SWINE FLU: GOD’S LATEST PUNISHMENT OF IDOL-WORSHIP

[Autonomy]

(Note: After reading a few posts here on DU about how conservatives and corporations are causing swine flu for profit, I decided to check out what the conservative kooks are saying about it. They certainly did not let me down. I've come to the conclusion that we on the Left have a better class of kook.)

Praise Jesus! The Lord is back.

I have a confession to make. I’m not a perfect Christian. Sometimes, I lose confidence in God. I’m always apologetic to Jesus after that happens, but let’s face it: God doesn’t punish nonbelievers today to the same degree He did in the days of old. Granted, the tsunami was a fairly powerful sanction on those Orientals who worship everything from cows to obese men with feet where their hands should be. Katrina certainly taught those partiers, sodomites and Kwanzaa celebrants a valuable lesson. And as Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson aptly observed, 9/11 reflected God’s fury for our tolerance of abortionists and homos. But lately, the Lord’s slaughter has been limited to the occasional flood, tornado and plane crash which involve just handfuls of nonbelieving sinners. But no more! The Lord is back with a vengeance.

Granted, this epidemic is starting to infect people who don’t belong to the filthy Catholic cult. But those victims had no business visiting that worthless wasteland of lazy idlers anyway. The Lord has never been good at exacting his vengeance with pinpoint accuracy. After all, the infants and unborn babies who died in the Great Flood and the fire and brimstone of Sodom and Gomorrah weren’t particularly culpable criminals, the firstborn children in Egypt couldn’t really be blamed for the Lord’s beef with the pharoah and locusts generally don’t limit themselves to the bad guys. But hey, whenever God goes on a killing spree to rid us of the wicked, it’s inevitable that there will be collateral damage. Let’s just pray that the INS strengthens its border patrols so wetbacks don’t spread the disease any further into this great nation.

Of course, there is a silver lining to every tragedy. If this disease continues to spread in Mexico, it could substantially reduce our illegal immigration problem. Perhaps that is God’s goal. The Lord does work in mysterious ways.

http://baptistsforbrown2008.wordpress.com/2009/04/26/swine-flu-gods-latest-punishment-of-idol-worship/

[YOY]

1. Tell me this is satire...

n/t

[Why Syzygy]

2. Please tell me that is satire.

It isn't that I don't believe that level of ignorance exists. I just can't believe someone would say it in public.

[hedgehog]

3. Oh, my! taht site seems to be for people who think the Freepers aren't pure enough!

[Why Syzygy]

4. It's for real. I think they belong to the Phelps church. Gotta be. nt

[flakey_foont]

5. oh, puh-leeze!

[sledgehammer]

6. Read one of the author's responses to a comment

One comment from "Emily" basically said that "Tiffany" (the author) was full of hate and was shocked by her views.

Here's Tiffany's response. Just incredible!

**********

Emily,

If you have problems with what I wrote, I suggest you take them up with God. I’m not the one who flooded the planet, killing every man, woman, child, infant and unborn baby (except for that drunk exhibitionist, Noah and his family) with the Great Flood. I’m not the one who burned to death everyone in Sodom and Gomorrah (with the exception of incestuous Lot and his soon-to-be pillar of salt wife). I’m not the one who killed all the first born children in Egypt because of the actions of the country’s leader. I’m not the one who sent bears to maul to death several dozen children because they poked fun at a bald prophet. I’m not the one who told the Israelites to kill every man, woman and child in the villages they invaded (and even to kill the trees). Etc., etc., etc.

What is your beef with me? God is the one who has slaughtered countless nonbelievers. Frankly, I happen to support his actions (unlike Bobby G, who instead finds outrageous and downright silly rationalizations for them). But I’m not the one who has killed the wicked. That has been God. Don’t shoot the messenger!

Tiffany

**********

[sledgehammer]

7. The more I look at this site, the more I think it's satire

Here's a post on the main page. Sounds very The Onion-ish.

**********

"I was scrapbooking yesterday when the Lord Jesus appeared to me. Without so much as a hello, He said the following: “I’m ready to get the other one. It’s going to be a theme — with a twist!” He seemed pleased with Himself, which is not unusual so I didn’t remark. I did ask Him what He was about to do, but He was gone before I could put down my scissors and glue.

Of course, when I saw the news this morning, I knew exactly what He was about to do: Kill Beverly Eckert. Jesus had killed Mrs. Eckert’s husband by refusing to answer his fervent prayers to spare him as the World Trade Center towers smoldered around him. Jesus told me about how He instead watched, mesmerized, as those buildings compressed and crumbled into an enormous cloud of dusty debris.

Jesus never told me what Mr. & Mrs. Eckert did to annoy Him so much that He would have them both killed in such a horrible fashion. One by a crashing jet, the other in a crashing jet. I’m sure that Beverly thought she had managed to avoid Jesus’ ready wrath, smugly assuming that our Lord had exacted the full measure of his vengeance on 9/11. But you just never know, do you? You never know when Jesus will strike again. Let this be a valuable lesson to all you smug folks out there that think you have gotten away, scot free, with your sins. You haven’t. Jesus has a long memory. And He will hunt you down and get you. Count on it."

[Why Syzygy]

11. I don't think satire is that hateful and cruel. They draw a line.

If it IS satire, it crosses the line.

[sledgehammer]

13. That's true...n/t

[sledgehammer]

14. Got this from some random discussion board

"The Baptists for Brown website is strictly a parody. This is not genuine fundiness; it's in the same league as Landover Baptist or The Onion."

http://www.fstdt.com/forums/thread.aspx?t=16516

Of course, that's just a random comment, so can't rely on it. But I'm leaning towards that belief. Still, as you say, it crosses the line if it's satire.

[Why Syzygy]

16. m'kay, it is

but satirists are not generally actually cruel, as these folks clearly are. They refer to it as "art".

http://blogs4moonbats.wordpress.com/2007/07/08/baptists-for-brownback/

[sledgehammer]

17. I agree, they are a little over the top for my taste. n/t

[damntexdem]

19. The Night of the Hunter.

Religious psychopaths do exist, a good many of them.

But most are not as photogenic as Robert Mitchum.

[Ilsa]

8. There is alot of spiritual damage from the 1970's, 80's, and 90's (caused

by fundamentalists and RW nutjobs) to be undone over the next 100 years. These people live vicariously under their own beliefs by judging others the way they do. "God" has a way of playing dirty tricks on them for their sanctimoniousness, according to their own rules and beliefs. Something bad almost always happens. Statistically, it seems like it is bound to happen to anyone.

All I can say is, we can step back and say, "I told you so" when they get theirs, and we don't even have to have their beliefs to do it.

[Why Syzygy]

9. That place is unfreakinbelieable.

This is on their "Hellbound" page. I know some folks who would like this one:
http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page

Note the warning:
WARNING: Before visiting any of the following links you are cautioned to say the following prayer.

IN JESUS NAME, I BIND UP EVERY DEMON COMING ACROSS THE COMPUTER LINES, AND I RETURN THEM AND ANY CURSES.IN JESUS NAME, I COVER MYSELF IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. I COVER THIS COMPUTER AND THE INTERNET ROAD I TRAVEL IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. I TAKE AUTHORITY AND DOMINION OVER ALL WEB SITES, WEB MASTERS, WEB DOMAINS, AND DEMONS OF THE INTERNET SUPER HIGHWAY SO THEY DO NOT CROSS MY PATH. I DISPATCH ANGELS AHEAD OF ME TO PROTECT ME.

IN JESUS NAME, I CUT ALL UNGODLY SILVER CORDS AND LAY LINES.

AS YOUR WAR CLUB AND WEAPONS OF WAR I BREAK DOWN, UNDAM, AND BLOW UP ALL WALLS OF PROTECTION AROUND ALL HOMOSEXUALS, WITCHES, WARLOCKS, WIZARDS, SATANISTS, ATHEISTS, LIBERALS, DEMOCRATS, SORCERERS, AND THE LIKE, AND I BREAK THE POWER OF ALL CURSES, HEXES, VEXES, SPELLS, CHARMS, FETISHES, PSYCHIC PRAYERS, PSYCHIC THOUGHTS, ALL WITCHCRAFT, SORCERY, SATIRE, PARODY, MAGIC, VOODOO, ALL MIND CONTROL, JINXES, POTIONS, BEWITCHMENTS, DEATH, DESTRUCTION, SICKNESS, PAIN, TORMENT, PSYCHIC POWER, PSYCHIC WARFARE, PRAYER CHAINS, INCENSE AND CANDLE BURNING, INCANTATIONS, CHANTING, UNGODLY BLESSINGS AND HOODOO, CRYSTALS, AND EVERYTHING ELSE BEING SENT MY WAY, OR MY FAMILY MEMBER’S WAY, OR ANY CHRISTIAN MINISTRIES WAY, AND I RETURN IT, AND THE DEMONS TO THE SENDER, TEN FOLD.

AMEN.
http://baptistsforbrown2008.wordpress.com/sow/

[YOY]

10. Mental I'llness. That poster haz it!

or a really warped sense of humor for all that is RW fundie.

[sledgehammer]

12. I think it's just one big parody on repugs/jesus-freaks n/t

[sledgehammer]

15. Definitely a parody...

There's a page for membership, and the "Join Online" link will send an email to [e-mail]

(link: http://baptistsforbrown2008.wordpress.com/important-site-news/)

That, and the waaaaay over-the-top posts are enough evidence to convince me that this site is a parody.

Not very classy humor though. Making fun of the 9/11 widow who died in a plane crash? Not cool at all.

ETA: Each "Join Online" reference links to a different email/site.

[madrchsod]

18. they link to left and right sites

[Autonomy]

20. I have found nothing stated with tongue in cheek

on the site, though I haven't read a whole lot. We can't assume that it's a joke just because we cannot believe someone would say this stuff. For me, the jury is still out on whether this is a poor attempt at satire, or is real and sincere. I am leaning toward the latter.

Either way, it's very twisted stuff.

[sledgehammer]

23. I'm pretty sure it's satire

If you go to their membership page...

http://baptistsforbrown2008.wordpress.com/important-site-news

...the "join online" links go to various different email addresses like [e-mail], [e-mail], and some weird websites as well. And the prices are ridiculous - $600, $400, $300 annually.

This is not a serious site, it's satire. But tasteless satire, IMO. They make fun of the 9/11 widow who died recently in a plane crash. Read some more of the articles - it's way over the top stuff.

Someone upthread also posted this link:

http://blogs4moonbats.wordpress.com/2007/07/08/baptists-for-brownback/

[Butch350]

21. Well...if that is the case - why didn't GOD...

put a f**king repug in the WH this time around? Whats that you say mr/mrs repug - GOD is punishing you for voting McCain?Palin.

[burning rain]

22. Seems some folks need to install a new mad satire detector.

I mean, come on.