Could you look at my LTTE, regarding this Sunday editorial?

[m-jean03]

And tell me if it sounds OK?
Thanks, I appreciate it.

Here's the editorial
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/164099_march14skip.html

Here's my letter:

To Chi-Dooh Li,

May I suggest you check the facts you use to defend wars ("Iraq a year later: Breaking away from the herd and rethinking the war" Sunday, March 14th)? I know the current Bush White House could care less for factual integrity, but that's no reason for everyone else's standards to slip.

While the Communist regime that took over Vietnam after the war was far from ideal -- and certainly many people have suffered from injustices under its policies -- it was and is in no way related or even comparable to the murderous regime of the Khmer Rouge in neighboring Cambodia. In fact, the Vietnamese heroically fought and defeated the Khmer Rouge not long after their two-decade long battle with France and America ended.

By using the words of a Cambodian refugee to justify the war in Vietnam you are not making any real sense. You are only manipulating the minds of people whose knowledge of history is befuddled and incomplete.

M. Steele

[Supormom]

1. An excellent editorial.

I would not change a thing.

[Florida_Geek]

2. Send it nt

[cmayer]

3. A few suggestions.

No matter your own feelings, there is no need to praise the Viet Nam Communists. You are going to have words chopped out of your letter, so start with the least important.

For instance: "While the Communist regime that took over Vietnam after the war was far from ideal -- and certainly many people have suffered from injustices under its policies -- it was and is in no way related or even comparable to the murderous regime of the Khmer Rouge in neighboring Cambodia. In fact, the Vietnamese heroically fought and defeated the Khmer Rouge not long after their two-decade long battle with France and America ended."


The Communist regime that took over Vietnam had no relation to the murderous regime of the Khmer Rouge in neighboring Cambodia. The Vietnamese fought and defeated the Khmer Rouge not long after their two-decade long battle with France and America ended.

[m-jean03]

4. You don't think I should say

"While the communist regime was far from ideal"...and the part about Vietnamese suffering injustice ?

Thank you and welcome to DU!

[cmayer]

5. It may be true ...

but it doesn't emphasize your point. The editors are going to cut your letter in ways you are not going to like. It's better to try to get down to essentials right away, IMHO.

Thanks for the welcome. I'm finding the range of viewpoints here very stimulating.

[m-jean03]

6. Stimulating? I like to use the word "dizzying", myself

:-) but "stimulating" works as well.

[Disturbed]

7. I agree

Cut to the quick. Be concise,factual and agressive.

[JohnLocke]

8. Minor sentence structure suggestion...

By using the words of a Cambodian refugee to justify the war in Vietnam you are not making any real sense.
---
I'd switch to a more active and less awkward structure and tone.
---
Using the words of a Cambodian refugee to justify the Vietnam War makes little, if any, sense.
---
Other than that, your letter is perfect.

[JohnLocke]

9. Minor word choice / redundancy suggestion

"...current Bush White House..."

You should turn that into "Bush adminstration" or simply "White House."

[Kenneth ken]

10. one of my pet peeves

"...could caare less..." = cares somewhat
"...couldn't care less..." = does not care at all