The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 346

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The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 346

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 346

July 28, 2008
Supermarket Sweep Edition

This week John McCain (1,2,3,4,5) takes the cake, George W. Bush (6) steals a drink, and Duncan Hunter (10) goes after... wildebeest? As usual, don't forget the key!

John McCain

Last week Barack Obama travelled to Kuwait and Iraq, where he conferred with Gen. Petraeus, sank a three-point shot in front of cheering troops, and had his withdrawal plan endorsed by the Iraqi Prime Minister. He then met heads of state in Afghanistan, Jordan, Israel, and Palestine, before speaking to 200,000 people in Germany. Obama finished his trip by visiting with the President of France and the Prime Minister of Great Britain.

John McCain, meanwhile, had planned a trip of his own. First he headed north to spend some time with his old pal George H.W. Bush.

The former president wore a tan jacket, white turtleneck and gray slacks as he stood on the lawn of his summer estate with the Republican candidate following a pair of fund-raisers that featured tours and a photo op. But the 84-year-old father of President George W. Bush wasn't there to hit any curveballs.

When asked about Barack Obama's strategy in Iraq, Bush smiled. "I defer to Sen. McCain on that," he said softly. "I don't follow this day to day anymore. I sit by the ocean and watch the tide come in and go out."

How delightful.

Let's get a taste of those visuals. Here's Obama flying around Iraq in a helicopter with Gen. Petraeus:

And here's McCain driving around Kennebunkport in a golfcart with Poppy:

Now that's some real quality stagecraft by the McCain campaign there. See how they've cleverly managed to associate their candidate with the name "Bush" while simultaneously making him look older than an octagenarian?

Next, McCain stopped off in Columbus, OH and paid a visit to Schmidt's Restaurant and Banquet Haus (which appears to be comprised of Schmidt's Sausage Haus and Schmidt's Fudge Haus). Here he took the opportunity to complain about Obama talking to people overseas, even though up until about a week ago he was constantly complaining about how Obama wasn't talking to people overseas.

"Well, I'd love to give a speech in Germany ... a political speech or a speech that maybe the German people would be interested in," he said. "But I would much prefer to do it as president of the United States rather than as a candidate for the office of the presidency."

Got that, Sen. Obama? A presidential candidate should under no circumstances go off to foreign countries and give speeches. Unless, of course, the presidential candidate is called John McCain and the foreign countries are Canada, Colombia, and Mexico, in which case it's perfectly okay.

You can understand McCain getting grouchy though - after all, his speeches don't usually draw crowds like this:

So I guess he'll just have to stick to the Fudge Haus for now.

Finally, John McCain spent some time mingling with the commoners at a supermarket in Bethlehem, PA. According to Newsweek:

When John McCain descended on a Bethlehem, Penn. grocery store late yesterday afternoon, the unscheduled campaign stop, meant to highlight McCain's concern over skyrocketing food prices, instead quickly became a theater for the absurd. First, a cameraman knocked over several glass jars of Mott's applesauce, which rolled near McCain's feet as he posed for a bevy of cameras while strolling the grocery aisles. Then, the senator's hastily assembled press conference, held in front of a perishable food case labeled "Dairy Delights," was interrupted by the scream of the store's P.A. system announcing a staffer had a phone call.

Finally, there was the fact that Renee Gould, the young mother McCain had an extended chat with about the high price of tomatoes and milk, was not a random shopper, but an area resident funneled to the campaign by the local Republican Party. Gould's admission (a reporter cornered her and asked how she came to be there) was ultimately not all that surprising. Even with the amusing mishaps, the entire event came off as canned, and McCain - whose discomfort with the phoniness required by politics has always been evident - spent most of his time shifting uncomfortably.

So that's meeting the president of France...

...and shifting uncomfortably in the juice aisle.

More kudos to the McCain campaign: the "Dole" visual is a great touch.

John McCain and the Media

Poor John McCain. The first African-American politician with a real chance to become president of the U.S.A. went to the Middle East and Europe, and for some reason the media found this vaguely important. Those bastards. Fortunately McCain has an old copy of the GOP playbook which reveals that there's a time-honored solution to a dilemma like this: Start whining, whine as loud as you can, and don't stop whining, ever.

Obama, as the McCain camp acidly notes, is being covered wall-to-wall by a press horde that includes not only the usual cable TV personalities, but also by the anchors of the three broadcast network evening newscasts. On Tuesday, it unveiled videos accusing the media of being "in love" with Obama.

Goodness, what's next? Accusing the media of having "cooties?" Suggesting that they might have farted?

Anyway, a quick look through last week's stories reveals that, believe it or not, the media really is in the tank for Obama. Check it out:

On the July 22 edition of the CBS Evening News, while airing portions of an interview she conducted that day with Sen. John McCain, anchor Katie Couric removed a part of his response in which he falsely asserted that the 2007 U.S. troop surge "began the Anbar awakening." In fact, the so-called Anbar awakening reportedly began in September 2006, months before the surge was even announced.

(snip)

But as the video and transcript of the interview posted on CBSNews.com demonstrate, the statement Couric aired as McCain's purported response to her question was in fact compiled from three different statements he made during the interview, one of which came in response to a different question.

Meanwhile...

MSNBC's Dan Abrams was all smiles on Thursday as he aired what he described as proof of Fox News going over the line in an attempt to make Republican presidential candidate John McCain look good.

(snip)

Over a "Beat the Press: Fox Anti-Aging Fix" graphic, Abrams urged, "Take a good look at the senator and the video they use." He then showed a clip in which Fox ran video of a strangely youthful and vigorous-looking McCain at a campaign rally to accompany a story about McCain's current campaign schedule. However, the video also prominently features a sign reading "http://mccain2000.com," which at one point is even waved in front of McCain's face.

So as you can see, the media is clearly biased against John McCain. Want more proof? According to a brand new study by the Center for Media and Public Affairs:

During the evening news, the majority of statements from reporters and anchors on all three networks are neutral, the center found. And when network news people ventured opinions in recent weeks, 28% of the statements were positive for Obama and 72% negative.

Network reporting also tilted against McCain, but far less dramatically, with 43% of the statements positive and 57% negative, according to the Washington-based media center.

Damn that liberal media!

John McCain

But let's get back to McCain and the endless, endless whining. According to CNN:

John McCain's is using a weekly radio address to take some jabs at his Democratic rival's trip abroad. He says the presidential contest became "a long-distance affair" this week, as Barack Obama made speeches abroad to "the people of the world." McCain says he began to feel "a little left out" and wonders if the American people did, too.

Oh, don't worry John - you're going to get plenty of face time with Barack Obama. In fact, I expect that about fifteen minutes into the first presidential debate you'll be wishing he was halfway around the world again.

But it seems that all this whining is causing McCain to lose his grip on the supposedly "respectful" campaign he pledged to run back in April. Remember this?

John McCain pledged a "respectful campaign" Tuesday against either Barack Obama or Hillary Rodham Clinton, but said he is less confident about the influence of outside political groups.

(snip)

The subject arose when a questioner at Episcopal High School asked McCain whether the prospect of two senators running against each other in the fall might lead to less negativity.

McCain said he hopes so, adding that he respects both Obama and Clinton, and believes they respect him. "Americans want more respectful campaigns," he added. But the longtime proponent of overhauling campaign finance laws said it's very hard to control the activities of allegedly independent groups that engage in negative campaigning.

Well he needn't have worried about the activities of outisde groups, because it turns out McCain can lie, smear, and fling mud all by himself. During the same interview that CBS helpfully edited, he told Katie Couric:

"I would much rather lose a campaign than lose a war. Sen. Obama has indicated that by his failure to acknowledge the success of the surge (in Iraq), that he would rather lose a war than lose a campaign."

After accusing his opponent of treason, McCain then went on to release a TV ad which says that while he was in Iraq, Obama "made time to go to the gym, but cancelled a visit with wounded troops. Seems the Pentagon wouldn't allow him to bring cameras." Which is just flat out bullshit by anyone's standards.

So there you have it - John McCain's idea of a "respectful campaign." Call your opponent a traitor and accuse him of hating American troops. Now where have I heard crap like that before? Ah yes...

McCain might insist that he's not running for a Bush/Cheney third term, but he's certainly using their campaign tactics.

John McCain

Of course it's pretty obvious why McCain is reaching so deep into his bucket of mud - he's getting his ass kicked all over the place. Remember when McCain used to be the foreign policy expert in this campaign? That advantage could be slipping through his gnarled, 120-year-old fingers. Let's take a look at the McCain timeline on withdrawal from Iraq.

January 4, 2008: We're never leaving Iraq, and that's fine by me!

Q: President Bush has talked about our staying in Iraq for 50 years...

McCAIN: Make it a hundred.

Q: Is that...

McCAIN: We've been in South Korea ... we've been in Japan for 60 years. We've been in South Korea 50 years or so. That would be fine with me. As long as Americans are not being injured or harmed or wounded or killed.

January 31, 2008: All who suggest a timetable for withdrawal will cower before me!

Republican Mitt Romney accused John McCain of using dirty tricks by suggesting the former Massachusetts governor wanted a deadline for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq, in a spirited debate Wednesday night that underscored the intensity of their presidential rivalry.

(snip)

"I have never, ever supported a specific timetable" for withdrawing troops, Romney said. McCain's accusation on the eve of Tuesday's primary, he said, "sort of falls into the dirty tricks that I think Ronald Reagan would have found reprehensible."

April 7, 2008: I'm really serious about this! Withdrawing is a terrible idea!

Senator John McCain painted a highly positive picture of American progress in Iraq today as he implicitly criticized his Democratic competitors, Senators Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama, for what he called a policy of "withdraw and re-invade" and for basing their positions on the war on political ambition.

July 9, 2008: Obama will flip-flop and come around to my way of thinking once he goes to Iraq!

Sen. John McCain Wednesday suggested Sen. Barack Obama may alter his promise to withdraw US troops from Iraq within 16 months after meeting with US. General David Petraeus, the commander of US forces in Iraq.

"I'm glad that he is, for the first time, asking for a sit down briefing with Gen. Petraeus and I'll be very interested in what his position on Iraq is when he returns," McCain said during a satellite interview with ABC News' Charlie Gibson Wednesday from Pittsburgh.

July 17, 2008: I can't believe Obama still wants to withdraw in 16 months! What an idiot!

Republican presidential candidate John McCain on Thursday ridiculed Democrat Barack Obama's vow to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq in 16 months as a political tactic aimed at getting votes.

July 19, 2008: Uh... er... umm... oh no, I'm totally screwed!

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki told a German magazine that he supports Barack Obama's plan to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq within 16 months of taking office.

(snip)

"U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama talks about 16 months. That, we think, would be the right timeframe for a withdrawal, with the possibility of slight changes," al-Maliki told the magazine Der Spiegel. He said he wants U.S. troops to leave "as soon as possible."

July 21, 2008: Wait, hold on a second, I just need to "reassess my position" here...

Republican presidential candidate John McCain appeared to leave a door open on Monday to a large-scale drawdown of U.S. troops from Iraq in the next two years.

(snip)

"I think they could be largely withdrawn," the Arizona senator replied, citing the success of the "surge" strategy of increasing U.S. troop levels in increasing security in the country.

July 25, 2008: Did I say withdrawing in 16 months was a terrible idea? I take it all back! It's a great plan!

In an interview on CNN today -- which the DNC is passing around -- McCain said that withdrawal from Iraq in 16 months is "a pretty good timetable."

That answer came when McCain was asked about Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki's earlier claim to Der Spiegel that Obama's 16-month plan "would be the right timeframe for a withdrawal, with the possibility of slight changes."

Of course, McCain did stress that such a withdrawal would "have to be based on conditions on the ground." But calling 16 months a "good timetable" is something McCain hasn't said before -- and probably never would have said a week ago.

John McCain

Now that Obama's overseas trip is complete, it's likely that the focus of the presidential race will turn once again to domestic issues. Which could be more bad news for John McCain.

For example, McCain has been a BIG proponent of offshore drilling over the past few months, even going to so far as to suggest that George W. Bush's recent overturning of a presidential ban on offshore drilling has already caused oil prices to drop by $10 a barrel. It's all psychology, you see. Didn't you know that we're only in a mental recession? Meanwhile, McCain released a campaign ad directly blaming Barack Obama for high gas prices, which even right-wing TV pundits found to be utterly ridiculous.

Funny story though:

Sen. John McCain's call for off-shore oil-drilling may not have caught on in Congress, where Republicans view it as a way to bolster the world's oil supply and lower gasoline prices and Democrats tend to side with environmentalists on the sanctity of the Outer-Continental Shelf.

But it has caught on with the oil industry, whose executives contributed $1.1 million to McCain's presidential campaign last month, the Washington Post reports today on an independent watchdog group's study of the McCain campaign's fundraising.

Three quarters of McCain's oil haul followed the senior senator from Arizona's call for an end to the long-standing congressional moratorium on off-shore oil-drilling, the Post notes. And that $1.1 million take from Big Oil executives in June outstrips the industry's giving before that: $208,000 in May, $283,000 in April, $116,000 in March, by the Post's count.

Meanwhile, you may recall that John McCain has repeatedly said that the American economy is fundamentally strong. For example, here he is earlier this year:

McINSANE: I have a great belief that the fundamentals of the economy are very strong. Very strong.

If you're sitting on top of a multi-million dollar fortune, that is. According to the Wall Street Journal last week:

In a new sign of increasing inequality in the U.S., the richest 1% of Americans in 2006 garnered the highest share of the nation's adjusted gross income for two decades, and possibly the highest since 1929, according to Internal Revenue Service data.

Meanwhile, the average tax rate of the wealthiest 1% fell to its lowest level in at least 18 years. The group's share of the tax burden has risen, though not as quickly as its share of income.

It's no wonder McCain wants to make Bush's tax cuts for the very wealthiest of Americans permanent, and further lower their tax rates. As you can see, they are clearly suffering.

Finally, it was reported last week that:

Silver State Bancorp, the Henderson-based holding company for the similarly named bank, reported that Andrew McCain, son of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, resigned today from the boards of directors of the bank and bank holding company.

The company cited "personal reasons" for McCain's resignation, and a Silver State spokesman declined further comment.

One wonders if Andrew McCain's "personal reasons" have got anything to do with last month's news that Silver State is in trouble. Surely not. After all, "the fundamentals of the economy are very strong," right?

George W. Bush

Oops! Last week came a moment rarely seen during the presidency of George W. Bush: he was caught on camera telling the truth. Bush was attending a political fundraiser when he made some revealing comments about the economy and the housing crisis. Unfortunately for Our Great Leader, someone in the room had the presence of mind to ignore his request for cameras to be turned off. According to the Huffington Post:

The first moments from the July 18 event find him speaking almost incoherently in admitting, for once, that his friends in big business had screwed up: "There's no question about it. Wall Street got drunk ---that's one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras -- it got drunk and now it's got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments."

Fascinating. Surely nobody could have predicted that Wall Street would get drunk, when all the Republican Party did was hand over the keys to the liquor cabinet and shout, "Here you go fellas, enjoy yourself!" Meanwhile the president's observation that "The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments" suggests that, like Wall Street, he is completely shitfaced.

Then, making light of the foreclosure crisis, he said: "And then we got a housing issue... not in Houston, and evidently not in Dallas, because Laura's over there trying to buy a house. I like Crawford but unfortunately after eight years of sacrifice, I am apparently no longer the decision maker."

George then tap-danced for a minute or two before choking on a pretzel and collapsing face-first to the ground. When informed of this event, the media replied, "Some are saying that Barack Obama looks too presidential. Could this be a problem for him in November? We'll be right back."

Rush Limbaugh

You know who else doesn't like Barack Obama? Rush Limbaugh.

RUSH: Cookie is working on a couple of audio sound bites and Drive-By Media reaction to the Messiah's speech in Germany. I have an idea what she's going to send. I never know what she's going to send unless I specifically asked for it. But Cookie is so good I seldom have to ask for it. I get what I want anyway.

Now, one thing about this speech. I'll wait until we get the bites and see if what I'm expecting in these, "citizen of the world" stuff. When he started talking about that, that's when the red flags went up. And one of the things about this citizen of the world stuff, I understand what he means by it. You know, we've all got to come together and get along and all of this, but I tell you, I'm growing weary of Democrats and their presidential candidates finding something wrong with being an American citizen. Or maybe not finding something wrong with it but wanting to deemphasize American citizenship.

I know, shocking isn't it. How dare he come up with nonsense like this?

"I speak today as both a citizen of the United States and of the world. I come with the heartfelt wishes of my people for peace, bearing honest proposals and looking for genuine progress."

Oh, wait a minute, that wasn't Barack Obama. That was Ronald Reagan speaking at the United Nations in 1982.

Bob Novak

The always-unapologetic Bob Novak literally ran into trouble last week when he hit a pedestrian in Washington D.C. - and kept going. According to Politico (emphasis mine):

Syndicated columnist Robert D. Novak was cited by police after he hit a pedestrian with his black Corvette in downtown Washington, D.C., on Wednesday morning.

A Politico reporter saw Novak in the front of a police car with a citation in his hand; a WJLA-TV crew and reporter saw Novak as well. The pedestrian, a 66-year-old man who was not further identified by authorities, was treated at George Washington University Hospital for minor injuries, according to D.C. Fire and EMS. Novak was later released by police and drove away from the scene.

"I didn't know I hit him. ... I feel terrible," a shaken Novak told reporters from Politico and WJLA as he was returning to his car. "He's not dead, that's the main thing." Novak said he was a block away from 18th and K streets Northwest, where the accident occurred, when a bicyclist stopped him and said he had hit someone. He said he was cited for failing to yield the right of way.

It's no wonder the McCain campaign picked Novak to run their bogus VP story last week - apparently his powers of observation aren't what they used to be...

The bicyclist was David Bono, a partner at Harkins Cunningham, who was on his usual bike commute to work at 1700 K St. N.W. when he witnessed the accident.

As he traveled east on K Street, crossing 18th, Bono said "a black Corvette convertible with top closed plows into the guy. The guy is sort of splayed into the windshield."

Fox News

Amidst the hoopla surrounding Barack Obama's overseas trip, a little-noticed incident last week revealed the truth about the Bush Administration's Department Of Propaganda, aka Fox News. During an interview with former White House press secretary Scott McClellan on Hardball, the following exchange took place:

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Did you see FOX television as a tool when you were in the White House? As a useful avenue to get your message out?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: I make a distinction between the journalists and the commentators. Certainly there were commentators and other, pundits at FOX News, that were useful to the White House. ... That was something we at the White House, yes, were doing, getting them talking points and making sure they knew where we were coming from.

MATTHEWS: So you were using these commentators as your spokespeople.

McCLELLAN: Well, certainly.

I have just one thing to say about that.

Duncan Hunter

And finally, congressman and former Republican presidential candidate Duncan Hunter (R-Obviously) has discovered a whole new way to waste the taxpayer's hard-earned dollar.

http://thinkprogress.org/2008/07/23/rep-hunter-wont-visit-chadian-refugees-if-he-cant-hunt-wildebeest/">According to Think Progress, Hunter's staff "recently contacted the U.S. embassy in Chad to see whether he could visit the country and distribute food at a refugee camp." Which sounds pretty noble, until you discover the real reason for Hunter's trip.

It seems that Hunter wanted to "hunt wildebeest and then distribute the meat to the refugees," an idea the embassy wasn't too keen on for a variety of reasons, including this rather important one:

Regarding the Congressman's desire to hunt wildebeest and distribute the cured meat to refugees, wildebeest are not present in Chad.

Upon hearing this, Hunter decided that he couldn't be bothered to feed refugees in Chad after all. According to the Washington Post:

Hunter's office called State on Thursday and said he had decided not to go and that he was looking instead at commercial hunting expeditions in Kenya, Tanzania and Southern Africa.

Stay classy, congressman.

See you next week!

--EarlG