Like They Say Down in Texas...

[Sheila Samples]

:shrug: My friend Bernie says he's never seen the world in such chaotic, snarled disorder. "I've been around the block a couple of times," he said, shaking his head sadly. "I've seen the elephant and heard the owl. And -- like they say down in Texas -- "things around here are sure in one mell of a hess..."

Bernie says it's our fault. He says we shouldn't have allowed this gaggle of ghouls to fool us so many times. Shame on us. Sooner or later we're gonna have to shoulder part of the blame for Dubbie doin' it too close to the house and tracking it in on the rug. After all, even though we didn't hire him to be president, we're stuck with him. He works for us. We pay his salary, and he's accountable to us for his job performance. Like they say in Texas, he needs to shape the hell up--or ship the hell out...

It's been hard to get a grip on Dub's square-peg words and his round-hole actions. They just don't fit. Maybe it's because words don't mean the same thing to Dubbie that they do to the rest of the world.

Take his massive tax cut for his rich campaign donors. The first time around it was just a plain ol' tax cut. The second time around, it met a bit of resistance, so he put the word out to "unnamed high ranking officials" who put the word out to the media who obediently put the word out to the people that the cut was really an "economic stimulus package." Then he hit the hustings with the same old tax cut, which had seamlessly morphed into a "jobs creation and growth" plan.

G.C. Lichtenberg, a German physicist in the 1700s, once said, "The most dangerous of all falsehoods is a slightly distorted truth." Sounds good, but it's obvious Lichtenberg never ran across anybody as rhetorically square-pegged and round-holed as our Geedubya.

Consider all the children that Dub swore he would never leave behind. Medicaid is the fundamental health safety net for one-fifth of all children in this country, for two-thirds of all nursing home residents, and for low-income citizens and disabled Americans.

So Dubya has this bright idea to give the states "power" to run the program (nudge, wink), while refusing to "pour" any more money into it (oopsie!), and -- just for good measure -- cutting state-funds for social services. Yep, like they say down in Texas, Dubbie's howling like a "kyotee" while looking at the kids and the old folks in his rear-view mirror...

But Bernie says in a strange and twisted way, Dubya's been up front with us from day one. "Sure he lies," Bernie said, "--but even when he does tell us what he's gonna do, we don't understand what he's saying -- at least not until it's too late to do anything about it.

"Remember Bob Woodward's book -- Bush at War? Dubya told Woodward,'I will seize the opportunity to achieve big goals.' Now--" Bernie said, grinning, "that made us all proud, didn't it? How were we to know he saw the opportunity of 9-11 as the mother of all goals to seize control of the entire planet?"

How, indeed...Until 9-11, we swirled at cyclonic speed in some cartoonish video game with a swashbuckling studmeister hero and his crusty, bumbling, over-the-hill warmonger gang -- all absurdly and hilariously entertaining. We stood around, gawking like dumbfounded Texas rednecks as Dubya shredded protocols and treaties, pillaged and raped the environment and waved grimly at the rest of the world.

Too bad more of us didn't notice until too late that -- like they say down in Texas -- he was waving at us one finger at a time...

[madfloridian]

1. I think I would like Bernie!

:hi:

[Sheila Samples]

3. "I think I would lke Bernie!"

Bernie has been with me for a long time, and I couldn't get along without him. Years ago, I was a two-bit sports writer, and the two beings who had almost total influence in my development were Red Smith and Mike Royko. I strived to be lofty like Smith, but always ended up being more "Roykoesque" than I intended. Royko spent many a "happy hour" in Chicago at the Billy Goat Tavern with his friend and alter-ego, Slats Grobnik. When they finally drank themselves to death, I mourned just as much for the loss of Grobnik as for Royko -- both were lost to me forever. I am convinced that if either Smith or Royko were here to wax eloquent on what is going on today -- it wouldn't be going on with such a vengeance...

Bernie arrived on the scene shortly after their demise to ease my pain, and he is as real to me as any other human being--more real than most. I still break out in a cold sweat when I remember how I got carried away about a year ago and wrote myself into a hole--nearly killing Bernie. Really pissed him off. I won't go there again, that's for sure...LOL

You're probably too young to remember, but nothing could be more entertaining than an entire Royko column on what makes a good Chicago hot dog -- which, of course, is recognized the world over as THE only authentic hot dog in existance. Mosley-Braun once offended Royko's senses mightily by putting ketchup on her hot dog, and lost his vote for all eternity for being so crass...as well she should have.

Thanks for your reply--from both me and Bernie...

[izzie]

2. Like my sister said when this guy ran....

All my life We were in the car busness and this type I have seen in that field. He will leave us all in a mess. Some how every thing they do they make a mess and someone has to clean it up after they are done.

[Sheila Samples]

4. To izzie

Yep. Anyone stupid enough to buy a used car from this guy deserves the pile of junk they end up with.

...but what about the rest of us? Doesn't seem fair, does it?