10 reasons why Christian Fundamentalists are terrified of sex

[wcepler]

10 reasons why Christian Fundamentalists are terrified of sex:

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(1.) Have you ever seen their mates?

(2.) It's hard to gesture Sieg Heil when you're climaxing.

(3.) The Armageddon heads don't want to be distracted from the Baptist Big Bang.

(4.) The males are afraid they won't be able to stretch out the condoms.

(5.) The females are afraid the males won't be able to stretch out the condoms.

(6.) They dread "Who's on top?" wars.

(7.) They're afraid to do anything Democrats do (a lot).

(8.) Sex reminds them of bathrooms.

(9.) Their consciousness stops at the waist (or neck).

(10.) They've never act seen their minister do it, so they assume it never happens.

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wcproteus

[babylonsister]

1. Unworthy. nt

[TomInTib]

2. Why don't fundies f**k while standing up?

Someone might see them and think they're dancing.

[LunaSea]

3. Might be mistaken for dancing.....

old joke..

[Oldtimeralso]

4. # 1.5

They always do it with the woman on top because they always screw up

[razors edge]

5. not religious but if we are bashing christies,

what do you call a 15 year old girl from ohio who can outrun her brothers?

a virgin.

yeah we can do better than this I think.

[kansasblue]

6. This is sad...not funny.

needs a unrecommend button.

[Ilsa]

7. I like 1,2,6, 10.

I've heard #10 as a denial of a major news event: "I didn't see it on the news, so it didn't happen."

I'm not sure I understand #3 the second time I looked at it. Baptists don't have "Big Bangs".

[no_hypocrisy]

8. Fear of exclaiming "Oh God!" for the wrong reason. n/t