Newborn found in portable toilet

[Kadie]

Newborn found in portable toilet

Thursday, June 17, 2004

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


(06-17) 22:32 PDT SOLEDAD, Calif. (AP) --

A teenager was arrested Thursday on charges that she gave birth to a baby girl inside a portable toilet and left her there.

The newborn girl was found in lying in waste at the bottom of the toilet, according to a police report from the Monterey County Sheriff's Office. A farm worker pulled her out after hearing the child's screams.

Paramedics rushed the girl to Salinas Valley Memorial Hospital and she was later transported to Lucille Packard Children's Hospital in Palo Alto.

"I think if the baby had been another half hour to an hour longer there, we probably would not have been able to have done much more," Dr. David Kasting, of Salinas Valley Memorial Hospital, told KION-TV in Salinas.

more... http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2004/06/17/state2344EDT1020.DTL



We have a real serious problem in this country. I have read so many stories lately about babies being abandoned, found both dead and alive. In California you can drop off an unwanted baby at any hospital, police station, or fire station, no questions asked. Either the word isn't getting out about this program, or people just don't want to use it. I just don't understand, why people are doing this. This just breaks my heart. What can be done to stop this behavior?

[CrispyQ]

1. Abandoning a live baby in a toilet is better than aborting a fetus . . .

...at least that's what some people think.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Women need sex education, birth control & the morning after pill, not self-righteous, rich, men telling us that they aren't going to fill our BC pill prescription! I do not understand how you can be against abortion AND against sex education & birth control. That's just asking for a whole lotta suffering.

I didn't know that about California. I hope it's that people just don't know about the program. Stories like this break my heart too, Kadie.

[bleedingheart]

4. men need sex education too...

i am sure you realize that...but I am just adding it for good measure...

(i hope you don't take offense)

[indie_voter]

8. I agree

This is off topic but I plan on teaching my son as well as my daughter reproductive responsibility. I also plan on teaching my son the ins and outs of the female biological cycle. He might not like to hear it from me, but tough.

Sperm can live in fertile enviornment inside the woman's body for 5 days (some times more). A woman is fertile for almost a week before she ovulates and then for about 24 hours afterwards, until the egg is not viable.

Knowledge is power, mho. I don't want to hear from my son "she told me it was safe" It takes two to make a baby, the boy has as much responsibility as the girl.

[CrispyQ]

26. I agree with both of you . . .

...that education for men is equally important.

Still, it's the woman left 'holding the goods' so to speak. That combined with a culture that doesn't hold deadbeat dads accountable, leaves women with a more critical responsibility.

[Longhorn79]

23. I don't think I know anybody who believes abandoning a live baby

in a toilet is better than aborting a fetus.

[calimary]

31. Probably also home schooling has something to do with it.

[Shakespeare]

35. Are you serious?

The girl is a migrant farmworker. I seriously doubt homeschooling is on the same PLANET as this situation.

[gatlingforme]

51. I can't believe we are talking as if the woman is the sole

person to be responsible to a pregnancy. I think we are in the 21st century now wherein it takes TWO people to become pregnant. I think woman and men should be educated to the fundamentals of "making a baby". Women must be informed and the Bush administration is doing a darn good job to make sure she is not well informed as to her rights as an individual. I am not trying to be adversarial, but really I think we all know that educating boys and girls is pretty much a given now. To be proud that you are educating a son as well as the daughter I guess is a step forward ????? of course it is --- I just wish it was kind of a given now a days.

[bleedingheart]

2. people don't use those programs because they don't think it through

carefully enough when they find themselves in trouble.

Clearly this girl may have concealed her pregnancy...because wouldn't mom, dad or the boyfriend be suprised not to find her pregnant anymore? Clearly she didn't want the baby but perhaps ignored her pregnancy until she could not terminate it...so she carried the pregnancy to term only to try and flush it away.

I am adamantly pro choice...but I think that we need to stop focusing on abstinence and focus on what to do when the overwhelming urge to screw overcomes these kids and adults. They need to use birth control and we need to be honest about it.

We also need to let them know that if they are in a bad situation that they can get help. If dad is going to kill the girl for getting pregnant...than we need hotlines for the girls to call so that they can get counseling services to intervene or perhaps locate the girl to a different place until the situation is resolved.

How about a new commercial by Planned Parenthood...

"Are you afraid to tell someone about your pregnancy" "Afraid you may be pregnant?"

and then a big 1 800 number to flash across the screen....

[TahitiNut]

7. Such programs are nearly as socially forbidden ...

... as the 'preventative' behaviors that lead to such circumstances. Birth control and abortion are both eschewed by "old-country" Catholic/Hispanic cultures ... as is surrendering the infant with (non-Catholic) "strangers" for adoption.

[LynzM]

9. We have a 'pregnant and scared?' campaign

Here (Terre Haute, IN) with a pregnancy safe-house. I've got no idea about how effective it is, but it's there, and there are always billboards up.

[SharonAnn]

17. Sometimes those are run by "pro-lifers" to get the girl to come to

them so they can talk her out of any choices in the matter.

They offer some help and adoption and educate her against any other choices.

[BeHereNow]

19. TH!

I grew up in TH...State High class of '78.
I will be visiting there in July...wanna get together?
PM me!
BHN

[Beaverhausen]

33. We have Project Cuddle here in Los Angeles

http://www.projectcuddle.org/

How It All Began
Project Cuddle is the result of one woman's crusade to help prevent infants from being abandoned. Debbe Magnusen and her husband Dave fostered over 30 drug-exposed babies, while raising two biological children. They eventually adopted five beautiful little ones. Thus, Project Cuddle's crisis line was formed from the living room of Debbe's home, with the hope of ending baby abandonment.

On July 8, 1996, the 24 hour toll-free crisis hotline was unveiled to the public. Within 12 hours, Project Cuddle received its first crisis call. A frightened young woman called and said "I saw you on TV and I know the trash is bad for the baby. You better figure out what to do with this baby or I'm going to put it in the park." The woman had no prenatal care and assumed she was due in the next week.

With only days to orchestrate a safe and legal alternative to abandonment, Project Cuddle was able to retain an attorney, a family wanting to rescue and adopt the baby, as well as an obstetrician, hospital and social counselor. Debbe Magnusen coached this woman through the delivery of a beautiful baby girl. After the baby was delivered into the arms of the adoptive parents, the birth mother said to Debbe. "I feel like I've done something good for the first time." The woman did not break the law, the baby was safe and a rescue couple was overjoyed at having a new daughter in their lives.

Statistics indicate that 57 children are abandoned everyday, and these are only the ones that are found. Since it's inception, Project Cuddle has saved hundreds of babies across the country from the fate of being abandoned, or worse.

[ElementaryPenguin]

13. You are so right!

Excellent idea.

[indie_voter]

3. I agree, what is going on?

We need to better advertise safe haven laws in our schools and other places teens congregate.

I hope the baby will be okay and live a happy fruitful life. I am with you, it breaks my heart to read stories like this.

[TahitiNut]

5. While it may be unwarranted speculation on my part ...

... I would guess that this "teenager" is part of the Hispanic/Catholic community that predominates across that area. The farms across that area rely on a multi-generational farm-worker subculture, most of whom are very "old-country" in their Catholicism - very anti-abortion and very anti-birth-control: an especially difficult amalgam of repressions in a libidinous teenage social context.

[Virginian]

14. It reminds me of the movie "Cider House Rules". n/t

[TahitiNut]

16. Indeed it does.

People supposedly subject to hand-me-down rules which they had no hand in formulating and which fail to reflect or even connect with their realities.

[Pachamama]

91. Cider House Rules is on tonite on CBS...watching it right now...

Was surprised that CBS would show the movie since it deals with abortion...but hey, they have been touching a lot of "taboo" subjects lately...

This story reminded me also of Cider House rules...I'm in California and the news said it was a young hispanic teen. I'm willing to bet she didn't know about this program to drop babies off with no questions asked...

[Scairp]

6. You're quite right

The word isn't getting out. I am a grown woman who reads a great deal and I only found out about it after they passed the law. It was not extensively written about. More needs to be done to let these girls know they don't have to throw a baby in a toilet.

[demigoddess]

90. health care wouldn't hurt either, might catch the pregnancy early enough

add in some couseling with teenagers and you may prevent a whole bunch of these if you could get rid of the stigma. Even with open minded people, there is the 'how could you do it? ' attitude.

[Tellurian]

10. I agree, every ER should be mandated with signs in plain view offering

a safe haven for unwanted infants...

It's the least we can do to give these babies a fighting chance.

[0007]

12. Absolutely!

[goforit]

20. And let us all put it on Ashcroft's bill.

It is an expense that we all might be paying through our taxes.

And that should also include life long psych bills for these
abandoned souls.

It has been proven that children have to deal psychologically
with this rejection for a life time.And some never overcome it.
(some do, but those who do are a diamond in a rough)

[HereSince1628]

11. Baby left in porti potty in winter in Wisconsin...

a year or two ago. Teenage mother gave teenage father baby shortly after birth, he abandoned it in the porti-potty.


This maybe the tip of an epidemic...

[BeHereNow]

15. Why do they hate us?

Because we are disgusting hypocritical fucks.
We strut around the world stage proclaiming our
moral superiority and "goodness" while things
like this happen in our back yards.
We do not take care of our own people-
What sort of society produces a young woman
who would do such a thing? We promote
promiscuity to our young people with media
images of sluts like Jessica and Brittney, teach them
their self worth is based on vulgar sexuality while
completely ignoring their inner self worth, their
minds and spiritual selves, and then are shocked
and horrified when they become pregnant and
feel no value for the life they have created.
Our society and culture is the sickest on the planet...
BHN

[Longhorn79]

24. Are you sure you're liberal?

It's just that much of your paragraph disputes the cherished liberal ideology of tolerance and independence.

[BeHereNow]

28. Welcome to DU

Hmmm. If being a liberal means
condoning hideous behavior under the
umbrella of tolerance and independence, then
I'd have to say no, I am not so sure I want any part
of that ideology.
BHN

[Ilsa]

18. You can legally abandon at a hospital or fire dept

facility in Texas also. There might be some other facilities that are accepted, but I can't remember. Still, there are threats by authorities try to intervene in this and find the mother. They look for reasons...

[Shakespeare]

22. This girl is a migrant farmworker.

She very likely speaks little or no English, and may be illiterate--not to mention the already-mentioned likely cultural/family issues. Poor thing has so much going against her already--I really hope they go easy on her.

[Roaming]

27. Go easy??? She murdered a baby. She could have left the little

one on a doorstep and at least give it a chance. Or was it just a ninth-month abortion? This is just appalling.

[Shakespeare]

29. THE BABY IS NOT DEAD.

So back the fuck off. She was wrong to abandon the baby, but keep in mind that this was a frightened, likely illiterate (and at the very least non-English speaking), EXPLOITED girl--I'm deeply relieved the baby did not die, but to treat her like a hardened criminal is just flat-out wrong.

[Roaming]

64. I apologize--I thought the baby was dead; however, I am still against

making excuses for people based on economic status--just because someone is poor and doesn't speak the language doesn't somehow excuse criminal behavior, does it?

I'm just so sick of mothers being able to kill their children (like that woman who put her babies into a car and drowned them, etc.) and society is always making excuses for them. And letting them off with light sentences.

[Shakespeare]

32. Also....

How much do you know about the working conditions of migrant farmworkers? This kid gave birth in a port-o-potty on the edge of a goddamn field. She wasn't exactly in a position to go wandering back into town to find a hospital or a "doorstep."

[trav5787]

34. Personal Responsibility

What about personal responsibility? We are responsible for our own choices. No one else is. She may have had a rough go of things but that doesn't excuse her from trying to commit murder.

[Shakespeare]

36. Did I say she shouldn't be punished at all? Uh, no...

Nice recitation of the GOP mantra, though.

[trav5787]

39. Excuse you

That is not GOP mantra. I just get tired of criminals getting a free pass because they had a rough childhood.

[Shakespeare]

43. No, excuse YOU.

"Personal responsibility" is absolutely a major rightwing mantra. It's code for "let's fuck people over--screw the social programs."

This girl is hardly a "criminal," and until you live in conditions like the one she's in, I find it laughable that you throw around the idea of "rough childhood" as if you had one single clue what hers has been like.

I didn't say don't punish her--I DID say take into consideration the situation, and act appropriately. But no, let's throw the book at her and the hell with any mitigating circumstances.

[trav5787]

45. Oh Please

I had some bad things happen to me when I was young. I think I will go out and rob a bank and stack the jury with people that believe like you..

[Shakespeare]

48. Straw man.

Nice try, but logically unsound.

But you're right...let's send the kid up for lethal injection.

[trav5787]

49. Strawman for you too

i didn't say execute her. The baby is still alive. I just think she needs to do time for attempted murder.

[Shakespeare]

52. WHOOSH! Ironic moment whizzes right by you.

Yes, that WAS a strawman for me, too! You got it! Congratulations.

Explain to me how this ranks as attempted murder. Keep in mind there are lesser charges where death (or near death) is involved. And I suggest you explore the term "attempted murder" as it's defined in our legal system to further assist you in your argument.

[trav5787]

53. OMG

I can't believe you are defending her. She left a baby sitting in a pool of s$%^!!! A newborn baby. Drowning is a way to kill someone you know?

[Shakespeare]

55. OMG

I can't believe you refuse to look at the entire situation--the girl's living conditions, education, state of mind, etc. Get back to me when you're able to do that.

[trav5787]

57. Because

It isn't her fault. Sorry I forgot. :eyes:

[Shakespeare]

59. Did I say that? No, I didn't.

I'm amazed at your insistence on putting words into my mouth. Much as you might want it to be so, our world is not black and white. Of course her actions are her fault, but the situation surrounding what happened has many shades of gray.

[trav5787]

Ahh

Playing the moral relativism card I see. "We shouldn't punish her as harshly because she has a rough life" You do realize that pioneeers had it just as rough while building this country and you didn't hear widespread cases of them abandoning babies in outhouses.

[Shakespeare]

63. HAHAHAHAHAHA--switching to a new GOP catch phrase!

Busted.

And if you REALLY want to get into an examination of infanticide throughout history, I can already tell you you don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[hightime]

50. The girl is indeed a criminal. She left a baby to die in human waste.

Her reasons and concerns aside, everbody knows this is a criminal act.

[Shakespeare]

54. Indulge me a moment of clarification.

Perhaps I should've used the term "hardened" criminal, as that is what the other poster implied. It may have been a criminal act, but intent and existence of a criminal history are what determine whether one is truly a "criminal" in the sense originally implied. I contend that that is not the case here. I contend that this was a terrified, uneducated, exploited juvenile in a foreign country doing something that was very wrong and very stupid.

The mitigating circumstances of her situation and her state of mind are very relevant. Acknowledging that does not make one soft on crime; it makes one a fair human being.

[trav5787]

56. you say,

"but intent and existence of a criminal history are what determine whether one is truly a "criminal" in the sense originally implied."

She "intended" to leave the baby in a pool of feces to drown. And as far as existence of a criminal history... Does that mean that if I premeditate and kill someone but I have never done it before that I am not a criminal? Or that the crooks at Enron are not criminals because they were never charged previously?

And I never used the word hardened.

[Shakespeare]

58. Lot of assumptions there.

Do you know it was premeditated? No, you don't.

Do you know she intended the baby to die? No, you don't.

In fact, you know nothing about her motives. And neither do I. But I have made observations about her living conditions, which are made pretty clear in the article. It's likely that her living situation is much worse than what little was described in the article--but knowing what the living conditions are for migrant farmworkers, I do know what her, oh, let's call it "baseline of misery" is. That's relevant, whether you want to believe it or not. It doesn't excuse what she's done, but it should be taken into consideration as prosecution moves forward.

Knowing what little we know about this story so far, we can observe that the girl went into labor while she was working the fields, dashed into a port-o-potty and gave birth. We know she's underage. We know her working and living conditions are likely to be truly awful. We know that it's almost certain she's uneducated and likely speaks little or no English. We know it's almost certain she has no healthcare. We know that the culture she comes from is, to put it mildly, harshly paternalistic, and not terribly sympathetic to unwed mothers.

I have not said anywhere on this thread that I think she shouldn't be punished--all I've done is offer a little pity and despair over the kid's situation, and voiced hope that the mitigating circumstances be taken into consideration when the time comes to decide how severely to punish the girl.

I am stunned that some on this board have no capacity to grok what the girl's living situation is and feel at least a little pity for her.

[trav5787]

60. Let's see

Pool of feces...Newborn baby that can't lift it's head. Sounds like she was trying to kill it. End of discussion. It's bull when people use their situation to attempt to excuse bad behavior. Her living conditions don't have jack squat to do with what she did.

And I am stunned that someone could try to justify what she did.

[Shakespeare]

62. WRONG - not end of discussion.

You wanna see this in black and white and NOT take into consideration any of the circumstances surrounding what happened--well, bully for you. Go right ahead.

I'm not justifying what she did--again, stop fucking putting words in my mouth--typical freep tactic.* I'm saying that you have absolutely nothing to base your opinion on regarding motive. I've outlined in detail what the mitigating circumstances are that should be considered, because that much can be readily gathered from what we know. Until her statement to police is released, you don't know jack shit about her motive.

Let me try this ONE more time, since you seem limited in your ability to differentiate. I'm not justifying what she did or saying that she shouldn't be punished (and this is about the fifth time I've said that as you continue to put words into my mouth). I'm saying the circumstances under which this sad event take place should be taken into consideration when punishment is meted out. Got it? Saying that the degree of punishment should be based on what the actual circumstances of the crime are is NOT--there, I put it in bold letters for you--NOT saying she shouldn't be punished or that what she did isn't wrong.

But please, do go on obfuscating, whether deliberately or out of ignorance.

*Single-digit post count duly noted.

[trav5787]

67. That is Bull

You are excusing her behavior by letting her get off lightly because of her circumstances.

[Shakespeare]

69. Nope, not excusing it.

But keep trying.

[trav5787]

61. Nanny State

Has the nanny state mentality so infected the Democratic party that we can't even call a crime a crime anymore? No one is willing to take the consequences for their actions. It is always someone else's fault. It's not her fault blah, blah, blah. Have compassion. Bull, punish her and the next one might think twice about doing it.

[Shakespeare]

66. GOP talking point #3

You're on a roll.

Again, noting for the record I never said it wasn't her fault. But keep trying, creep.

[trav5787]

68. Ahem

I have not resorted to name calling. Please keep it civil. Just because I disagree with you doesn't hive you the right to be rude.

[Shakespeare]

70. No, you distort and flat-out misrepresent.

Which, in my book, is far worse than name-calling. I don't have to be nice to you.

I'm just waiting to see which GOP talking point you throw at me next. I may even begin wagering on it.

[trav5787]

73. Poor little one

Getting frustrated because someone disagrees with you so you resort to name calling and cussing? It's ok. I will overlook it you can't help it you must have had a bad childhood.

[Shakespeare]

75. Frustrated? Nope. Laughing my ass off, though.

When one can't win an argument, the usual diversionary tactic is to distort and misrepresent. Watch Fox News much?

I had a lovely childhood, by the way. I'm in-your-face and relentless because I like a good argument--if you consider that bad behavior, well, okay. I call it tenacity, because I have a low tolerance for bullshit.

[trav5787]

71. Ok

You didn't say it wasn't her fault but you still want to let her off lightly, which will only encourage others to do the same.

[Shakespeare]

72. No, I don't think it will encourage others to do the same.

Lemme guess...you're a big fan of three strikes laws, aren't you?

[trav5787]

74. Well...

If you can't reform them you might as well lock them up.

[Shakespeare]

76. Yah. Kinda thought so.

Hoo-boy.

[JayS]

83. three strikes laws

Those were such a great idea in theory but such a bad idea in practice as they were just not very well thought out.

[hightime]

77. I don't want to get between the 2 of you fighting..but

"Do you know she intended the baby to die? No, you don't."

Yes I do. It is obvious to the most casual observer that that was her intention. Her other motives I do not know but the fact remains that NOBODY could think that leaving a minutes old infant in a pool of feces is not killing it. I refuse to suspend common sense and rational thought in order to entertain the idea that she didn't mean to kill the infant.

[Name removed]

78. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[hightime]

79. I never thought you were suggesting that.

And I will try to get my post count up for the post count elistist in all of us. :eyes:

[Shakespeare]

80. Sorry if I offended.

It's been an ugly time on the boards lately--I hope you'll understand if some of us are a little wary.

[nodehopper]

88. I didn't want to get into this thread

But I thought your argument was completely right-on. Thanks for taking the time to defend it.

[Virginian]

81. We have a project to make baby items

There are a lot of young women coming to this area who get jobs as maids and members of a cleaning crew who do not speak English and who do not read and write in any language.
They are alone and away from family and quite gullible. A boy can talk them into sex with the promise of marriage. As in any culture, the heel then abandons them after they get knocked up.
These girls bring their precious babies into the world without insurance, without money for clothes. There are no baby showers for these girls there is a lot of shame involved. We try to make them something that is new and made special for their baby, something that isn't a hand-me-down. I'm not fast at making patchwork quilts, so about all I can do is embroidered bibs.

[DS1]

21. Just what we need, more FReepers running around

:eyes:

/some backstory for newbies

FReepers revolve around porta-potties, they guard them with their lives, it's really kinda cultish.

This could be the immaculate FReep. Or some distorted FReeper variation of Dr. Who...

[kerrycrat2k4]

25. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson should be burning in hell by now (nt)

[trav5787]

30. Late Term Abortion?

There was a judge that ruled a few months ago that a woman was innocent of murder because the umbilical cord was still attached. This is the logical conclusion. It's her choice right?

[Roaming]

65. That's just sick

[JayS]

37. Yup, California has the Baby Moses Law also. There is no...

...excuse for abandoning a baby...period.

For a shocker, guess what state had the first Baby Moses Law...and guess who started it. :)

(The history of this law is actually a good example of what a difference one person can make)

[hightime]

38. Former Governor, George W. Bush

Former Governor, George W. Bush signs the country's first Baby Moses legislation, HB 3423, into law.

- June 3, 1999

[JayS]

40. Yup, strange isn't it. He actually did some good things while...

...he was here. I don't know what happened after he left. Maybe the power went to his head or something. Maybe he is just f**king nuts.

[hightime]

41. Don't tell anyone....I cheated....I have the internet you know.

:evilgrin:

[JayS]

46. I thought you got to the library and back awful fast. :) n/t

n/t

[Beaverhausen]

42. Who wrote/proposed the law?

My guess is not him.

[JayS]

44. He did not write it, just made it possible.

In a nutshell, a Houston resident was concerned about the number of babies found in dumpsters one year. She knew a lawyer in Austin that had access to the Capitol. The lawyer shopped her concerns until Representative Geanie Morrison (R) took up the cause and got Bush to lend support.

[hightime]

47. Rep. Geanie Morrison (R)

[Tight_rope]

85. SHUT UP!

I'm in shock...he's done some many evil things that it has blinded us from seeing the little good he did do.

Ok! One point for Bush. His total is now -999,999,999,999,999.

[ima_sinnic]

86. don't forget the Do Not Call List

--that was one other good thing that happened under a Bush watch. Can't think of any more, though.

[nodehopper]

89. touche

[LiberalTexan]

82. And on a happier note..............

I gave birth to a healthy baby girl on May 9th. Just thought I'd let all of you know since I haven't mentioned it yet on DU. I just thought this sad thread could use a lift. We've got enough heartache going on in this world....

[Tight_rope]

84. Congratulations! I wish you and your baby girl great happiness!

[Kadie]

87. ***UPDATE***

Baby abandoned in farmworker toilet in serious condition

The Associated Press
Last Updated: June 19, 2004, 01:55:15 PM PDT


SALINAS, Calif. (AP) - A newborn girl who was born, then abandoned in a portable toilet remains hospitalized in serious condition, a hospital spokeswoman said Saturday.

The baby's 17-year-old mother will likely face attempted murder charges, authorities said.

Shortly after the baby was born Thursday, a field foreman heard her crying and rescued the 3 1/2-pound girl who was born about seven weeks early.

The infant's body temperature was 80.5 degrees Fahrenheit and her umbilical cord was still attached.

more... http://www.modbee.com/state_wire/story/8733177p-9609351c.html

[undergroundpanther]

92. problems

1st..Hypocrite Religions..it teaches that all life is sacred.(esp.humans)And truthfully human life is as valuable as any other life is it's only special because our culture is so anthropocentric.,in this world a life in order to continue existing it is forced to feed upon the living beings around itself.The very fabric of our existence as lifeforms is dreadfully flawed. The real enemy is not changes,it's life and the destruction it requires of life just to exist here.That is the real injustice.
2nd..Elitism: the game of have and have nots. There are have nots who cannot afford to give birth but they do.Our culture so believes in inequality of people,all living and each are sacred..just we think some are more sacred than others,our actions speak louder than sentiments or guilt trips do. The generational families that are the biggest hoarders of societies collective wealth NEVER get called on their insane greed because everyone is waiting for a turn at the money trough.The rich withhold the fruits of many people's labor to themselves.They are not entitled to this,we are just conditioned to believe they are.Just like a serf thinks a king is"natural". The fact is this is a culture built on anti-social,inhuman values. Like selfishness and the competition it fosters between people who will not share is destroying us one by one.

Mental illness/medical model
Psychiatry is for the most part a failure.It is witch doctoring in white coats.Badly done.

A pill and an hour of venting every week will not remove the deep scars on the heart of growing up with sick parents who were scarred and never resolved it, in a sick abusive culture.
Our culture is abusive,dehumanizing,degrading and emotionally painful,and it makes for individuals who are traumatized.
Until we honestly look at the sociopath side of our culture (and our own hearts for that matter)and really refuse to enable the sick games of narcissists,bullies and abusers.I mean just stop it stop being a jerk being violent etc.The only truly free choice made in an abusive situation is the choice a bully makes to bully someone else.And violence and belittling speech is _always_ a choice too ,being hurt by an asshole isn't always chosen..How long until we admonishing hurting people for being "too sensitive" when they are hurt by some ass.When will we stop going into denial,and stop blaming the 'messengers'and discrediting them when it makes us squirm?..Until we look at trauma issues as individuals and as a culture nothing will change.We will keep on playing pretend and hurting each other.

And this truth applies to parents especially.

Let the chain of abusive family legacy be broken with you,do not fill your child up with the things your parents hurt you with, because you are in emotional pain. Give the child a chance to have their own voice.Even when you don't like what you hear.