Syrian men promise to marry women who were raped

[Judi Lynn]

Source: Washington Post

Syrian men promise to marry women who were raped
Monday, June 20, 11:53 AM

KHIRBET AL JOUS, Syria — A group of men have committed themselves to an unlikely way of challenging the violence that has swept Syria in recent months, pledging to marry women they have never met.

In this village near the Turkish border, Syrians fleeing their country’s own security forces have established a makeshift tent city. Hundreds of families, bearing only what they could fit in their cars, eagerly hope for the fall of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. Meanwhile, horror stories swirl about what has befallen the towns and villages they call home.

One involves four sisters from the nearby town of Sumeriya who were allegedly raped by pro-government Shabiha militiamen.

“It made us so mad. Such an injustice. We have decided we will marry them,” said Ibrahim Kayyis a 32-year-old baker from Jisr Al Shugur, another nearby town that was stormed by troops.



Read more: http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/middle-east/syrian-men-promise-to-marry-women-who-were-raped/2011/06/20/AG6sO1cH_story.html

[Doctor Hurt]

1. I guess that's good...

[glen123098]

2. Much different culture.

How does pledging to marry a woman you never met help them? I don't understand this. If anyone understands syrian culture please help me. Do these women have a choice in marrying these men? I'm guessing not because the article talks about how they are trying to regain the honor of the raped women. This is pretty fucked up.

[Schema Thing]

3. do you read about other places, other cultures very much, or no?

[glen123098]

7. Not as much as I should

I'm a product of American schools, with classes that focuses exclusively on white American culture. I never took any classes on Asian culture, Middle Eastern Culture (they weren't offered) Instead I took American History (which had a 500 page book, six of which were devoted to the native americans pre Columbus, and European history.

[LiberalLoner]

4. Never been to Syria, but I lived in Egypt for a year and developed

an intense interest in their culture as a result.

Generally, women there need to be married. Being married means you have protection and a place in society. In that society, you do not want to be a woman on your own. Women can have careers, sure, but they still very much need (in that culture) to be under the protection of a man. Women who are not, are pitied a great deal.

I would imagine these women are greatly relieved to receive marriage offers as otherwise they would be considered damaged goods (non-virgins) and unmarriageable. It's just how those cultures are. Not saying it's right, but that's how it is.

It would be kind of equivalent to, say, a model being injured and losing her ability to model - to work - and someone saying, "I will hire you instead and pay you a good salary." It is considered a great kindness.

They do have the right to refuse, although generally arranged marriages are still the rule rather than the exception. Parents usually have a great deal to say about whom a woman (or a man) marries.

[Beacool]

6. Don't forget the "honor" killings.

Non-virgin women, or married women who have been raped, have dishonored their families and are many times shunned and even killed.

:mad:

[glen123098]

9. I'm glad I don't live in a country like that.

While theer is the far religous right who might want our country to be like that, thankfully they don't have much power. Thanks for the info.

[LiberalLoner]

10. Actually the far religious right have more power than I am comfortable with them

having...in fact I would be shocked if Roe vs Wade were not overturned in my lifetime. :(

They also seem to have a lot of power in asserting creationism and "there's no climate change" as valid premises.

[FreakinDJ]

5. Some neighboring countries Rape victims are "Stoned to Death"

this by comparison seems to be a lot better

[TygrBright]

8. I applaud the compassion of the instinct. I hope this ends well for all concerned.

I don't really know enough about the culture and the individuals to be able to tell how likely a good ending may be.

But I hope for one. Compassion merits positive oucomes; it does not always receive its merits.

hopefully,
Bright

[NickB79]

11. Good. If more men step up and say rape doesn't stop them from marrying a woman

It could help to end the use of rape as a weapon against women in warzones. Rape is used not only because of it's immediate effects of pain and terror on the victim, but also the long-term psychological and sociological harm it does to her. If enough men say that there is no stigma against marrying a raped woman, one of the fears the victims have lived with might recede a bit.

While this isn't a total solution, it is a step in the right direction for their culture. It helps chip away at the "blame the victim" mentality that is still prevalent in far too many areas around the globe.

[shireen]

12. it's men like these that will help change the culture

Considering the cultural backdrop, what these men are doing says a lot about their respect for women. They recognize rape as a war crime, used to inflict deep 'shame' on families. They're sending a message that these women and their families have nothing to be ashamed of, that this was not their fault. I'll bet that they're also devout Muslims, who really understand the lessons of compassion and respect in the Koran.

[BadtotheboneBob]

13. They're sending a message

I agree with you, shireen, and I find this development most remarkable. I am no expert in Arab cultural mores, but I feel I'm rather informed only because I've taken the time to read and study about them. I also comment frequently on articles in The Arab News, the largest English language web site in the KSA. That can be challenging and frustrating as the moderators are heavy-handed and just because you write, doesn't mean you're posted. There is a Muslim sect issue within Syria with a sub-sect of the Shiites called the Alawi that are considered heretics by the Sunni majority and have been heavily proscribed through the years. Many of the 'reformers' the Syrian government are coming down on are Alawite. Although I can't say for sure, it could be these men are of that sub-sect as they are present in that immediate area.

[CJvR]

14. Provided...

...they actually asked the women in question I applaud it.

If they simply bartered with the girls father and uncles to buy some lightly damaged human cattle I find it much less noble, although for the ME still a giant step toward civilization.