Garrison Keillor: Moms love the bad eggs more

[babylonsister]

;)

Moms love the bad eggs more

She devotes her life to a creep like Larry, but what about me? I'm the son who does everything I can to make her proud.

By Garrison Keillor


May 6, 2009 | I was going to visit my mother on Sunday and bring her a jonquil and a ballpoint pen for Mother's Day, but that's all off thanks to my brother, who is awaiting trial for mail fraud. His lawyers have asked me not to discuss his case, and so I won't, except to say that he's guilty, the little stinker, and richly deserves what's coming to him, but of course you can't tell Mother that.

She turns 94 this week and still lives in her own home, drives her own car and only recently gave up playing senior women's hockey. She was tough, let me tell you, and as she slowed down, she resorted more and more to high-sticking and tripping. As she says, "Old age is not for the timid. I didn't get to be 94 by baking lots of sugar cookies."

I went shopping for a Mother's Day gift at a clothing store but, as it turned out, it was a men's store. So as long as I was there, I bought myself a few nice suits.

And anyway, Mom said, "No gifts for me until Larry gets out of the pokey." I said, "Mom, Larry was selling Powerball Bibles with the winning number hidden in Scripture. He was selling stock options to evangelicals with the promise that the Lord would come again in 2008. It didn't happen. He's going to spend 10 to 15 years making license plates." She said, "So he misread prophecy. He's not the first." I said, "Ma, he misread it to the tune of $16 million in profit to himself that is sitting in a bank in the Bahamas."

She said, "You can't believe everything you read in the papers." I said, "Ma, he's been a liar and a cheat since he was a kid. Remember for your birthday he used to give you those little certificates that said 'Good for one hug' and 'Good for doing dishes' -- Ma, you never collected on those. It was a scam." She said, "I kept them. I loved the way he made the little certificate curlicues with his green crayon."

There were four of us, Larry, me, my other brother who works in a small dim office and does something he can't explain, and my sister the singer-songwriter. She recently had her lower lip pierced and a large wooden disc implanted in it which she says gives her more resonance.

more...

http://www.salon.com/opinion/keillor/2009/05/06/mothers_day/

[Lorien]

1. There is some truth to that; the ol' "squeaky wheel gets the grease" saying

isn't so off the mark for many families. Ours was like that; my younger sister did the whole punk thing at 16; got a mohawk, piercings, wore the goth/ punk uniform. She did drugs, dated a dealer, got STDs, shoplifted, and finally had one child out of wedlock at 19 and a second at 37, both by different men. She rarely held down a job for more than six months, but my mother is completely devoted to her. Buys her whatever she wants, does her laundry, looks after her kid-she's always got an excuse for her, just like the mom in the OP. I really don't know why so much trouble seems so attractive to some people!

[babylonsister]

2. My younger sister got away with a lot, too. But she was 'the baby'.

At 51, she still is. But I'm kind of used to it by now. ;)

[DemBones DemBones]

3. Mothers tend to favor the one they see as "wounded" and

more in need of love. It's a guilt thing, I guess; "It must be my fault he's like that."