Bad Science: Metaphorically speaking.................

[LongTomH]

The full title of this op-ed at the Guardian UK website is: Metaphorically speaking, Pepsi's gibberish is hard to swallow.

The author is commenting on a PR puff piece released on the internet by the Pepsi-Cola people. Subject: The 'science' behind their new logo.

"By investing in our history and brand ethos we can create a new trajectory forwards," they explain in the opening pages. This is entirely reasonable. A cognitive linguist by the name of George Lakoff has done some fascinating (and no doubt gruelling) empirical work on metaphors in English literature. He has shown, for example, that we often conceive of the abstract in terms of the concrete: anger is an overheated fluid in a sealed vessel, emotional states are locations, and fascinatingly, we don't just talk about things in this way, we may also reason using these metaphors.

How else can you explain the fact that "baby, we're riding in the fast lane on the freeway of love" is so instantly meaningful to us? Perhaps - and this is speculation - we think about abstract things using brain hardware that originally evolved to deal with more simple visuo-spatial manipulations.

I am open to new ideas. Lakoff may or may not be entirely correct, but he is not throwing words around at random: his ideas are often coherent and stimulating, and they may have explanatory force for real world phenomena. Let us return to the Pepsi document. It is gibberish. "The investment in our DNA leads to breakthrough innovation and allows us to move out of the traditional linear system into the future". This is accompanied by a helpful diagram, which is reproduced for your delight on this page. "The Pepsi DNA finds its origin in the dynamic of perimeter oscillations," they explain. There is talk of an "authentic geometry". "The breathtaking colour palette is derived," they explain, "using a scientific method of colour assignment based on the product's essence and primary features." They go on to discuss "attraction theory", and the "Pepsi proposition".

Somehow this reminds me of a quote from one of Terry Pratchett's novels: "It was garbage; but, it had been cooked by an expert. Oh yes! You had to admire the way perfectly innocent words were mugged, ravished, stripped of all true meaning and decency, and then sent to walk the gutter.........."

The author is Ben Goldacre, who writes a weekly Bad Science column for the Guardian and runs the Bad Science blog.

By the way, the quote was from Terry Pratchett's novel: Going Postal. I recommend it without reservation.

[Xipe Totec]

1. In other news, Coke-Sponsored Rover Finds Evidence Of Dasani On Mars

PASADENA, CA—The Coca-Cola-sponsored Real Rover has discovered evidence that the surface of Mars was once partially covered by free-flowing Dasani, scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced Monday.



"The Real Rover's instruments found signs that cool, refreshing Dasani once drenched the surface of the Red Planet," said Dr. Marvin Chen, NASA space-science administrator and temporary liaison to Coca-Cola. "This discovery is so exciting, because it indicates that the Red Planet may have once hosted a healthy, active, fun-filled microscopic life. You see, Dasani would have been as vital to Martian lifeforms as it is to their terrestrial counterparts."


http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30505

[BlooInBloo]

2. hahaha! The Pepsi piece sounds like it was written by Alan Sokal!

:rofl:

[Joe Chi Minh]

3. I'll bet there isn't another country on earth whose people make such an effort to

express themelves in the most colourful metaphors imaginable. This mania for the poetic, however, comes from the strangest sources.

Instead of effete and languid aeshetes, it's the hard-nosed business types, the boxers and the like, who seem to be the authors of these metaphorical flights of fancy. Imagine thinking up a synonym for the word "crashed" (as in write-off) in relation to a car, and coming up with "totalled"! But you come across more examples on the Net every week. No wonder your more modern literature, at least, is so rich, compared to ours.

[Confusious]

4. By investing in our history and brand ethos we can create a new trajectory forwards

Marketing bullshit-speak

[Confusious]

5. F*ck! more bullshit-speak

The investment in our DNA leads to breakthrough innovation and allows us to move out of the traditional linear system into the future". This is accompanied by a helpful diagram, which is reproduced for your delight on this page. "The Pepsi DNA finds its origin in the dynamic of perimeter oscillations," they explain. There is talk of an "authentic geometry". "The breathtaking colour palette is derived," they explain, "using a scientific method of colour assignment based on the product's essence and primary features." They go on to discuss "attraction theory", and the "Pepsi proposition"

I hate this shit. There's nothing more annoying then someone who knows bullshit about bullshit trying to make a buck.