Pardoned turkey should face death penalty, insist Republicans

[T_i_B]

http://newsthump.com/2011/11/24/pardoned-turkey-should-face-death-penalty-insist-republicans/

The thanksgiving turkey pardoned by President Obama yesterday should face death by lethal injection after looking at the president’s daughter Malia in the wrong way, republican hard-liners claimed last night.

Despite the tradition which dates back to the 1989, republicans say the decision to pardon the suspected-homosexual turkey is further evidence that the Democrat administration has gone soft on sexually-deviant oven-ready poultry.

However, while the beleaguered president joked that the pardon was something he could do without the approval of an obstructive Congress, unhinged republican leadership challenger Rick Perry insisted, “Oh no you fucking can’t “.

Meanwhile, rival fruitcake Michele Bachmann claimed the turkey’s feathers represented moral weakness and that it would encourage citizens to pursue a masturbatory agenda even after its neck had been wrung.

[dipsydoodle]

1. “Oh no you fucking can’t “

:rofl:

[baldguy]

2. Death by lethal injection

of clove butter and oyster stuffing.

[meow2u3]

3. Who said turkeys don't vote?

Obama added, “They say turkeys don’t vote for Christmas, but I’m gonna make sure as hell these two suckers vote for me.”

Obama is wrong about turkeys not voting. If turkeys didn't vote, we'd have a Democratic Congress! :D

[libinnyandia]

4. Equating turkeys to republicans is an insult to turkeys.

[meow2u3]

5. I take that back. I should have called them vultures.

:evilgrin:

[libinnyandia]

6. Vultures have a very useful function in nature. Republicans have

no positive function, except to provide material for late night tv hosts.