Coming soon: the dirtiest show on earth

[JoFerret]

http://www.aljazeerah.info/Opinion%20editorials/2004%20opinions/Feb/21%20o/Coming%20Soon%20The%20Dirtiest%20Show%20On%20Earth%20By%20John%20Chuckman.htm

Some views on the US election system from abroad
By John Chuckman

Al-Jazeerah, Feb 21, 2004



Crowds cheering, bands marching, costumes glittering, high-wire stunts, and even animal acts (if the latest Bush stories about Kerry are to believed) - all these and more are coming this fall to America's local fairgrounds and national airwaves.

American elections are not noted for depth of content. Despite constant disparagement, sound-bites often are the only way to know what all the racket is about.

The candidates are typically such pasteboard-cutout figures...

The phoniness starts well before the conventions and actual campaigns. ....

One thing is different this year. I don't recall such a wealth of filth being released at so early a date in the run-up to a campaign. We're in for a hilarious season. By November, even the most jaded viewer should have had some good laughs.

....
Bush operatives already are reported to be conducting a worldwide search for any former intern who may have had an affair with John Kerry. ....

Dick Cheney ordered the top-secret NSA to enter a salacious-word search into the supercomputers of its Echelon system that daily records and sorts through the world's telecommunications for clues to miscreants. ....

<more> Dick Cheney did what???

[Sticky]

1. My favourite LOL moment...

"By the way, if Dick Cheney were running, he'd only have to show a wallet-snap of his wife's embalmed-prune smile to be forgiven any straying from the marital bed"

Great piece!

[JoFerret]

2. I liked these two paragraphs

<<The critical nature of Bush's service to the nation is brought home by a report concerning his using a National Guard plane to transport what were identified only as "tropical plants" to Texas. Apparently, either there was a shortage of pineapples at the base lounge or Bush invented a new role for the military in the war on drugs.

I'm just hoping a home-movie clip survives somewhere of Bush's legendary naked table-dancing in a bar. This would provide a hilarious finale to the campaign. CNN could show it again and again, frame by frame, with commentaries by a staff of legal experts. Who knows, if we're really lucky there's a Polaroid out there somewhere of Junior with white powder stuck to his nose. >>

Tropical plants?
Brainless man in topless bar.

[catzies]

3. Me-ow! Another saucer of milk, please.

That was a yummy treat. :P

Oh, and I know exactly what you mean:

Dick Cheney did what??? :wow:

[boobooday]

4. God Save Us From the Republican Circus

I can't wait until we are looking at these guys in our rearview mirrors.

Then we can laugh our asses off.

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