Ending The Ugly Season

[singingbiscuit]

The Snap

My family and I were on board a cruise ship to the Maritime Provinces of Canada last month, in part to celebrate my birthday (Mom treated me to the cruise – thanks, Mom!) and in part to celebrate the fall colors of the Northeast with 3,500 strangers from all over the world. Approximately 1,000 of those strangers were staff on board the Norwegian cruise liner, representing over 60 different countries and all performing amazing feats of patience, caring and endurance I never imagined possible. This was my first (and maybe only) cruise, so I wasn’t used to the sheer number of people involved, and the size of the operation staggered my imagination. But the thing that stays with me the most is the diversity of people I encountered on this trip.

The cruise took place two weeks before the November presidential elections in the U.S., and it seemed everyone was aware of the importance and implications even among those who are not U.S. citizens. Among those of us who are, I sensed a little “politics fatigue” … or maybe I was just projecting. It was very good to get away from the constant reminders of the McCain/Obama race for a little while, even though CNN and Fox News were streaming into various TVs around the ship just in case we forgot in our cruise-happy oblivion.

The passengers were mostly pleasant and polite folks, seemingly from many different walks of life. Of course, there were no obviously poor people on board (except possibly for those who spent too much time in the casino), outside of the most manual labor sectors of the staff, I presume, perhaps wrongly. There were people of every color and ethnicity, varying degrees of English proficiency, disabilities and abilities, interests, ages, dress, attitudes and customs. And we all got along, most of the time, and managed to avoid discussions of a political nature.

There was one moment I want to share, when the veneer of polite respectability cracked and an ugly trend in our nation’s temperament showed through. My husband and I were standing in an elevator (there were 13 decks on this ship) and overheard a couple of North American women talking about a late-breaking news item concerning two white supremacists who had just been foiled in an attempt to assassinate Senator Obama.

There was a brief pause among the passengers: The two women, my husband and me, and a white man who looked to be in his sixties and who was facing us at the front of the car. I remember shaking my head, thinking of how hard it must be for a man running for the highest office in the land to be plagued by hateful halfwits who only see his color. After a second, this man standing next to us, a nicely dressed, polite looking man, who you might never associate with an overtly violent act, did something I couldn’t believe. He snapped his fingers loudly. Swung his arm and snapped in the silence, in the nonverbal way of saying, “Too bad they didn’t get to complete the job!” The two women tittered nervously, whether they thought it was funny or didn’t know any other way to react. My usually cool-headed husband was audibly fuming behind me. I looked the man square in the face and said, simply, “That’s ugly.” He grinned at me, as if to say, “Don’t hate me – I didn’t mean it,” and the elevator door opened and my husband and I fled. We wanted to put as much space between that scene and ourselves.

This event didn’t ruin the cruise for us; this message is by no means a complaint about rude cruise passengers or an attempt to paint all well-to-do white folks with a broad brush. We had a wonderful time, met lots of kind, generous, good-humored people on this trip. This one incident, which happened on the last night of the cruise, is significant for me simply because it reminded me of how much work there is to do in our society to make us civil. I remember when this type of stunt, the finger-snapping, might have been something you’d expect from an ill-mannered juvenile who was enjoying brief freedom from his better-intentioned parents. The kind of kid to whom someone of this man’s vintage might have said, “Shame on you!” This man was of the bourgeois, of the ruling class. He’s one of those so-called adults – the conservatives who rejoiced that the “adults were back in charge” when George W. Bush became president.

I wonder who considers this man a role model. And whether I should be afraid of them. I’m also glad that I was able to think of something – anything – to say to him. This was no time for nervous chuckling or silence. It was time to speak up and tell him that kind of behavior isn’t going to pass as acceptable, not anymore. It’s time for the ugly season to end. Peace to you all.

[Jade Fox]

1. This is what two decades of RW (hate) talk radio has gotten us....

But of course, Rush claims he's just an entertainer, that he's just joking. But it's creeps like Limbaugh who have said it is okay to behave as you described this man behaving.

A few years ago a co-worker posted a "joke" on the company email about Hilary Clinton getting assassinated. I confronted her on it (even though I had just been hired) and she seemed surprised that I found it offensive. Jeez, since when is it funny to joke about anyone getting assassinated?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

2. Singingbiscuit, this is a wonderful essay

I jsut saw this now, thank you for including the link in your other post.

I know the nervous tittering women commonly do when we're actually angry, and I know the "oh gee, I was just joking" brand of denial that is so common to men. (Just observing gender differentiated behaviors--I find it interesting)

I'm so glad you did speak out. I think as more people are influenced to see themselves, like the Idaho mayor who was compelled to apologize, and also remarked on his face to face experience,how inspiring Obama actually was---the more people will be influenced to positive change!

Remember, people came out in droves to vote for Obama and Biden. That means there are alot of people who prefer the BEAUTIFUL season!

[psychmommy]

3. do not assume class status because someone was on a cruise.

i have been on a few cruises and own a time share but, i am lower middle class at best, single mom. i understand your point in the op-but, think about the mccain/palin video-the white guy with the obama monkey. the folks in the crowd, although mostly caucasian were diverse in their class status and mental capacity. that was someone's pop pop/dad, uncle or neighbor. someone is looking up to those jerks.