Duh Roundup (Issue No. 4)

[Miss Authoritiva]

By Grace Nearing of Scriptoids

Imagine writing a magazine article (Whistleblower Magazine) based entirely on one hugely wrong yet easily verified fact. Michelle Malkin did:

"For English, please press '1,'" by Michelle Malkin, who asks, "Does America have an official language any more?"

In point of fact, the United States has never had an official language.
***

The absurdist humor of George W. Bush (Does he even know?)

President Bush welcoming the Boston Red Sox to the White House....

BUSH: Please be seated, unless you don't have a chair.
***

Sean Hannity, Pet Psychic

Hannity interviews neighbors of the alleged BTK killer…

NEIGHBOR: I'd walk out to let the dog outside…and he'd be there taking pictures or looking around, doing something. And I'd ask him why he was there, and he'd come up with a stupid answer.
And it just made you uneasy. I didn't care for him. The dog didn't care for him one bit.

HANNITY: Dogs know.
***

Bush Says He Shares States' Medicaid Concerns

QUERY: Which statement do you believe?

1. “We want Medicaid to work,” Bush said.

2. The president has sought $40 billion in cuts in the health care program.
***

Why Do Family Advocates Mangle Metaphors? It's as Like They Hated the Language

Headline on Agape Press website:

Family Advocates Say Thanks to Playboy, Cell Phones Could Become Cesspools
***

Dear Senator Oinker: Please stop sending millions of dollars of earmarked federal funds back to our good state. Thank you.

Conservative Paul M. Weyrich tries to rally his troops:

"Grassroots conservatives.... must keep the pressure on representatives and senators to put the national interest ahead of pork-barrel interest."


Dream on, Mr. Weyrich....

For complete links for these statements, visit Scriptoids.

[MissMarple]

1. Thanks for the laugh. They are so pitiful.

Michelle Malkin is a clueless idiot. Some of these guys have no idea what it is they don't know. Life must be so easy with such a limited amount of information to work with. No uncertainties, no dilemmas, no questions.

[bemildred]

2. I rather liked the septic cell phones.

Someone will have to warn Paris Hilton.