How do I get sentenced to ten years at Bernie's?

[babylonsister]

http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/19744

How do I get sentenced to ten years at Bernie's?
by Bob Higgins | January 14, 2009

The Manhattan apartment building where Bernard L. Madoff lives on New York City's Upper East Side.

AP Photo by Brian McDermott



What crime do I have to commit to get sentenced to house arrest at Bernie Madoff's Manhattan apartment.

Bear in mind that I'm not a ruthless guy, I'm no more venal than the average Joe, but in spite of a weak resume I am willing to work at this.

I'm advancing in age more rapidly every day and my social security and veterans pensions are being steadily diminished by inflation, fuel prices, governmental and corporate incompetence and criminality.

This economy, cut backs at the VA, and my disabilities have me scratching for beans in my "golden years," and an extended weekend at Bernie's (say ten years) is just what I need.

I'm not looking for a handout here, I'm willing to work, within limits. I'll pick pockets, defraud innocent people of their money, destroy their lives, their futures and the futures of their heirs. I'm an honest guy, what does it take to get remanded to custody in that Manhattan hellhole?

I won't do violence though, as Muhammad Ali once said of the Vietnamese, "I'll beat 'em" up, but I won't kill 'em.

What do I have to do to get sentenced to Bernie's.

[Taverner]

1. White Collar Crime

[w4rma]

2. Really, really big white collar crime. (nt)

[hobbit709]

3. Extreme really, really big white collar crime.

[kenny blankenship]

4. Have unnatural, non-consensual relations with a billion dollars of other people's money

[notadmblnd]

5. steal million and billions and gazallions and brazillians of dollars

don't rob a liquor store for 300.00 though. That will land you 10 years in the slammer.

[vicman]

6. Thanks for posting this...

it is the best, and saddest, laugh I'll have all day. He hit it right on the head.

[DCKit]

7. You've got to be a member of the all-male, fat, rich, white bastards club.

But you're waaaayyyyyy to nice for that crowd.

[Mind_your_head]

8. Well, that IS what's wrong with this country, isn't it!

We're living in a "topsy-turvy" upside-down world today, where the guy/gal who robs a store for $300 gets a ten year sentence and a guy/gal who steals BILLIONS ~ with a "B" ~ gets to stay at his luxury apartment.

The message is that "white collar crime" isn't 'serious'. However, it IS serious, even MORE serious than a $300 robbery.

As the saying goes, "No punishment makes it easier for even more "white collar criminals" to work their nefarious deeds/schemes. White-collar-criminals don't have to worry about much of a punishment, as this precedent demonstrates. THAT HAS TO CHANGE!

One would THINK that all of the investors who lost their money would be 'angry as hell' at this guy, wouldn't you? They're *not so much*......is that b/c they figured that there was a scam going on, but as long as they were 'on the winning end', they'd turn a blind eye? My guess is, 'probably'.