also believe I have the free speech right to laugh at Dr Laura and her afro vagina photos.
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Muddleoftheroad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #52
55. I do clearly believe in sin
There is a right and wrong in the world. To do what you know to be wrong is sinful in my world view. No, it doesn't have to be yours as well. But one way or another, we all know there are things we should not do.

And I never said you couldn't laugh. You wouldn't be human. :)
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:52 PM
Response to Reply #52
57. Way too much info on the mental picture of the Doc. I think taking
responsibility is what we are taking about. Not using what others have done to call them to task for their foibles except maybe as an example of how it impacted your life and how you might have info to help other avoid the same mistakes (If they are haunted by their past/present deeds and I guess they are or they would not be asking the pseudotherapist for advise.)
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Woodstock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #43
89. She said it was a sin not to forgive Bush for doing drugs
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 10:00 PM by Woodstock
But she never managed to extend that forgiveness to Clinton.

Hypocrite.
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arendt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
30. There is a propaganda message for BOTH sexes in the culture war
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 03:02 PM by arendt
Everyone here is clear on the messge to women:

be subservient.

There is an equally phony message to men:

be an ignorant macho jerk.
get your opinions from the corporate media.
attack anyone who is "different"

These messages serve to deflect the anger of
these pathetic jerks and victims of the reactionary
destruction of the American middle class onto
women and intellectuals.

The RW is sending messages to everyone, informing
them of their role in the New Dark Ages.

Can anyone bring me up to date on what happened
to "Promise Keepers", the "Fight Club" movement,
the cigar smoking cult, etc.? Is there a distinct
men's branch of the "lets go back to the Roman pater-
familias" propaganda machine? Or have all the "real" men
already got on board with Dennis Miller, Drew
Carey, Rush Limbaugh, and all the other angry-nasty
white boys?

Not to try to hijack your thread, but I think we all
agree about the direct attack on women. What I'm
asking about is the indirect recruitment of men.

arendt

on edit: forgot about eminem. Where does he fit in.
Twentysomething women: what is your social climate like?
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. Lack of respect for individuals as whatever they are, were or want to be
gives all of this hatred (and that is what it is) its powerful message.
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arendt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. Its worse than hatred, its desensitization training
I read something horrible about the Japanese Army
in China in WW2.

Apparently, they trained the army to rape and kill.
They didn't force anyone to do it. But they did force
them to attend events during which willing soldiers
did the raping and killing.

Sure enough, after the soldiers had become desensitized
to repeated presentations of unspeakably cruel actions
against defenceless captives, more soldiers volunteered.
Eventually, through peer pressure and a reward system,
the army created divisions of sickos, without forcing
anyone to do anything.

The current media barrage against women, intellectuals,
democrats by insane people like Ann Coulter (kill them,
etc.) is having its effect. More and more people are
becoming desensitized to verbal violence that invites
homosexuals to be murdered, feminists to be raped, etc.

This is getting to be one very sick culture.

arendt
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #36
39. Yikes, that is scary. Do you really think that large numbers of young men
are learning this? Also, didn't laura say something about some women liking to be raped or sexually taken or some such phrase? I think I saw a thread about that here s few weeks ago and there was actually some agreement.
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arendt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #39
47. That's why I asked about Fight Club, etc.
The amount of conditioning being applied in the mass
media is extreme.

It is almost impossible to channel surf and not
encounter either someone committing or threatening
violence (hand, knife, gun, military machine) or
some half-dressed babe either being menaced or
acting like a slut.

There is nothing left but sex and violence, and the
role models are increasingly: men = victimizer, women=
victim. The Lifetime TV channel is one long training
session in how women get to be submissive, except when
defending their babies.

TV literally makes me sick these days. I can barely
sit through the "trailers" for coming attractions in
a movie. Same messages.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fundie, I don't want to ban
sex. But the constant deluge of violence and titillation
is growing a generation of sadists.

Liberals can take back the media by saying there is a
place for healthy competition instead of violent confrontation,
a place for intelligent, sensitive, even sensual relationships
between men and women that are not based on domination
of either sex.

But all we get are guns and babes.

arendt
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #47
65. As long as that is what sells, we don't have too much of a chance of
making a difference since money is what makes it all go. The question is why does it sell and where can we attack the source? Teaching respect really does begin in the home but our lives would be so much easier if we did not have the constant barrage of garbage that surrounds us on a daily basis.
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arendt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 04:18 PM
Response to Reply #65
68. Does it really "sell" or is it merely all that is on
The internet is an alternative that more and more
people are using.

I saw a story that 18-25 year old MEN are viewing
8% less TV, according to Nielsen survey. The networks
complained that the methodology was flawed (because
they stand to lose big ad revenue), but Nielsen said
they had changed nothing.

Nielsen said these folks were doing more on the internet,
playing more video games (god save us all from GTA), and
chatting on cell phones.

So, point people at good websites. Tell them that
cable ain't worth the money.

arendt
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #68
70. I hope you are right. I think that there is nothing better than a good
book and I love the internet especially DU but I watch very little TV and that is never during prime time.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:10 PM
Response to Original message
35. Men have "needs"?
That's news to me.
I'm gonna shut up now, before I get flamed as a Patriarchal slime-pig.
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prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:21 PM
Response to Reply #35
40. No problem
meeting your needs as long as you meet mine. :-)
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 06:04 PM
Response to Reply #40
72. Always try to meet AND exceed....
And as I get older, I've learned that holds in more than just ONE room of the house....:7
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Mari333 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:55 PM
Response to Reply #35
60. I raised 3 sons and they are good people
they want the same thing women want...love, affection, kindness, being humane and being treated humanely..they all are excellent chefs, and dont have archaic views about themselves being male or women fitting specific roles and vice versa..
I always reminded them to marry their best friends. all that role playing of whats male and female is really silly, and they are learning that as they age.
They always had best friends who were girls and boys as they grew up, and believe me, its hard to raise sons in a society that demands they behave like macho assholes ---> see: World Federation Wrestling / Warmongers in the WH/etc
Men want pretty much the same thing women want..imo...now that my husband and I are older, we both are pretty much relaxed and dont take all that crap seriously. We just help each other out, as best friends.
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Logansquare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 04:17 PM
Response to Reply #60
67. You're right, good couples are always good friends
You don't need to trick someone or play games with them if the relationship is healthy. I once saw a good bumpersticker: "Men are from Earth and So are Women. Get Used to It."
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pmbryant Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:21 PM
Response to Original message
42. This author of this article about Dr. Laura is part of the problem
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 03:27 PM by pmbryant
The person writing it is clearly critical of Dr. Laura's POV (edit: well, mildly critical at least). But in the end, she blames the Dr. Laura phenomoenon on "feminism" (surprise, surprise):


Why does this retro advice resonate with so many women who can't be written off as doormats? Part of the problem is that feminism, these days, offers very little by way of an alternative. Too often (Schlessinger is right about that), it has promoted anger, rancor, and male-blaming instead of equal partnership. The majority of women do want loving relationships with men. If champions of gender equality have nothing meaningful to say on the subject, advocates of wifely submission will fill the vacuum.


Of course, the author, Cathy Young, presents absolutely no evidence or examples of any of this "anger, rancor, and male-blaming". But just throws it out as a given at the end of an article about a book that is quite explicitly about "female-blaming".

Another pathetic excuse for right-wing propaganda.

:grr:

--Peter
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #42
44. So the blaming comes full circle.
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Woodstock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #42
90. I caught that, too, the author has issues of her own
If her relationships with men have been full of "anger, rancor, and male-blaming," that's her own damned fault. Mine haven't been, nor I bet a lot of ours here.

And where are Cathy Young's alternatives? She had a great chance to say something earth shattering to best all those damned feminists, but all she did was cop out and play the blame game.
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PVnRT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:54 PM
Response to Original message
58. So, wait a second
If women are supposed to be submissive and stay in the home, what is she doing running a media empire, and writing books, and doing a radio show? Shouldn't she be at home raising the kids?

That's the right-wing for you - make everyone else do something, as long as it doesn't apply to them.
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slappypan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
62. Dr. Laura
She hates us for our freedoms.
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windansea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #62
82. LOL n/t
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Maeve Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
64. My favorite paragraphs in this article
Alas, the sensible stuff here comes with a lot of baggage. Thus, reminders that marriage is a two-way street are intended mostly for wives who forget about their obligations: Schlessinger is emphatic about her belief that the happiness of the marriage depends on the wife, and if the husband is neglecting her it's probably her own fault

and

What's more, Schlessinger's catalog of wifely sins ranges from wanting to take an extended vacation sans husband to failing to take an interest in his hobbies. And while she is certainly right that it's not "subjugation" to love a man or take pride in your marriage, must she approvingly cite a listener who writes, "Remember that without him, you are only a sorry excuse for a person"?

How can anyone take this Laura person seriously? :eyes:

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Nobody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #64
78. What an insult to single women everywhere
I wonder if the so called "doctor" with a degree in physiology not psychology has considered quitting her radio show and submerging her personality in her husband. I assume she has a husband, right? I also assume she isn't divorced, either, and if so, it must be her fault and hers alone. how much alimony is she paying him?

/sarcasm
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lolly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #78
86. My take on anti-feminist women . . .
Personally, I think the Schlafly/Coulter/Schlesinger types are ticked because they're not considered special for being successful.

They need to see themselves as superior to other women. It's those other women who need to recognize that they don't belong in the competitive world of men, that they need to debase themselves to men. Only super-special women, women who are "one of the guys" types, should enter that world, and then everyone should ooo and aahh and compliment these exceptions for "not being like most women."

Not sure I explained that very clearly--does that make sense to anyone?

They want to be prodigies--but no one will notice how great they are if lots of other women are becoming lawyers and getting advanced degrees and writing newspaper articles, etc. etc. It's much nicer when they're recognized as The Only Woman in the Room with the Big Guys.
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Woodstock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #86
91. Exactly - that's why she dropped orthodox judaism
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 10:10 PM by Woodstock
They weren't making enough of a fuss over her.

Those women bashers think they are going to be such a hit with the men.

It's really an insult to men - she thinks they are so easy to fool.

Good men get along fine with good women - and are able to see through her like glass.
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Tracer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
66. Cathy Young (the article's author) ...
... writes regular editorials in the Boston Globe.

She is a confirmed right wing hack — but the Globe gives her page space to "balance out" the editorial page.
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LiberalFighter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 04:56 PM
Response to Original message
69. Does she practice what she preaches???
Must not if she is out of the home and not taking care of her husband.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
73. what part of submission includes having beaver shots on the internet?
someone HAS to ask
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Alenne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #73
75. She was submitting to her boyfriend
She really didn't want to take the pictures. He forced her. Really, he did.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
76. I once read an article by a fundamentalist preacher
who was an absolutist about wives and children submitting to "the man of the house."

When asked, "What if your husband/father orders you to do something immoral?" this preacher replied,"You should tell him that what he is asking is immoral, but that you will submit to his wishes because you love God."

And as a liberal Christian, I say :puke: to that sentiment!

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arewethereyet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 07:25 PM
Response to Original message
79. its across the boards folks
lets not forget "ho's".

they're considered lucky just to become wives.

I'm amazed at just how far backard women have fallen in the last 5-10 years.
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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
83. What a load of crap!!
Why any thinking woman would take "Doctor" Laura's advice even remotely seriously is beyond me.

Personally, I don't want a man (boy) that I have to "feed and care for properly" in the first place. I want a man who is secure enough in his manhood to function as a proper adult and not as some whiny child who needs his fragile ego stroked at all times. I expect no less from myself as well.

The problem is that women in general need to reach a level of self-esteem and self-worth where they will not accept sole responsibility for making another person, any person, happy. We need to take care of our own needs first and all goodwill toward others naturally flows from that self-nurture.

The way I see it, is that if I stay true to myself, then I will end up with someone who respects and honors my humanity and who isn't looking for a mommy, slave girl, whore in the first place.

I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to have to play these ridiculous games merely to secure some male companionship.
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efhmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #83
85. I think you said it all.Thanks.
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ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
84. What kind of "man"
wants a woman that is completely submissive to him? Why would you want a relationship where your wife/girlfriend/whatever is your servant and not your equal???

:wtf:

I really don't get it.

But, then again, why would women take advice on family matters from such a psychopath like "Dr" Laura?
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Woodstock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-04 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
87. BLEAH!
Edited on Mon Feb-02-04 09:52 PM by Woodstock
"Dr." Laura dumped Judaism when they didn't hold a parade in her honor every day, and now she is cozying up to the so-called Christian Right by advocating Stepford Wives. What a sad little person she is.
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