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A Curious Dream
By David Glenn Cox
I had the strangest dream last night; I have these dreams from time to time. Sometimes I understand what they mean, other times they leave me as confused as George W. Bush at a Mensa convention. I had a dream like this years ago, where I was in an old, antebellum house and upstairs in this house was a ballroom. As I went to walk across the room I was told that I couldn’t, that the floor was unsafe and subject to collapse and it might cause the whole house to cave in. I understood when I woke up that the dream was about my marriage, weak and failing and subject to collapse.
Maybe we’ve all had dreams like this or maybe I’m just not heavily-medicated enough. In my dream last night, I’m at a party and everyone is celebrating when someone asks me, “What do you think of Hillary Clinton?”
Well, never having been a wallflower, I began, “Why, I think she’s the luckiest woman alive! Even though polls had her down in New Hampshire she comes up with a stunning, surprise victory. A victory that surprised even exit pollsters. And, when Texas and Ohio are called must-win states, she pulls off the must win. What would you think if you were playing cards with someone like that? Who always manages to draw the ace when they need one?
"Did you know officials in Texas credit 10% of Hillary's vote count in the Democratic Primary to Republicans crossing over to vote for her? In Clermont County, Ohio, she’s so popular she got more votes then there are registered Democrats, there’s that ace again! Just a hair over 14,000 registered Democrats and yet 15,850 came out to vote for Hillary.
"Voters in Amelia and Union Township had it even worse, when they showed up to vote, the precincts were all out of ballots, I think that’s called a Florida straight. Shay Stevens said, 'I came here around 4 p.m. to vote and I was told they had no Democratic ballots – they had been out of them for over four hours.' Out at lunchtime, huh? Where do you suppose all those ballots went? I guess everyone was in a hurry to vote for Hillary in this must-win state.
"Voters then stormed the Clermont county Board of Elections, demanding to vote! They did this because they were told to by poll workers, if they wanted to vote. County officials had prepared more than 33,000 Democratic ballots and held up their hands sheepishly, 'We tried to increase the number of ballots,' they explained. Employees at the Board of Elections worked into the night re-submitting hundreds of ballots by hand. You've got to admire their dedication to democracy and to the Democratic Party, how did we lose in a state like that in 2000 and '04 with such a vigorous party on the ground?
"Overwhelmed officials resorted to photocopying ballots, to make sure that the voters weren’t turned away empty-handed. The photocopies were unacceptable to the ballot counting machines so they had to be copied onto an official ballot, by hand, to be tabulated. An Ohio election official made the most ironic statement ever made in Ohio since Daniel Boone ran the gauntlet, "There was no way to predict this."
"As Hillary pulls a five-card straight from a three-card draw, then looks at the camera and says, “Gee, I’m so lucky!” Lucky indeed, the AFL-CIO’s John Ryan explains, in '04 they did a voter registration drive and were happy with 14,000; this year there are over 100,000 newly registered voters, “That blows my mind. This is not Arizona, with a growing population. People are leaving this area, not coming in."
"Seven years of Bushenomics have turned Ohio’s economy, once one of the most prosperous and diverse state economies in the nation, into one of the poorest. A banana republic, without the bananas. Cleveland is now the poorest big city in America with a poverty rate at 31.3%, Cincinnati 21.1%, Toledo 20.3%, and Columbus 16.5%. So it is safe to assume that these folks are hungering for change. Obama carried Cleveland and Cincinnati but Hillary won across the length and breadth of Ohio, including Toledo and Springfield.
"Outside the Ohio urban areas the voters demanded Change in the person of Hillary Clinton. Obama barely reached 40% of the vote in some counties and 30% in others. In Belmont County 23%, Washington County 26%, Scioto County 16% --16%! What did Obama do, play football for Michigan? It boggles the mind how the electoral contest could be so close nationwide, North, South, East and West, yet in Ohio it is literally two sides of the coin. In Cleveland, Cincinnati and Columbus the vote averages 56 to 43 Obama, yet, in Scioto County, the vote count was 6 to 1 in favor of Clinton.
"Maybe it’s racism? But Obama earned 40% of the white vote in Georgia and won in Utah, outright. So, could Ohio be such a bastion for racists? Maybe Ohio just wants a woman for president. Maybe Hillary is a hell of a card player and just one lucky daughter of a gun. She knows how to play the game so Obama best not bet against her. Come the convention he might be sitting comfortably and stand pat with two aces only to find out that Hillary's got three!"
As I was winding down, I saw the crowd was looking at me and then looking around with that nervous look. The crowd began to separate and there, across the room, was Bill Clinton, standing behind a high, wing-back chair, scowling at me. Sitting in the chair was you-know-who, but, unlike Bill, she was smiling at me, she was smiling at me with that Mona Lisa smile. That smile that might be saying, good for you, or maybe might be saying, I’m going to reach down your throat and strangle you with your own intestines. I finished my drink in one gulp and left quickly.
So, I awoke this morning and thought to myself, did I really dream all that? I looked at the Ohio returns again and said, “Yes, I had to, it’s far too bizarre to just be chance. So I’ll put it to the public, as I’m beguiled, what do you suppose this dream meant?
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