Woman arrested carrying 266 dead parrots

[TahitiNut]

Woman arrested carrying 266 dead parrots
Tue May 18, 2004 12:56 PM ET
By Tansa Musa

YAOUNDE (Reuters) - Cameroon has arrested a Nigerian woman who was found carrying more than 200 dead parrots and rare Bannerman Turaco feathers, a customs official says.

The central African country has recently stepped up its fight against the poaching and killing of endangered species.

Officers stopped Meimuna Ahmed while she was on a bus with 266 embalmed grey parrots and 597 red Bannerman Turaco feathers in the northwestern town Bamenda.
<more...>

---

"They ain't dead! They's pinin' for the fjords!"

(I can't believe I'm the first to jump on this story!?!? How could ANYONE resist?)

[Greyskye]

1. No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

[mr_hat]

2. 'E's 'aving a kip after an extended squawk.

[SpiralHawk]

3. Stone Cold Dead, I tell you

Look at them. They are toasted, wasted, rigor mortis has set in. They are stone cold dead, I tell you.

[OneBlueSky]

6. 'e's not dead . . . e's just pining . . . :) n/t

.

[no_hypocrisy]

4. It's not dead. It's pining for the Fjords.

Beautiful plummage, that?

On edit: Oops! Dupe from original post . . .

[mopinko]

45. 'e's not pinin'

'e's PASSED ON!

[Media_Lies_Daily]

5. 'E's nawt dead, 'e's just restin'.

[TahitiNut]

92. Yup.

[daleo]

7. And John Cleese could come up with a different synonym

for "dead parrot" for each of these 266 birds.

Went to join the Choir Eternal is one I always liked.

[KamaAina]

8. Your parrots have expired.

They are ex-parrots!

[nodehopper]

9. I can't believe you people think it's funny. What the hell is wrong w/you

[CBHagman]

10. There are thousands of people who would think of Monty Python...

...the minute they saw the headline. We can't help ourselves.

[Shadder]

12. No, we cannot

Just like every single time I walk past coconuts in a store I have to pick up two and start banging them together. It's hard coced into the brain.

[TahitiNut]

14. "the minute"?? (sheesh) THE NANOSECOND!

I saw the CNN crawl out of the corner of my eye and immediately saw the whole Monty Python skit run through my (albeit sick) mind before the crawl even finished. I was stunned it wasn't already posted! ('Cause I KNOW there're many DUers even sicker than me.)

[utopian]

18. I foolishly thought I'd be the first to make a Python Joke

I should have known better.

[zbdent]

33. You think you're bad? I just posted on the "I'm a redneck" thread

that I started thinking about the "Lumberjack" song, and the rhythm was f-ed up.

[TahitiNut]

54. I LOVE the Lumberjack song.

I have an mpg of it and play it when I can use a stupid giggle. (Yeah, I'm definitely cashew.)

[loudsue]

73. ('Cause I KNOW there're many DUers even sicker than me.)

Ya? Name ONE!
:crazy:
:kick::kick::kick:

[Shadder]

77. I think I'd qualify.

When I first heard about Nick Berg one of the first things that I thought about was Nearly Headless Nick from the Harry Potter books.....

[Nihil]

93. Thank God someone else did!

My excuse was that I'd been reading the book with my daughter on the
night before the news broke!

[0rganism]

20. I'm actually surprised anyone would think of anything else at first

It's only one of the most popular Monty Python skits EVER. Speaking for myself, the association was instantaneous.

That said, it's strange and sad that these beautiful and intelligent creatures were dead and carted around like so much luggage.

[TahitiNut]

22. 99.99% agreed (0.01% reserved on principle)

These creatures are some of the most wonderful feathered friends we could have on the planet -- harming nobody and offering just beauty and fascination.

... and pinin' for the fjords. :silly:

[TahitiNut]

13. Ahhh... 'tis sad you've not been Monty Python'd

Would you like a session at the Argument Clinic? :silly:

And now for something completely different.

[Cassandra]

52. They didn't come for an argument

they came for abuse, which is easily found on another thread. Now if only we could get a cheese shop thread going....

[TahitiNut]

55. We don't have that kind of thread.

Nor edam, cheddar, gruyere ... :silly:

[Cassandra]

57. Yes, this thread has been very clean...

certainly free of cheese.

[Shadder]

66. Happy to be of service...

(a customer walks in the door)
Customer: Good Morning.

Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.

Owner: Peckish, sir?

Customer: Esuriant.

Owner: Eh?

Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike!

Owner: Ah, hungry!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

Owner: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Owner: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Owner: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Owner: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Owner: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Owner: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Owner: No.

Customer: Lipta?

Owner: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Owner: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Owner: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Owner: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Owner: No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Owner: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Owner: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Owner: No.

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Owner: Oooooooooohhh........!

Customer: What now?

Owner: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: Has he.

Owner: She, sir.


(pause)
Customer: Gouda?

Owner: No.

Customer: Edam?

Owner: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Owner: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Owner: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Owner: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Owner: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Owner: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.



(pause)
Customer: Greek Feta?

Owner: Uh, not as such.

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Owner: no

Customer: Parmesan,

Owner: no

Customer: Mozarella,

Owner: no

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Owner: no

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Owner: no

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Owner: no

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Owner: Not *today*, sir, no.



(pause)
Customer: Aah, how about Cheddar?

Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world!

Owner: Not 'round here, sir.

Customer: and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

Owner: 'Illchester, sir.

Customer: IS it.

Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

Customer: Is it.

Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir!

Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?

Owner: Right, sir.

Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

Owner: I'll have a look, sir...
.....nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

Owner: Finest in the district!

Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir!

Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

Customer: Would it be worth it?

Owner: Could be....

Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

Owner: Told you sir....

Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

Owner: No.

Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:

Owner: Yessir?

Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.

Owner: Yes, sir.

Customer: Really?



(pause)

Owner: No. Not really, sir.

Customer: You haven't.

Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.

Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

Owner: Right-Oh, sir.



(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner)

Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.

[Cassandra]

71. Thank you

that's one of my favorites. So absurd on so many levels.

[TahitiNut]

82. <giggle> "It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question ...

"... in the first place."


(Indeed! What person of any years whatsoever doesn't know how he feels!??! These people run more than just cheese shops.)

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

67. Imho, the Argument Clinic is hands-down the funniest thing Python

did on their TV show.

Argument Clinic


No, it isn't!
Yes, it is!

[TahitiNut]

86. Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!

Ooops! Sorry, wrong thread. I wanted thread 12A.

[Scairp]

23. Seriously

Those birds died horrible deaths. It isn't funny. And it happens all the time. These animals are poached in the jungle, smuggled in terrible ways and most of them die before they even reach their destination. This so some lowlife can sell them to pet stores so another idiot can buy it to put a beautiful bird in a cage. I know they're not people but it's still cruel and wholly unnecessary. Anyone who thinks it's funny has rocks for brains.

[mike1963]

34. You are of course exactly right, but when horrors of this magnitude appear

and it's too late to really "do anything" about it, gallows humor is called for - otherwise we just go totally, completely, fucking insane.

Call it defense mechanism, call it denial, or call it sick. I plead guilty to any or all three.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

37. You need to get a grip. The commentary is nothing but a spin-off...

...from one of the most popular, and outrageously funny, Monty Python skits ever shown.

Some of you people seem to like taking umbrage at the slightest perceived offense. Why is that? Did you have your sense of humor removed at birth?

[DoNotRefill]

44. Ummm...they were embalmed...

so I doubt they were headed to a pet store...

[Media_Lies_Daily]

47. Only if they were also going to be...

...nailed to perches.

[oasis]

26. To understand, you'll need a slight shift in parrotdigms.

:silly:

[nodehopper]

41. I get the reference. I just don't think it's funny these birds

died awful deaths. Wow, I must be humorless!

[Media_Lies_Daily]

85. I'll bet you don't even have a favorite color.

[Beaker]

35. were any of them Norwegian Blues?

remarkable bird, the norwegian blue...

[Media_Lies_Daily]

36. What the hell is wrong with YOU? Lose your funny-bone somewhere...

...or were you born without one?

[nodehopper]

40. Yes, it's hilarious when birds die horrible deaths.

I have a sense of humor.

Here are some examples of what I find funny:

knock-knock jokes
the Daily Show
Pink Panther movies
etcetera.

You know what I DON'T find funny? when birds are killed in painful and awful ways for no reason except greed.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

48. How do you know they were "killed in painful and awful ways"?....

I seem to recall that the story stated that they were already embalmed. We know NOHING about how they died, do we?

[nodehopper]

56. chances are

they died like most the other poached birds that are embalmed for commerce and gifts. That is, they are lured into nets where they struggle for hours and sometimes days, or they are lured by feed that has insecticides like DDT mixed in them that paralyzes them and kills them slowly and painfully. That's how you catch birds on a mass scale if you don't care about them staying healthy or alive.

[trogdor]

68. Now, don't get me started with the Sir Robin song.

[TahitiNut]

83. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

:silly:

[Shadder]

11. These are ex-parrots

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased
to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft
of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be
pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off
the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run
down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

[peterh]

15. ........

[Media_Lies_Daily]

38. Bwahahahahahahaha....snort..snort!!

[KoKo]

16. It's amazing what one had to do to make money, today. Dead Parrots?

Probably the least of it, as grotesque as that seems. Hey! Ken Lay was worse than this in the number of lives he touched and the damage he did, but even an animal lover such as myself, wonders about the "entrepreneurship" of Mz. Dead Parrot.

[TahitiNut]

17. I think I've been on busses and planes with such women!

Imagine how many people got bashed in the head by her carry-on bags. How many plastic bags do you suppose it takes to carry 266 dead parrots? :eyes:

[Thor_MN]

30. African or European?

Sorry, Sorry

[GregW]

19. Those parrots wouldn't VOOM if you put 4 million volts through 'em!

:D

[The Stranger]

21. Are these types of parrots endangered?

And there are over 200 of them that have been illegally poached?

Gosh, that is fucking hilarious.

[SpiralHawk]

24. Free clue: This is black humor

Millions upon millions of people have seen the Monty Python skit. They cannot help but think of it in the context of this news.

No one is approving or applauding or even laughing at the real dead parrots. Rather, to get clinical, they are discharging their tension by having a laugh at a horrible situation. It is known as Black Humor.

[TahitiNut]

31. But didn't "Dr. Strangelove" show that nuclear annihilation was funny?

Didn't "M*A*S*H" show us that maimed and killed soldiers in the Korean War were funny?

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I choose.

:eyes: :eyes: :eyes:


I somehow suspect explaining this is a waste of effort.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

43. The one major memory I have of "Dr. Strangelove" is...

...Slim Pickens going out the bombbay doors riding that nuclear weapon screaming "Yeehaw"!! Funny yet terribly sad.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

39. Good lord...why do you feel compelled to explain to the humor-challenged?

[nodehopper]

42. Here's a challenge for you:

Why don't you come up with a funny joke about the tortured detainees? Since you are such a master humorist. And if you say that it's not funny, well, in my opinion, neither is this.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

46. I don't recall that anyone was discussing the tortured detainees...

...in this thread, do you? I seem to recall that the original post in this thread was discussing a large number of dead parrots...is that not also your recollection?

Why do you feel compelled to make some sort of association between dead parrots about whom we can do absolutely nothing, and tortured Iraqi detainees about whom hearings are finally being held?

Are you actually trying to make some kind of comparison between dead parrots and live people...do you actually believe the dead parrots are more important than human beings? Please don't tell me that you are...I might have to resort to even more Black Humor.

By the way, are you also bringing your little rant to the attention of all of the other posters who found the Black Humor in this story? Take your time...I'm interested to see if they treat you as kindly as I have.

[nodehopper]

53. I was just pointing out the logical fallacy

In an ad hominem attack saying I have no sense of humor because I don't find dead birds funny.

The logical fallacy is--if I don't find one particular terrible news story as something that could be funny, I have no sense of humor.

That's a logical gallacy. The converse fallcy is saying that if you have a sense of humor, you will find every terrible news story funny.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

58. "Ad hominem attack"?? Hey, if I wanted to really attack you,...

...there would have been nothing "ad hominem" about it.

Keep posting though...the hole you're digging for yourself is getting larger by the post.

[nodehopper]

72. what's that supposed to mean? is that a threat?

"...there would have been nothing "ad hominem" about it."

Why do you think I am digging myself a hole? Nothing that I said is incorrect. An ad hominem attack is an attack on aspects of one's personal character that have nothing to do with the argument, like my supposed lack of humor.

You are rude.

[Shadder]

76. And your in the wrong room.

You want an argument, thats two doors down. This is returns.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

84. "Rude"?? And you remind me of the following "Monty Python" skit...

A man walks into an office.

Man: Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please.

Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?

Man: No, this is my first time.

Receptionist: I see, well we'll see who's free at the moment. Mr. Bakely's free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. No. Try Mr. Barnhart, room 12.

Man: Thank you.

He enters room 12.

Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?

Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...

Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!

Man: What?

A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!

M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!

A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!

M: Oh! Oh I see!

A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.

M: Oh...Sorry...

A: Not at all!

A: (under his breath) stupid git.

The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.

Man: Is this the right room for an argument?

*Other Man: (short pause) I've told you once.

Man: No you haven't!

Other Man: Yes I have.

M: When?

O: Just now.

M: No you didn't!

O: Yes I did!

M: You didn't!

O: I did!

M: You didn't!

O: I'm telling you, I did!

M: You didn't!

O: (breaking into the developing argument) Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.

O: Just the five minutes. Thank you. Anyway, I did.

M: You most certainly did not!

O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN'T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN'T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN'T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

(short pause)

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

(pause)

M: It's just contradiction!

O: No it isn't!

M: It IS!

O: It is NOT!

M: You just contradicted me!

O: No I didn't!

M: You DID!

O: No no no!

M: You did just then!

O: Nonsense!

M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!

(pause)

O: No it isn't!

M: Yes it is!

(pause)

I came here for a good argument!

O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!

M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

O: Well! it CAN be!

M: No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a proposition.

O: No it isn't!

M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.

O: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position!

M: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

O: It is NOT!

M: It is!

O: Not at all!

M: It is!

> DING!< The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.


O: Thank you, that's it.

M: (stunned) What?

O: That's it. Good morning.

M: But I was just getting interested!

O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.

M: That was never five minutes!!

O: I'm afraid it was.

M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....

(pause)

O: (dirty look) I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.

M: WHAT??

O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

M: But that was never five minutes just now!

(pause... the Other Man raises his eyebrows)

Oh Come on! Oh this is... This is ridiculous!

O: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!

M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.

O: Thank you.

M: (clears throat) Well...

O: Well WHAT?

M: That was never five minutes just now.

O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

M: Well I just paid!

O: No you didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: (unable to talk straight he's so mad) I don't want to argue about it!

O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!

M: Ah HAH!! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!

O: (pause) No you haven't!

M: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.

O: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.


I'm just arguing in my spare time...would you like to continue?

[TahitiNut]

87. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish

... a proposition. Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

Sew, what's yer proposition, Beanie? :silly:

[Shadder]

90. No it isn't!

.....

[The Stranger]

69. Great. Thanks for the free clue. Now I feel so much better. No really,

I do. The problem isn't "Black Humor," I think, but the fact that there is so much of it.

Shakespeare said the truest sign of a troubled man is a razor wit (or something like that). But lingering in the "Black Humor" really constitutes a denial of its real cause.

Remarks about others being "humor challenged" really indicate a desire to stay within the denial. That is, don't pay attention to the one not laughing, he's talking about that elephant in the room no one wants to talk about. Keep laughing with me.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

88. Ah, yes...yet another attempt to avoid humor, "black" though it may be....

My Dad used to tell me that humor will get you through times that appear to be the worst you've ever seen. Dad's been through quite a bit in 84 years...the Great Depression, WWII, the deaths of his parents, the death of a daughter, the deaths of most of his siblings, the deaths of three wives, and he survived Pancreatic cancer to boot.

Through it all, Dad's always found something that caused him to laugh or to look on the positive side.

Apparently, some of you were never taught that lesson.

Sad, really.

[Fridays Child]

25. Maybe she's a member of the Dead Parrots Society.

:bounce:

[Lou_C]

27. I hate people like that

I hope she rots in hell.

[TahitiNut]

28. more...

"The 41-year-old woman planned to sell the birds and the highly prized feathers, used in black magic rites and to decorate community leaders, in Nigeria, he said."

Ermine stoles for kings and popes? Rare "finery"? Nudity is obscene but this is OK? Yeah, right. :puke:

'nough said, methinketh.


As a Viking descendant, I'm surely pinin' for the fjords.

[Lou_C]

29. The thought of all of those beautiful birds being killed makes me

:puke:

[ParanoidPat]

51. Well how about this.......

.....This bird was my buddy Blue.



He was a wild peacock that showed up in my yard one day several years ago. I was the only one he would let near him. He would show up every morning looking for breakfast and hang around all day chasing my wife's cats and harassing my kids and anyone else who came around. At dusk he would wander off into the woods and hang out in a pine tree till first light. He became such a part of my family that if I forgot to feed him he would simply walk into our kitchen and eat the cats food out of their bowl. He just had to be the meanest, loudest beast in the neighborhood. If the dogs in the neighborhood barked, he had to start his 'screeching' call even louder. Truck horns, sirens, Harley Davidson's, power tools, anything loud, he had to be louder! He was a real pain in the ass but he was my bud! He ate like a friggin' horse and converted it all to fertilizer that he left all over my porch. I used to tell him that he would end up as Christmas dinner if he kept it up.

Two years ago on Christmas day, Blue met his match in the form of a mating pair of eagles. They took him out right in my front yard! They didn't leave a hell of a lot, just a few feathers before they flew off with his carcass.

As horrible as it was to lose him that way and as bad as I felt about losing such a beautiful and close friend, I still have to laugh at the irony of how and when he left. :)

Whenever we reminisce about him, my wife and I always remember the immortal words of Al Bundy from an old episode of Married With Children, "Peg, feed me or feed me to something! I just want to be part of the food chain!"

And he was! :evilgrin: We miss ya Blue!

[Lou_C]

60. Sometimes I hate eagles and i know that sounds bad

They carry Dogs and Cats off and your beautiful bird was killed by a couple of eagles.

He was a beautiful peacock and I can understand why you miss him.

[Judi Lynn]

32. Her entrepreneurial spirit would stir the hearts of Republicans everywhere

She's obviously just a beginner, as her victems are rather small, and even less able to fight back than human beings, so you'd call her a beginner Republican.

Advanced Republicans also prey upon the helpless, but their methods involve more circuitous, more time-consuming patterns before they drain their prey of it's life's blood and will to live.

F'r instance, WHERE are her tax loopholes, and her business cronies? She's going to have to get with the program.



(I think it's important to remember the political angle in a D.U. story.)

[Eye and Monkey]

49. Does the RNC accept donations of dead parrots? They have plenty live ones.

[Eye and Monkey]

50. On second thought, did the membership of FreeRepublic drop by 266?

[Nihil]

61. Quick - do a head count in Congress and the Senate!

(On both sides of the floor)

[SideshowScott]

59. As a former Parrot Owner i find the news horrifying and sad

Now I'm a HUGE Monty Python fan and I did crack a bit of a smile at the " Dead Parrot Sketch " Jokes here.
BUT
Ive Owned 2 Birds and they can be just as loving as any cat or dog if you take care of them right and give them love..My Yellow headed Amazon was so sweet he would cuddle up with me and sleep like a cat. And learned so many words and songs that you could have a near conversation with him. He would follow me around the house and HAD to be in the same room as me perched on my shoulder or by the commuter ready for head scratchies...When he died I don't think i will ever be able to replace him. They are very smart creatures and feel sadness and pain just as much as your cat or dog I feel.. ( Now I know there can be Birds from hell that will keep you up and be anti-scocial..Parrots have very fragile psyke and will take a while to be nice..Diet can have an effect on a birds temperament as well )
I find it very tragic that so many beautiful animals have died horribly..There is a very bad problem of poachers taking the birds form th ire natural habitat and smuggling them over the boarder. If you have gotten a F'ed up bird then there is a good chance its been mangeled..Tied down in a suitcase or another horrible way to get them by customs..Its very sad and a problem that needs more attention to..Its just as bad as someone who did that to cats or dogs..
Scott

[Judi Lynn]

62. You were lucky to be acquainted with two of these wonderful creatures

I've been fascinated with everything I've ever heard about them. What you have added about their personal relationships with people they like was excellent. Had no idea their friendship was so strong.

I tried to find a photo of a Yellow Headed Amazon, and the ones I saw were just breath-taking:


Beautiful.

[phrenzy]

63. Awwwww....

Look at those cute little guys!

I love my peachfaced lovebird, Snapple - he's my best friend.

I've weaned many birds by hand in my time - and let me tell you - the monty python jokes were fucking hilarious.

Yes it is black humor, as are 'dead baby' jokes and many other ones. I think the fact that it related to the MP skit is what triggered the humor, not that the situation itself is funny (although it is funny in an absurd sort of way - just because it is so out there)

Anyway, I would also find jokes about Abu Gharib prison guards funny, although less likely to find ones about the prisoners funny.

Maybe something like..

You hear about the guy that got sent to Abu Gharib?

bla bla

Although, I am certainly not ready for any Nick Berg Jokes and can't ever imagine being so after watching the video.

Hypocritical ? Yes - but everybody has to make their own decision.

[SideshowScott]

65. Parrots are VERY Smart Birds and can be very sweet..Cockatoos as well..

Dont get me wrong there are some birds that are pretty wild like Minahs and other breeds and dont care too much for humans or the fact that we like to sleep.. And there are Parrots that can just be plain mean..If your thinking about getting one make sure its been hand fed since it was a baby. See how it reacts with the person or pet shop your getting it from...Feed it fruit and veggies..( Just sunflower seeds, nuts and seeds can make it grouchy ) and whatever you do DONT get your bird a Mirror if you want it to be your pal..They will think its another bird and will ingore you and not be as freindly..Somtimes it will take time for the bird to trust you.. Get its nails and wings trimmed so it wont fly away and so you wont have to keep it caged and can hold on to you without you getting cut up ( I think a bird that has to stay in its cage is sad..If you do have to keep it in a cage build a Big one that it can move around in..that can fit in a corner..They are easy to build or keep your birds wings trimmed and keep the cage door open when your home so it can roam a bit )
Also Smaller cockatiels can be really sweet birds..I had one when I was a child and it was really nice..Loved being petted and was always on my shoulder.
A good parrot can be a wonderful pet to have..It does take some work and love to have..Give it freedom and love and it should be fine
Like I said I think this story is very sad if you know how great a good smart sweet bird can be to have..
Scott

[Beetwasher]

70. Indeed!

I feel the same way. I have two beautiful, intelligent parakeets...

People are a bit too PC over the Monty Python reference, I mean, come on! This is a sad story, but this is also an internet discussion board, what the hell can you expect?

[yardwork]

80. Good story about your parrots and the other birds on this thread.

I've owned two parrots and a cockatiel. They are very intelligent animals that feel emotions and pain just like other living creatures. Poaching is horrible.

At the same time, I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks as I read this thread. Black humor has an important place in society. It's the reason it is so common in hospitals and among EMTS, for one thing. It's better to laugh than cry.

Fortified and refreshed by laughter, we can now go out and kick poachers' butts! Vote for Kerry! A vote for Bush is a vote against the environment and against laws that protect living creatures.

[Dead_Parrot]

64. I deny everything. n/t

[AngryAmish]

74. heh

[BadGimp]

75. Polly want a coffin?

ok ok ok ... sorry

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

78. Some accomplices of hers were arrested too

A bunch of tall, unkempt Norwegian men who won't stop shouting "SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!"

[Media_Lies_Daily]

79. LOL!!

[Shadder]

81. Also with them

Were the Kinghts Who Say "Ne".......

[Media_Lies_Daily]

89. Well, at least they weren't dead lumberjacks....

...I might have paid good money to see some lady dragging around 266 embalmed lumberjacks in bags.

[TahitiNut]

91. Or film ...

... but Disney would've quashed the distribution, at the behest of Boise-Cascade.

http://www.ffrevolution.com/pythonmp3s/Monty%20Python%20-%20Lumberjack%20Song.mp3