George Mallory - The "Almost" Edmund Hillary

[evilkumquat]

Edmund Hillary has just died, having spent the majority of his life being known as the guy who got to the top of a really, really, really tall mountain first.

Seeing his name in the obituaries reminded me of something I wrote back in 1999 after climbers discovered the very well-preserved body of an earlier climber, George Mallory, whose claim to fame was the phrase "Because it's there."

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Because It's There...???

This week, a research team made an amazing discovery on Mount Everest. While searching for clues as to the fate of two early explorers, George Mallory and Sandy Irvine, the climbers were startled to discover at 27,000 feet a body, perfectly preserved by the dry winds and cold temperatures. They were even more astonished and delighted when an examination of the body proved beyond a shadow of a doubt the identity of the brave climber:

Jimmy Hoffa.

But after they wiped a bit more snow off the corpse, they discovered it was really George Mallory. Mallory, who died trying to reach the summit of Mount Everest in 1924, is best noted for his answer to the question, "Why are you trying to climb that mountain?"

Mallory's response? "Because it's there."

Few people know that Mallory also gave this same answer when asked, "Why are you staring at my wife's butt?" at a fancy dinner party three weeks earlier (Mallory had a few too many).

As far as Everest goes, however, I think Mallory should have had a better reason for going. There are plenty of things to climb than the world's tallest peak, many much closer to home. If it was the thrill of the conditions that appealed to him, he would've been just as happy to walk to the top of the Sears Tower naked, in winter with all the windows open, carrying a hundred pounds of ice bags. Unfortunately, the Sears Tower did not complete construction until 1973 and Mallory didn't feel like waiting. This is a pity because when he got too tired carrying all that equipment, he could have always rode the elevator down.

I remember watching a PBS program where yet another group of scientists was trying to discover the fate of yet another expedition. This mission focused on some sailors near the Arctic Circle who all died under suspicious circumstances. The scientists found the centuries-old graves of these early adventurers and did autopsies on the surprisingly well-preserved bodies. Poison was discovered in the stomachs, which the scientists believed came from the lining of the cans in which the sailors' food was packed. However, the scientists also discovered that most of the sailors died long before the poison would have taken affect. Apparently they had killed each other over whose turn it was to lick the icing off the spoon. Scientists are reasonably sure of this since one of the bodies had chocolate on its lips and a rubber spatula sticking out of its head.

In both of these archaeological digs, after the bodies were exhumed and examined, the scientists had a little memorial service and re-buried the bodies where they were found. In Mallory's case, this was done per his "family's wishes." This in direct contrast to scientific methods used in other areas of the world. In Egypt, mummies are yanked from tombs and exhibited in museums; and in Southern California, according to the classic documentary film Poltergeist, graves are allowed to spill open and shoot their contents at passing pedestrians.

So, at what point is a human body no longer subject to the wishes of family members? At what point does a person go from "Grampa" to "Please Don't Use Flash Photography"? Archeology needs rigidly defined parameters for how much time must elapse before human remains can be exploited for commercial gain. I say one hundred years should suffice, but only because it is a nice, round number and easy to remember. Of course, there should be exceptions to this rule, such as if the body being found would be really neat to look at. Like Mallory, for example, or even Lincoln. Clearly, we have waited long enough to open Lincoln's coffin and see what's inside.

Purely for scientific reasons, of course.

[northzax]

1. because it is rhere

is a perfectly good reason, far as I am concerned.